


Heartfelt Entremes

by LaDragonaria



Series: Adios, Despair! [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Happy, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, OT3, no such thing as despair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:40:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDragonaria/pseuds/LaDragonaria
Summary: Munakata Kyosuke, Sakakura Juzo, and Yukizome Chisa are all classmates in Class 74 at Hope's Peak Academy. Munakata works tirelessly as the Super High School Class President, eager to sew the seeds of hope, and has somehow recruited two new best friends - Sakakura Juzo and Yukizome Chisa. Even though Yukizome sees that Sakakura also has feelings for Munakata, she's happy to help him try and win Munakata's heart... if she can't make him fall for her first!





	1. SHSL Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> This story is an AU based on the other story I did [ "I'll Follow You Into the Dark" http://archiveofourown.org/works/8136161 ] ...so everything's going to be school AU fluff and very little will hurt. And despair doesn't exist.
> 
> It's primarily going to be Munakata & Sakakura romance, but there's no aggressive love triangle tactics here. Just three best friends, and two who cheer each other on as they try to get Munakata's heart. Technically a love triangle but a very loving OT3.

From the dormitories of Hope’s Peak, Sakakura Juzo, the Super High School Level Boxer, was doing all the research on the Class President he could.

Super High School Level Student Council President, Munakata Kyosuke.

He could still feel the bruises from the beatdown he’d been given by him. Forced to attend classes like a good student. He grumbled, but there was nothing to be done about it.

Munakata had set the wager, and Sakakura had lost. Now he just had to grin and bear it.

At least it was lively. Munakata and Yukizome were quickly becoming his two best friends, but he also saw a... perhaps some kind of rival... in Yukizome. The whole thing made him heartsick and nauseous.

He scrolled down the listing of the search results on Munakata. There were some articles about some wunderkind with a flair for debate, and of course some speculation that he was attending Hope’s Peak.

There was an entire rabbit hole he went down trying to see more about the Hope’s Peak students. There was some morbid curiosity to see what people said about him too.

Things like “Sakakura Juzo: Wins by TKO”, “Sakakura Juzo: Gold Again”, “Olympic Hopefuls”, “One Hitter-Quitter: Sakakura Juzo’s Latest”...

Well, this was becoming narcissistic very quickly.

Still, if he’d been up against Munakata in an actual ring, would he able to win?

“Hah... That idiot can’t throw boxing punches. He’d get his ass beat... If it were mixed martial arts maybe...”

That would be fun to see. Munakata facing down an opponent... sweaty... half-naked... Okay, this was going a little graphic now.

He closed tab after tab of information, deciding not to gently stalk the Class President. He could just ask. They were friends now.

The last tab was still open.

It read, “How do you gay?”

...

“Why am I like this...” Sakakura sighed and the tab. It’s not really second hand embarrassment when it’s yourself. He’d been... investigating things. And... the pictures were helpful. “...I’m garbage. Literal garbage.”

 

The next day of class was uneventful. Everyone had showed up for class again today. With Munakata leading the class, that was to be expected.

His notes were horrendous scribbles.

When class had ended, he began to pack up his things.

“Hey, dude, do you know when the homework is-”

“No.” He answered simply. Not like he had been listening.

He left almost immediately, packing up his things. He half-expected Munakata to come out and yell at him.

“You’ll never make friends like that, Sakakura.” It was Yukizome, not Munakata. She talked even as he frowned down at her. “Can’t you be more considerate?”

“How’s it my responsibility? If the kid didn’t take notes that’s his own damn fault.”

“No wonder you’re a boxing champ.” She said crossing her arms angrily. “You have no idea what it means to be a team player.”

“Nope, sure don’t.”

He said brusquely and walked away. Yukizome was coming after him.

“Wait up!”

“Not a chance!”

He’s very confident he can outrun a homemaker, but when he looks back he can see she’s actually gaining on him. This woman is scary!

“I said wait!”

“Go away, you weirdo!”

Yukizome is a full foot shorter than her but she tackles him like a linebacker. She knocks him completely off balance, sending them both sprawling and tumbling through the hallway. Other students cautiously avoid them now, pausing only to chuckle.

“Ow... fuck... What the hell was that?”

“I... I won!” Yukizome is clearly gloating.

“Won what?!” Sakakura sighs and sees that his bag has begun spilling loose papers everywhere. “Damn it... Look what you did.”

He begins to pick them up.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I... I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

The two of them bicker as they try to collect loose sheets of paper. The crowd largely ignores them as they walk through, some of them stepping on the papers.

“Hey!” Sakakura calls out to them. “Watch where you’re stepping!”

He’s maybe a bit too nasty as the people immediately bolt from him. He’s never been good at making friends, let alone talking to people. 

Munakata’s the kind of person who commands respect. He’s the kind of person who can charm a room. Sakakura doesn’t have those gifts. He can talk to some people, and they feel like they can talk to him honestly... but people are usually intimidated by him.

“Are you alright?”

Sakakura looks up. Munakata stands there with his hand outstretched. He turns a soft shade of pink as he’s helped up by him.

“I’m fine.” He manages to say, almost meekly.

“Are you and Yukizome getting along?”

“Of course we are!”

Yukizome smiles and starts putting papers back into Sakakura’s bag neatly. Once she’s done, he takes it back.

“Thank you for coming to class today.” He says with that automatic smile.

“Yeah... Well...” He takes a deep breath. “You beat me fair and square, so I gotta do it like we agreed.”

“Huh? Beat you?” Yukizome seems flustered. “You two were fighting?”

“Oh, the bet. Well...” Munakata smiles. “I was hoping I could convince you to come on your own. I wish it hadn’t come to fighting.”

“You were pretty good. We should train together.”

“I don’t know a thing about boxing, sorry.”

“It doesn’t have to be just boxing. You can do your... whatever martial arts you do. I don’t get many good opponents. And I need someone who can take a punch.”

He says throwing a mock punch towards Munakata’s face. It doesn’t faze him.

“...Maybe sometimes. If I don’t have things to prepare.”

“W-Well... if you need help with that, I can... do stuff.”

“I’ll help too.” Yukizome smiled. 

Sakakura gave her a slightly annoyed look. Oh, yeah. She’s here too. 

“Then, can you and I go over some things later?” He smiled appreciatively. “I need to practice a speech.”

“Yeah, sure. Here...” He says pulling out his phone. “I’ll put your number in. Just call me when you want.”

“Ooh, good idea.” Yukizome said taking out her phone.

The three of them exchanged numbers. He would have to remember not to annoy him too much but... the idea of sending him messages or finding reasons to talk to him...

He nearly jumped feeling Munakata’s hand on his arm. There was an appreciative squeeze of his bicep.

“Thank you. Truly. I’m very grateful!”

 

When Munakata leaves and they’re more in private, Yukizome gives Sakakura a funny look.

“What?”

“You’re a sly one.”

“...Meaning what?”

“Munakata might be a little blind when it comes to that area, but I saw you making eyes at him."

He turns red, scoffs, and immediately starts to march away.

“H-Hey, wait!” Yukizome grabs him by the sleeve. Her drops her voice more to a whisper. “It... It’s okay, you know. I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“Tell anyone what exactly?” He booms at her, but she only flinches for a moment.

“How... you feel about Munakata. I’m not the kind of girl that starts rumors, especially not about friends.”

“We’re friends? Since when?”

“That’s so mean! Of course we’re friends.” She pouts at him. “And anyway I’m... not going to tell anyone about your feelings. I think it’s cute.”

“Cute?!”

“That he’s your rival but you like him!”

He blushed deeper shades of red before looking away.

“It’s not cute. It’s fucking pathetic.”

“That’s not true.” She says and pats his hand. “I saw your notes.”

“What?” She had been helping him pick up papers. She must have seen them then. “You... you saw that?”

“Well... not on purpose. But...” She’d seen his cute drawings of Munakata on them. Most were horribly illegibile or smudged. But a few were clearly figures meant to represent himself and Munakata. 

“Don’t... You... You better not tell. I’m serious. I won’t go easy on you just because you’re a girl.”

“I said it’s okay. You can relax. Munakata is... very hard to read. I don’t know if he likes girls... or.... boys, or if he likes boys like you, but...”

“It’s not what you think!” He said, louder than necessary. The blush continued. “I... admire him. But... that’s all.”

“Sakakura...”

“You know as well as I do... that... I can’t. So if admiring him and helping him achieve his hope is all I can do for him, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“You should hope for more.”

“Are you stupid? There’s no way.”

“Aren’t you an athlete? Should you really be giving up without a fight? You don’t even know how he feels.”

“I thought... Weren’t you interested in him?”

“W-Well... Maybe. But... I want Munakata to be happy. I... want him to live a happy life. I don’t care if it’s not with me.” She said simply and then began to backtrack. “Or, rather, I do care and I’d prefer it be me but... I’m... Yeah.”

He took a deep breath and leaned against a wall.

“Being rivals with a girl for a guy’s affection... is pathetic.”

“Look on the bright side. There are probably lots of girls that like Munakata.”

“...”

“And maybe some boys.”

“Please, stop helping.”

“And of course Sakakura has his own fans, although I don’t know how many guys here-”

“I said stop, you weirdo!”

“What? I’m just trying to help you find someone who plays for your team.”

"I'm a boxer. I don't have teammates, remember?" He grins at her smugly as she pouts. 

"...He looks good in white pants did you see his butt?"

"I... Well... yeah."

Sakakura looks away blushing. Of course he had to look.

"I know, right?!"

How _do_ you gay? Probably not like this.


	2. Falling Without a Place to Land

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to call this "SHSL Worrywart" but then I decided if I put "SHSL" next to all the titles that would get maybe a bit too annoying? I don't know? Am I second guessing myself? Is that today's theme?
> 
> Probably best read the way it was written, listening to Recall the End music box version on repeat :D

Munakata promptly calls the two of them to his dorm room (leaving the door open because Chisa is there), and the three of them spent hours listening to Munakata's speech ideas and rewrites. The final product is mostly produced exclusively by Munakata himself, with Sakakura and Yukizome adding small changes to word choice or how best to make the speech flow.

As anyone would expect from the Class President, the result is exemplary and even leaves Sakakura a little inspired to make the world a better place. He actually can't recall what the speech is supposed to be about, though.

Even though he's doing great work, Sakakura finds out that Munakata is driven to perfectionism in a way that isn't always healthy. He's got two different demeanors, one where he is always confident in whatever he does, and a smaller doubtful side of himself that tells him he can do better. 

It's comforting to know that even the greats feel that way, but it pains him to see Munakata so unsure of himself as he analyzes his speech four more times to check for mistakes or things he's overlooked.

"Munakata, it's getting late. You should go to bed." Yukizome says with a smile. "Tomorrow comes bright and early."

"It's past midnight, tomorrow already came." Sakakura says eager to pop her enthusiasm, even though she subtly stomps on his foot, harder than he'd have anticipated. He can only stand there in silent pain.

"What? I didn't hear you?" She says even more sugary than before.

"There's more work that needs to be done." Munakata says simply. "I can't sleep yet."

"Huh? Come on. That speech is perfect. You're working too hard." Yukizome reaches out and effortlessly grabs his arm. "Have confidence in yourself."

"Yukizome's right. I'm no expert, but that thing's flawless."

"See? And Sakakura's probably never even been to a speech before!"

"...That's rude." And true.

"I want it to go well."

"It will, it will." She says with a chipper attitude. "But you need to sleep, too. You're only human."

"..." It's clear there's too much nervous energy in him.

"Here, come here. I'll show you a trick."

She says as she pushes Munakata down into a chair. Apparently she knows some way to calm him down to let him sleep.

"Okay. Just think about all the things that make it hard to sleep. Okay?" Yukizome says with her normal smile.

"Isn't that the kind of thing that keeps you up at night?" Sakakura raises an eyebrow.

"Ssh. I'm working."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Keep thinking of all the things that might happen or might go wrong. Are you ready?"

Munakata seems almost more distressed being asked to think about it, but then finally nods. "I'm ready."

"Okay." She says before she leans in and kisses Munakata on the forehead. Munakata's reaction is one of surprise, turning softly pink. Even Sakakura is surprised. This woman is dangerous! "And... Done!"

"Done...?"

"You just transferred 50% of your fear over to me. It's my magic spell." She says triumphantly. "Now you'll feel better. Because I'm here supporting you. So keep that in your mind."

Sakakura is stunned. It was such a bold play but it was executed so well. Even Munakata seems a bit relieved, even if the 'magic spell' is all BS in the end.

"Thank you, Yukizome."

Yukizome and Sakakura leave for the night, closing the door behind them.

"He's really worried, isn't he." Sakakura says to Yukizome as he escorts her back to her dormitory.

"That's the kind of person Munakata is. He has big dreams, but he's afraid he won't have what it takes to fulfill them."

"For someone so good at inspiring others, you'd think he'd be good at inspiring himself."

"That's not how it works." Yukizome shakes her head. "The way Munakata is... He worries about everything. And when you try to worry about him instead he... He'll push us away. I think he has strict parents. Or, maybe it's just because he's Class President. Everything's his responsibility. So everything's his fault."

"What a complicated guy."

"That's why I want to help him." She says looking up to Sakakura. "You feel the same way, don't you?"

"Well... Yeah." He says, blushing softly.

"That's why I don't care if it's you or me who get him in the end. Or someone else entirely. I want it to be one of us, ideally. But..." She can't help but smile. "I want him to live a happy life."

"You really are a scary opponent." He says jokingly before giving her a slap on the back that nearly knocks her on her face.

"Ow!"

"A-Ah... Sorry."

~ ~ ~

Sakakura sighs to himself as he pulls his shirt off and gets ready for bed.

The idea of Munakata struggling like that... It makes him wish he could do more.

Stopping to look up pictures of Munakata, he analyzes them, trying to see if he can see any of the same stress on his face. Had he been shouldering everything alone all this time?

There's an overwhelming urge he has to make things easier for him. To protect him. To show him he can relax and the world won't fall apart without him at the helm.

He sighs, shutting off his computer and going to bed.

Some time around three in the morning, his phone goes off which awakens him abruptly. He shoots up from his bed, instantly grumpy and tired of everyone's shit. Fumbling for his phone he sees it's from Munakata. Even though he's happy to hear from him, he can't get his personality to turn on so he answers maybe too abruptly.

"Yeah? What?"

"Sakakura."

"Yeah. What's up...? It's..." He looks at the clock. "Fuck, shouldn't you be asleep?"

"...I can't."

"Huh?"

"I... Could you come to my room and help me with the speech more?"

"...We edited that thing to hell and back, what's wrong with it?"

"...Please come over. I can't invite Yukizome because... Well, it's late and she's a girl so... Goodbye."

Sakakura grumbles and rubs his face. He'll never get to bed again at this point. But, Munakata does need him. He decides he doesn't care about his own sleep.

Tossing on a sleeveless shirt, he leaves the dorm and walks over to Munakata's.

"Hey. It's me..." He says after a curt knock.

"Thank you for coming."

"Well, you sounded bad." He said honestly before getting a good look at Munakata. The man looks like he's been in need of a good night's sleep for a while. "Don't you ever sleep?"

"...The flow is off."

"Huh?"

"On the speech. It... I don't think it flows right."

"You said it was fine a couple hours ago. Go to bed. Leave it alone."

"But..."

Okay, this was going nowhere. He grumbles before he pulls Munakata aside and has him sit on the bed. In a rough motion, he sits next to him.

"What's your deal?"

"I... What?"

"It's just a speech. One speech. You don't have to work this hard for something people are probably going to forget." Nope, that sounded wrong. "I... I mean, it's not like it's a graduation speech or anything. It... You don't need to worry, this is a cakewalk for you!"

Munakata gives a weary sigh.

"...This is supposed to be what I'm good at."

"You are good at it. Have a little confidence. Where's the guy who went on and on preaching to me about talent not being everything and 'there's hope for you', blah blah blah..."

Munakata gives a small sad smile. "I've never been good at relaxing."

"Shocking."

"I want this to go well. I want to do well. This is... a stepping stone for my hope."

"And what? It needs to be perfect or you'll never get there?"

"..."

"Come on, there must've been a time when you were shit at speeches."

"Not... Not really. People always say they like my speeches. Even if I don't. I can't connect to them the way that... the way you all do."

"You're way too hard on yourself. What's the worst that's going to happen?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, come on. I know your type, the Super High School Level Worrywart." He says jokingly which almost makes Munakata smile, so that's something. "Seriously. Tell me. How does that crazy brain of yours work? Say you mess up the speech tomorrow. Epic failure. What happens?"

"...I..." Munakata pauses before looking away. "Then I always remember I failed."

"Then what happens?"

"...All my speeches fail."

"And then?"

"They tell me I can't stay here at Hope's Peak?"

"And then what?"

"...Then I can't bring my future of hope to fruition."

"And?"

"The world falls into despair."

"..." Sakakura actually starts laughing at him, loudly and continously which actually makes Munakata blush with embarrassment before Sakakura gives him a hard slap on the back. "That's some ego you've got, thinking you're going to destroy the world with one failed speech! Seriously, that's what you think's gonna happen? You're gonna fail one speech and get kicked out?"

"I... I didn't say it was rational thinking. But people are counting on me."

"So what? Doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up to do it. You're doing just fine!"

"It's easy for you to say that."

"What? You think I don't worry about things like that? Like, 'Am I gonna lose this match? Do I mess up my career here? Will I get kicked out if I lose the match?' ...things like that? I think them all the time but that doesn't mean they're a reality."

"I _do_ know that."

"Besides, if you were ever in danger of failing out they'd tell you. And me and Yukizome would absolutely get involved. You're not alone, you know."

"..." Munakata is quiet before finally nodding. "Right."

"Say it." Sakakura shoves him lightly.

"I'm not alone."

"And keep saying it when you freak out. You're not alone."

"...Thank you."

"You brainy types are all the same. You're all smart but then you're so smart you get stupid again." Sakakura smiles, watching Munakata start to chuckle.

"Maybe you're right."

"You can't see the trees cuz of the forest."

"Uh... Well..." Munakata pauses. "It should be the other way around. 'Can't see the forest for the trees'..."

"Whatever, it's fine. Feeling better?"

"...A little. Yes."

There's a momentary idea that flashes in his mind. No. He... Can't do that. That would be... Well, if it worked for her. Still... He can see how tired Munakata is.

"Come here."

"What?"

He has Munakata turn and face him. There's a small smile on Sakakura's face. Even if it's not really an honest expression of how he feels, it... at least it's something.

He swears he can hear his heart thundering away before he leans in and kisses Munakata's forehead. Holding it maybe a bit longer than he should, he finally pulls away.

"...See, I took away 50% of your fear or... Whatever. Now you've got none left." He says blushing and looking away. "Like I said, you're not alone. Yukizome's here for you. I'm here for you. I'm... not letting you shoulder this all by yourself."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do, I just said it didn't I? Just... Do your best, it's fine. Even if you mess up, we're here for you. I'm... I'm here for you."

"...Thank you. It makes me feel better to know you two have my back."

"Is that it?" Sakakura gives a smirk. "You're not going to talk about a world of hope? Who even are you?"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"You woke up me up at three in the morning, I get to be mean."

"...I'll let you get back to sleep."

"It's not a problem. I was only teasing." He says before standing up. "Get some sleep or I'll beat you up."

"I very much doubt you could."

"Don't test me, Prez. You still owe me a rematch." He says giving an ominous flex of his muscles before leaving the room.

Munakata chuckles to himself and takes a deep breath. It really is late. He should get some sleep.

Once back at his place, he takes his shirt off again and gets ready for bed. He can't help but smile to himself, blushing about the kiss. Even if Munakata didn't really get the same thing out of it, he was able to help him. And kiss his forehead.

Oh, God. He'd kissed him. Sort of. Technically.

"I... I did it." He whispers to himself before triumphantly raising his fist. "I did it!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's no surprise that Munakata's speech is absolutely flawless. Even better than when they'd practiced. He ends up receiving several compliments on it, and more than a few people join in a standing ovation.
> 
> After it's all over, Yukizome and Sakakura look dead on their feet.
> 
> "...You didn't sleep either?" She says looking to him.
> 
> "Not well." After the call at three from Munakata, he'd had a hard time calming down.
> 
> Munakata somehow looks bright and fresh despite it all.
> 
> "I think my spell worked too much." Yukizome says sighing. "I was so anxious for him it was difficult to settle down in the end."
> 
> "Yeah, same here. But I'm glad the spell let me calm him down more. Even if it is stupid."
> 
> "My spell is not stupid! Wait... What do you mean _you_ calmed him down...?"
> 
> "Uh..." Sakakura begins to turn red.
> 
> "You... You stole my move...!"
> 
> "Not on purpose! ...Not... all on purpose."
> 
> Before they can begin to bicker, two girls in front of them start talking.
> 
> "Oh, my God I just want today to be over so I can go back to sleep..."
> 
> "Saaaame."
> 
> "Some assclown in my dorm started screaming at like three-something in the morning all, 'I did it, I did it!' like calm down there, buddy... Just grab a tissue and keep it to yourself."
> 
> "Ewwww!"
> 
> Sakakura dies a little on the inside.


	3. More Than Words Can Say

Even though it was technically spring, it was still chilly around the campus. Munakata was finishing things up for student council meetings as he collected his papers. The windows were open to let the breeze in and he could hear some of the students passing by.

The room they'd been in was on the second floor.

After a moment, he can hear two voices much closer this time.

"Thank you for coming to meet me." A nervous feminine voice says.

"...Yeah. It's fine."

Munakata stops. He knows Sakakura's voice when he hears it. Although it's wrong to eavesdrop, he doesn't move away to not hear them speaking.

"I know... I know we don't talk very much but... I really admire you, Sakakura."

"Huh?"

"I've been to all of your matches! I... I keep up with everything you do. That's why it made me happy to find out you were also coming to Hope's Peak."

"O-Oh. Well... Thank you. I didn't know I had fans."

Munakata smiles. Sakakura has never been one to take compliments well. He usually gets flustered or avoids them entirely.

"Of course you have fans! It... It made me happy that you would be here. I'd get the chance to meet you and... and to give you this!"

"Give me what?" There's a beat and Sakakura must have taken something from the girl. "This..."

"I would have left it in your locker but... I... I wanted to give it to you face to face. I need to be more courageous and put myself out there. You're a Super High School Level just like I am, after all. So... Please read it."

There's what seems to be another tense seconds as Sakakura must be reading whatever she's given him.

"You... You're not serious..."

"I am! I... Ever since I saw you at your first match, I've... I've loved you since then! That's why I wanted to meet you. And... to ask you to be my boyfriend. Please! I know there must be plenty of girls you can choose from, but I know I can make you happy!"

Munakata admires the girl. She's braver than most. And she knows what she wants. He finds himself rooting for her, but he also isn't sure of how Sakakura is reacting.

"I... Listen..." There's another tense second or two. "I'm sorry. I'm... I can't date you."

"H-Huh?"

"I'm... not right for you. You deserve someone who can make you happy too... And I... couldn't. I'm sorry."

Oh, no. Poor girl. Munakata feels bad for her.

"Is... Is there someone else?"

"...Yes."

"Is she... prettier than me? Is that it? Do you like prettier girls? Skinnier ones? I could... I could dye my hair or... or lose weight for you, I know that I could."

"What? N-No! That's... Don't do that."

"Am I too forceful? Did... Did I frighten you?"

"L-Like I said, it's not that. It's not got anything to do with you! I..." Sakakura is fumbling for the right words, trying not to break this girl's heart but he's failing badly. "I... I think I like someone else is all. And so... It's not... what you have or don't have, you're... I can't be with a girl like you. W-Wait. I... I can't make a girl happy. Or... Is... No."

"..."

"Please, don't cry. I'm... I'm not the man you need in your life. And I definitely don't want you to change on my account either!" He's still fumbling with his words. Munakata can almost see him in his mind, frowning and trying to make his way through it. "The person I like... They're... also someone I can't have. I sympathize. But, I know... I know I can't make you happy."

There's the sound of muffled sobs and then they become more distant.

"W-Wait, don't run off! I'm... Fuck..." He hears Sakakura swear before he hears a dull thud, like a fist hitting brick. "God... damn it. Fuck..."

~ ~ ~

When he next sees Sakakura, he's sitting by Yukizome at lunch who waves Munakata down to come sit with them.

Sakakura is gloomy, but that's to be expected.

"Hi, Munakata!" Yukizome says with a smile.

"...Hey."

"Hello." He says sitting down. His attention is drawn to Sakakura who sits there, staring down contemplating the plastic table intently. "...Sakakura, are you alright?"

"...I made a girl cry today."

"What? That's mean! Why would you do that?" Yukizome says, taking food from her plate to offer to Munakata.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" He says loudly which makes Yukizome jump, and even students at the other table turn around to see what the noise is. Sakakura quickly retreats in on himself, lowering his voice. "...One of the girls asked me out."

"You turned her down?" She asks knowingly. "Well, better that than hurt her feelings if you can't be with her."

"...I didn't want to hurt her. But..."

"I think you did the right thing." Munakata says smiling and pats Sakakura's arm from across the table, who nearly recoils back violently. "It's better to be honest about how you feel."

"Yeah, be honest." Yukizome parrots.

"...Y-Yeah. But..." Sakakura looks down. "I knew how she felt."

"Huh?"

"She wanted me to date her, but I let her down."

"It's not her fault you're not interested. Or yours, for that matter."

"Yeah, but it... It sucks to want someone who can't... who won't..."

"Sakakura..." Yukizome says rubbing his back. "It's okay. This too shall pass."

"I wanted her to be happy... I... also want to be happy myself. You know?" It isn't like Sakakura to be so open, or maybe it's because he trusts them. "It hurt because she at least had the courage to say something. And I..."

"Who is it that Sakakura likes?" Munakata says it so bluntly that he can see the shock on both of his friends' faces.

"U-Uh... Well, I don't know for sure..." Yukizome's voice catches as she goes.

"It's a secret." Sakakura says, glumly.

"...A-All I know for sure is that... the one Sakakura likes is in the student council." Yukizome is vague but it seems to set Sakakura off.

"Yukizome!"

"...And that they're a really good-looking and smart person. That's Sakakura's type."

"Stop. Helping." He says looking at her dangerously.

"Smart, good-looking and in the student council...?"

Munakata reaches up and grips Sakakura's arm, who flushes brightly and looks on the verge of actually being happy. Yukizome looks elated.

_He gets it!_

"If you'd like, I could introduce you to her. I know everyone on the student council!"

Sakakura and Yukizome's facial expressions both drop.

_Nope... He really doesn't get it..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sakakura sits at his writing desk. He's never been the best at writing, or even penmanship but... maybe if he couldn't say the words out loud, he say them, at least to himself.
> 
> And if he did share it with Munakata, there was no reason he had to put his name on it... Maybe it would be okay if Munakata knew someone out there cared for him...?
> 
>  
> 
> \- - -
> 
> Munakata has no despairdar or gaydar. Good luck, Sakakura.


	4. My Heart's a Battleground

Sakakura sighs loudly at his writing desk. He wishes words would come more easily to him. His floor and garbage are full of crumpled up papers. It's been months now since the girl confessed to him, but he still can't seem to get his own letter right. In his spare time, he tries to think of things to write down, but his project never comes out quite right.

Spending his days with Yukizome and Munakata is fun though. Sakakura's been able to make some sportier friends to train with, and every so often, he's able to go a few rounds with Munakata in the ring. Of course, if it were hand-to-hand, he's sure he'd be able to beat Munakata... but their fighting styles make it hard to have an even fight. Most days, Sakakura swings and Munakata dodges or vice versa to practice timing.

He'd thought his feelings might have abated since then, but they've only grown more intense. 

The way Munakata acts. The way he looks. The way he smiles. All of his talk of hope and his dreams and ambition are much more captivating than his looks, but... whenever Munakata pulls his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face, he can't help but stare and admire.

The writing, however... is terrible. Even Yukizome tries to help him, but it's no good. Her way of speaking is just too bubbly for him. But Yukizome shows her love and affection in ways he can't, by cooking meals and offering to help Munakata in other ways. In some ways, she's further along than he is. She knows him, and can anticipate his needs and mood. Her calming presence is just... leagues away from his own.

All he can do is punch people, he thinks with a sad chuckle. Maybe the President needs a bodyguard? When he puts his thoughts down onto paper, they just sound so depressing.

Just when he thinks he has a rhythm, he has an uncanny ability to mess up a word and feel like he has to start over. After many attempts, he's able to piece something coherent together, writing each word as carefully and neatly as he can.

_Munakata Kyosuke,_

_The day we met is one that I can't forget. When I heard you speak about your hope, I think I truly understood what hope was supposed to be. Moving forward towards a better goal, that's what it is, right?_

_When we talk, it makes me happy. I knew what it must have meant, but I was afraid to admit it to myself. And I definitely wouldn't want to admit it to you. I couldn't handle it if you looked at me with disgust. I don't want that. What I do want is for you to be happy._

_So many times I think to myself, 'I want him to be happy. And I want to make him happy.'_

~ ~ ~

Sakakura moves to place the letter in Munakata's locker. It's later than he expected it to be, but people are still coming back and forth from club meetings. It would be easy enough to slip his love letter - which he is embarrassed to think of it as such - into his shoe locker and hopefully that would be enough.

When he gets closer to the lockers, he can see Munakata is still there.

"Shit..." He mumbles. He won't be able to drop it off this way.

At first glance it looks like Munakata is speaking with a group of other students, boys. It's hard to tell exactly what's going on, but he recognizes that they have Munakata's bag.

It would be easier to understand if Munakata weren't the same as always, cold and unmoving.

"Please, give me my bag back."

He hears Munakata say.

As if to mock him, they all begin to laugh. Anger flares up in him. He can see where this is going, and there's no way he's going to let it happen.

~ ~ ~

_You always talk about the future like it's something obvious. I never used to see a future, not the way you do. Not the same goals you have. Before, my life was about moving forward to get to some place that made sense._

_And now I can only see your way of thinking as being the right one. Mine seems so sad by comparison. Would I have lived that way if I hadn't met you? Doing what I do because I don't think there's another option? Forever? The day we met was when I first really understood hope._

_And then I thought about you. Who is with you in this hope? The thought of you not having someone there to make you happy... I couldn't bear it._

~ ~ ~

Sakakura slips his letter in the pocket of his jacket before marching with purpose towards the group.

The person with Munakata's bag tips it upside down with laughter. All of Munakata's books, papers, and assorted pencils and other belongings spill across the floor.

The boy holding his back begins to laugh but is cut off immediately by Sakakura's fist that sends him and another boy sprawling back onto the floor.

"...the fuck?!"

"Aren't you upperclassmen? Isn't this just a little too pathetic for people like you?"

"Wh-What the?"

"It's Sakakura... The boxer..."

"You think it's funny to pick on people younger than you?" Sakakura says readying a boxer stance. "You've got a lot of nerve picking on the Student Council President of all people. Why don't you try it with me."

"Sakakura." Munakata speaks his name almost like an order. "You cannot fight in school."

"Weren't these pieces of shit bullying you?"

"That is not the problem now, Sakakura."

"Oh, but it is. I don't appreciate people picking on others just because they won't fight back. And I definitely won't let people pick on my friends."

Punches are thrown but Sakakura has trained for this. The upperclassmen are no real fighters, not professionally anyway. He punches one so hard their nose erupts in blood.

"Stop it! That's enough." Munakata says taking a hold of Sakakura's arm. "Fighting is against the rules."

"You're seriously just going to sit here and take their shit?!"

"What they say or do isn't important. You're violating school rules."

While Sakakura is distracted, one of the downed upperclassmen gets up and rushes forward. He's punched in the face. It's not more painful than other times he's been punched in the face, but it is disorienting to have his vision suddenly blurred.

Munakata lets go of Sakakura's arm, aghast as Sakakura stumbles backwards, blood now pouring from his nose.

"Well..." Sakakura says, wiping blood with the back of his forearm, leaving a bloody smear. "Congratulations. You got a free hit. Let me return the favor!"

Another rocketing punch sends the upperclassman right into the lockers, which make a loud metal clanging noise and almost tip over. The next one receives a haymaker punch that KOs him instantly. A final punch to the solar plexus of a third student sends him sprawling back before vomitting all over the floor and collapsing to his knees.

As Sakakura moves forward to deal with the rest, Munakata stands in front of him defiantly, standing on his own papers to do it. He stretches out his arms to block him.

~ ~ ~

_When you look at me like that with so much confidence, how can I not be moved?_

_When you say there's a place for people like me, how can I not want to go there with you?_

_The way you are... I love everything about it. You always make me happy. Even when we argue over things, or when I can see you struggling with something. It makes me happy to think of you happy._

_I hope one day I can find the courage to tell you these things in person. But... The person that I am right now is weak. I'm afraid. I'm lonely. I don't know how to look you in the eyes and tell you the important things I think about telling you._

_I want to be strong like you are._

~ ~ ~

"What the fuck are you doing?!" He says, roaring at Munakata who stands firmly in his way.

"That's enough, Sakakura. Stop."

The other boys begin to run, leaving their downed friends there.

"You're just going to let them get away with that? After what they were doing?"

"Yes. I am."

"Why?!" Sakakura hasn't noticed that his knuckles are bleeding. He'd been given a fight bite; hitting someone in the face but also having their teeth scrape his fist.

He lifts Munakata by the collar, almost to tiptoe. He's bleeding onto Munakata's nice clean shirt.

"Because what you're doing is wrong."

"They were bullying you!"

"Yes, and they'll be punished for that, but you can't go around hitting other students like that!" Munakata raises his voice to match Sakakura's. "You'll get in trouble."

"You were just going to let them bully you? Just let them disrespect you? Your stuff?" He says fully aware he's crunching one of Munakata's pencils underfoot. There's some muffled groans and sobs from the upperclassmen. "Don't you have any backbone at all?!"

"What they do doesn't matter. I'm not going to let childish pranks ruin my day."

"Don't you care at all? About what they were doing to you? Doesn't it bother you?" He says, his anger coming from some darkness deep within him. It starts to become clear he's not talking about Munakata anymore, but if he's noticed, Munakata isn't saying. "Doesn't the idea of being teased, or made fun of, or harassed bother you? You'd be... made fun of to your face, or behind your back? Rumors about you? People trashing your stuff? Doesn't it bother you at all?!"

"No, it doesn't. I don't care what people think or say about me."

"Well, I do!!" He sees Munakata flinch when he yells. He can see his knuckles are leaving little blooddrops on his clothes and lets go, suddenly bright red and breathing hard. "...I do. If it were me, I'd... I'd... And... I don't want you to have to deal with it alone."

Sakakura's words have gotten softer now. Almost apologetically, he inclines his head.

"You don't need to worry about me, Sakakura. I'm strong. I'll be alright."

The words crush him inside. He wishes he could be that confident. Where does that courage come from?

"...You're such an idiot. Like... Like there's any way I couldn't worry about you. You just don't get it. You never have."

"Sakakura?"

"Munakata..." He sighs loudly. "I mean... Kyosuke. The truth is... I want you to be happy. No matter what."

~ ~ ~

_I wish I could sign this and tell you how I really feel. And we could talk about it together, you and me. But I'm not strong enough yet._

_I want you to be proud of me. I'm afraid that if I told you, I'd make things worse. Not just the friendship we already have, but you. I'd make it all worse for you._

_I want to be stronger. I want to be able to look you in the eyes someday and tell you this._

_I love you._

_I want to be brave enough to look you right in the eyes and say that. I want to be brave enough to not care what kind of face you make, or what you might say in reply. But it still hurts to think of you knowing and pushing me aside. I don't want to be abandoned by you. I couldn't deal with that at all._

_So for now... Let this be enough._

_There's someone out there who loves you. And it's me. And I always have._

_I'm so happy that I met you._

_-A friend with a secret_

~ ~ ~

The two of them sit outside of the Headmaster's office.

It was inevitable, he supposes. Of course it would come to this. There was no way a fight breaking out in school would go unnoticed. And even with Munakata's backing, Sakakura still was an aggressor in the whole thing.

He sighs loudly while Yukizome fusses over him.

It isn't quite a black eye he's got, but there definitely is some bruising. Yukizome continues to dab an ice pack on his face. He winces and pulls back.

There's still blood from his nose that he wipes on his forearm every so often. At Munakata's behest, they reported to Headmaster Tengan first rather than let it blow up from there.

Part of his forearm is caked in dried blood.

"Does it still hurt?" She asks, concerned.

"I'm fine." Which is a yes.

Sakakura hated that he was being doted on by these two. Munakata had called the meeting with Tengan and even went as far as to talk to him about it. He couldn't stop himself from feeling useless as they decided his fate.

"Thank you for protecting him." She says with a small smile. "No matter what Munakata says, he needs people to look out for him."

"I really fucked it up."

"No one's called the police, so it's not as bad as all of that."

"...Yeah. There's that."

"Munakata won't abandon you." She says in that way that makes him feel like she can read his mind. "He's fighting for you right now. Believe in him."

"...They were being mean to him. And I... lost it."

"Well, of course you did. That's what happens when people mistreat the ones we love." Sakakura blushes, but doesn't say anything. "If I were there, I would've been mad too."

"But would you have started a brawl and broken a kid's nose?"

"...That depends, am I armed in this scenario?"

"Armed with what?!"

The door opens and there's Munakata and Tengan.

Munakata looks a bit glum, but it's nothing too terrible... Although Munakata does have a great poker face. He's still got some bloodstains on his shirt from Sakakura. He'll have to offer to wash those for him later. It's the least he could do.

Tengan approaches and it's hard to read the man's mood. He's been a fair man in the past, but violence is something different from a normal prank or school issue.

"Are you alright, Sakakura? Do you need medical attention?" He asks with sincerity.

"...No, sir. I'm... I'm fine."

"Ordinarily, when the Super High School Level Boxer is involved in a scuffle, one expects some degree of bloodshed. But it is still unaccpetable to fight on school grounds."

"I know, sir."

"Munakata tells me you were doing it to protect him. The upperclassmen in question will also be dealt with, but one is in the hospital now. You must understand my position."

"...Yes, sir."

"There is nothing more beautiful than friends who protect others. Friends that will never leave you. But... Was there no way to resolve things without violence."

It's a reasonable question. Sakakura sighs.

"...I threw the first punch. It's my fault."

"I see. Bullying is unacceptable, but violence is also unacceptable. I cannot condemn one and praise another."

"...Am... Am I expelled?" Sakakura feels the words clench in his throat. 

From the look on Yukizome and Munakata's faces, they hadn't expected that was an option.

"Ordinarily, yes. You would be expelled."

"Headmaster. Please. This is my fault. I take full responsibility. If you must punish someone, punish me instead. Sakakura is..." Munakata looks to him. "...Sakakura was trying to help me."

"Young man, you are too hasty. The Super High School Level Class President should be more calm and measured, is that not so?"

"..."

"Ordinarily, you would be expelled. However. Given the circumstances, I can afford to be lenient. To a degree."

"..." Sakakura nods, unable to stop the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes.

"You will be suspended from school for two weeks. You may live in the dormitories, I wouldn't send you home. But I would also like you to apologize to the boys you hurt, and visit the one in the hospital. He may not accept your apology, but you did hurt him."

"...Yes, sir. I... I'll do that."

"Furthermore, I would like you to help Yukizome with her cleaning duties. She was so eager to help when she heard you had been injured. She cleaned up the entire foyer after the scuffle. Given that you get along so well, I can't see it as too much of a punishment."

"I'll do that too."

"Good." Tengan sees Sakakura cannot face him, or look up. Instead, he pats the young man on the head. "Cheer up, young man. If this is the worst thing to ever happen to you in your life, you should consider yourself quite lucky indeed."

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"And I believe you. Do not make a habit of it, though. Now, please go home and wash your face."

"Yes, sir."

Sakakura immediately stands up and begins to leave. Yukizome moves to go after him with the ice pack but stops. She feels it isn't her place to get involved, and there isn't really anything else she can say.

Munakata watches him leave, worry playing across his face.

"Munakata, although it may not be a thing I should say as Headmaster... You are lucky to have a friend like Sakakura. Many people have friends who come and go. But a friend who would help you in any situation...? Let him know that you appreciate him, won't you?"

"...Yes, sir. And thank you."

Sakakura makes it to the entrance with the shoe lockers. Just as Tengan said, Yukizome's cleaned everything up so well it's impossible to tell there had ever been a fight at all.

Sniffling, he pulls his letter out of his jacket pocket. Looking around first and seeing no one, he slips it into Munakata's locker and leaves.

He can already see he's got missed messages from Yukizome, and even one from Munakata. But right now, he can't bear to look at them. He hopes they'll understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the day finally ends, Munakata is exhausted by everything. Maybe he should have stood up for himself? But if he gave into every petty insult and gesture, he'd only be giving them the ability to hurt him. That's what he figures. It isn't that he minds defending himself, but...
> 
> He pushes the thought aside as he opens his locker. A letter falls out, and he quirks a brow.
> 
> It's not the first time he's been confessed to this way.
> 
> What catches him off guard is that the letter appears to have some kind of a bloody smear on it for some reason.


	5. The Walls I Built

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Munakata Kyosuke,_
> 
>  
> 
> _The day we met is one that I can't forget. When I heard you speak about your hope, I think I truly understood what hope was supposed to be. Moving forward towards a better goal, that's what it is, right?_
> 
> _When we talk, it makes me happy. I knew what it must have meant, but I was afraid to admit it to myself. And I definitely wouldn't want to admit it to you. I couldn't handle it if you looked at me with disgust. I don't want that. What I do want is for you to be happy._  
> 
> _So many times I think to myself, 'I want him to be happy. And I want to make him happy.'_
> 
> _You always talk about the future like it's something obvious. I never used to see a future, not the way you do. Not the same goals you have. Before, my life was about moving forward to get to some place that made sense._
> 
> _And now I can only see your way of thinking as being the right one. Mine seems so sad by comparison. Would I have lived that way if I hadn't met you? Doing what I do because I don't think there's another option? Forever? The day we met was when I first really understood hope._
> 
> _And then I thought about you. Who is with you in this hope? The thought of you not having someone there to make you happy... I couldn't bear it._
> 
> _When you look at me like that with so much confidence, how can I not be moved?_  
> 
> _When you say there's a place for people like me, how can I not want to go there with you?_
> 
> _The way you are... I love everything about it. You always make me happy. Even when we argue over things, or when I can see you struggling with something. It makes me happy to think of you happy._
> 
> _I hope one day I can find the courage to tell you these things in person. But... The person that I am right now is weak. I'm afraid. I'm lonely. I don't know how to look you in the eyes and tell you the important things I think about telling you._
> 
> _I want to be strong like you are._
> 
> _I wish I could sign this and tell you how I really feel. And we could talk about it together, you and me. But I'm not strong enough yet._
> 
> _I want you to be proud of me. I'm afraid that if I told you, I'd make things worse. Not just the friendship we already have, but you. I'd make it all worse for you._
> 
> _I want to be stronger. I want to be able to look you in the eyes someday and tell you this._  
> 
> _I love you._
> 
> _I want to be brave enough to look you right in the eyes and say that. I want to be brave enough to not care what kind of face you make, or what you might say in reply. But it still hurts to think of you knowing and pushing me aside. I don't want to be abandoned by you. I couldn't deal with that at all._  
> 
> _So for now... Let this be enough._
> 
> _There's someone out there who loves you. And it's me. And I always have._  
> 
> _I'm so happy that I met you._
> 
> _-A friend with a secret_

 

Munakata reads the letter for what must be the hundredth time by now. Yukizome sits beside him.

"You're reading it again?" She asks, with just a hint of jealousy. Sakakura really does know how to pull out the big guns when he wants to. Not to mention he already has big "guns". 

"Yes."

"You haven't figured out who gave it to you?"

"I'm not certain. It's someone who knows me but..." He fumbles, as if he something is nagging at the back of his mind. "I don't know."

"Really. No idea, then?"

"...Well..." Munakata sighs. "I... I'm not sure. There are girls who have confessed to me before, but they normally aren't friends. Sometimes they confess that they think I'm cool and want to date me, but I don't know the first thing about them. But, I've never had someone who knows me very well confess."

"...Well, just keep thinking of the people who know you, and I'm sure something will come to you eventually. But don't let your preconceived notions shape your conclusions."

"Huh?"

"You know. Don't assume. Just really focus on the words and everything, not your assumptions."

Yukizome shakes her head. There's something very frustrating about watching it unfurl before her slowly and awkwardly. But... She knows it really isn't her place to interfere, and she knows that Sakakura would resent her if she pushed him out of the closet like that.

This was something the idiots would have to figure out on their own.

~ ~ ~

Although Sakakura was still suspended, he was happy he had something to do by helping Yukizome clean up. They weren't the only ones, of course. Most students had to help out with cleaning at some point but everyone always came to Yukizome for guidance or questions.

Seeing her scrub floors to perfection as Sakakura mopped the stairwells was... kind of inspiring. She really was the Super High School Level Housekeeper.

Ordinarily, he wouldn't have really been allowed on school grounds but with classes being over, he assumed it was alright if Yukizome was there.

A group of students began to move towards where they were working, and immediately Sakakura - wearing a nice apron and with a cloth over his head to keep the dust out of his hair - stands to block them.

"Find another way." He says dangerously, mop in hand. "If you leave dirty footprints all over my nice clean floor... I will end you."

The students stare at him, and immediately run the other way.

As he turns around, he's smacked with the business end of a broom by Yukizome.

"What are you doing?!"

"What? I'm helping! They were going to mess up the floor!"

"Isn't threatening people exactly how you got into this mess? Do you _want_ to get expelled? How stupid are you?!"

"Are you two getting along...?" Munakata furrows a brow. "Some of the other students said there was..."

"Hi, Munakata!" Yukizome's disposition changes on a dime as she waves.

"Hello." He greets her before looking to Sakakura. "...It's good to see you."

"...Yeah. You too." Sakakura pulls off the headcloth and the apron and puts them aside to stretch. Mopping hurts his back, and probably because he doesn't listen to Yukizome on proper form.

"Hey, you should help Sakakura catch up on all the class stuff he's missing."

"Yukizome. Stop it."

"What? You're going to fall behind."

"I'm a boxer, I don't care about my grades."

"You know, that dumb jock stereotype is overrated. I bet you'd be more popular if you were an egghead too." She says teasingly. "Look at Munakata, he's got brains and brawn and so many people want him, right?"

"..." Sakakura glowers at her, and 'accidentally' splashes her with mop water when he turns the mop in her direction too fast. "Oops."

"Hey! That's mean!"

"I'm so very sorry."

"You don't sound sorry!"

"...It's really not like that." Munakata says after a pause. "Most of the people like the idea of me, but they don't really know me. The amount of people who really know me isn't more than..."

There seems to be a break in Munakata's thought processes. He seems to be doing calculations.

"...?" Sakakura watches his brain work like a gear that's rusty.

"The amount of people who know me..."

In truth, it was only just a handful. And of them, the most obvious answer would have been Yukizome. The student council did have girls on it, and some of them knew him quite well. But he couldn't picture any of them having sent the letter.

Or.

Wait.

Was it a girl who sent the letter?

Yukizome had said something about preconceived notions and assumptions. Why had he assumed that a girl had written him? Maybe it was the easy choice but... Could that mean a boy sent him a love letter? That had never happened to him before.

Thinking about it that way, the list of potential suspects was... somehow more feasible.

Yukizome watches with a mixture of anticipation and disappointment, moving to wipe down windows.

His eyes settle on Sakakura, who flinches under the harsh gaze of suspicion.

But Sakakura already liked someone, right? Or... A good-looking person who was smart... On the student council... And he couldn't make a girl happy...? Their talks of hope... The day they'd met... And the blood stain!

His eyes widen as his mind ricochets with information that was there and immediately apparent, before pointing at Sakakura dramatically.

"It was you!" He says, probably too loudly. Some of the other students stop to watch.

"..." Sakakura gives a confused look, a bit bashful that other people are staring.

"You..." He then points to Yukizome. "And you knew!"

"...Haha... Well... I mean, yeah. It was obvious, wasn't it?" Yukizome laughs nervously to herself. "I was trying to tell you but..."

"It's been you this entire time, Sakakura! You're the only one!"

The other students are noisy with speculation. They think he's accusing Sakakura of something, probably a crime considering he's already been suspended and put on cleaning duty.

"What's been me?! You're not making sense. I didn't do anything."

"You... You're my friend."

"...Yeah?"

"With a secret!"

"Hey, Munakata... Keep your voice down. People are staring." Yukizome frowns with disapproval.

The rest of the crowd seems confused by that, and continue to speculate.

Sakakura immediately seizes up, flushing brilliant violet-red. _He... He knows!_

"Why... Why did you keep it a secret...?" Munakata moves closer and that makes Sakakura back away. Yukizome rolls her eyes at these two idiots. "Did you really think I'd hate you...?"

"Shut up..."

"Sakakura. We're friends don't you-"

"I said shut up!" 

He can feel the other eyes on him. Are they... going to put it together too? Are they going to laugh at him...?

"Hey. Guys... Enough." Yukizome moves between them. "This isn't a good place."

Sakakura can hardly hear Munakata or Yukizome, whatever they're saying. His mind is seized by panic. There's a primal fear as he feels blood pounding in his head.

_He knows... He knows! He... He knows everything!_

The panic is so visible on his face that even Munakata is taken aback. When Yukizome turns around after presumably chiding Munakata, her face shifts into one of surprise as she moves closer to him.

_He knows... He could... tell everyone... He... I can't..._

"I can't... I can't... Not..."

"...Sakakura...?" Yukizome watches him plunge into panic. "Hey. Sakakura, look at me. Hey!"

She can barely finish before Sakakura bolts off in the opposite direction as fast as any athlete. She watches him disappear down the hallways at lightning speed.

"Look at what you did!" She says before turning angrily at Munakata, who's still frozen to the spot. "What were you thinking?!"

"I... just wanted to talk to him."

"Well, good job! Can't you just empathize with him a little?!"

"I... I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me! Go after him!"

"..."

"Sakakura is in pain, and you just made it that much worse. Do you really not understand that? Go after him!"

"...Sakakura."

Without even thinking, his legs begin to move, a slow walk into a full-on sprint. Sakakura is fast but... He... He hopes he can catch him!

~ ~ ~

Sakakura hasn't been subtle in his escape. Wherever he goes, he leaves a crowd of confused and terrified students so Munakata can quickly follow him.

Once Sakakura manages to make it outside, he stops, catching his breath and leaning against one of the buildings.

_He knows...!_

He doesn't realize he's being chased down until he sees Munakata rushing at him at full tilt.

Almost instantly, Sakakura runs in the opposite direction but the distance is much closer now. Confused students stop to marvel at the two boys who run past.

"Stop running!"

"Just leave me alone!"

No one really understands what's going on, but they're determined to keep up the sprint.

As the chase continues, Sakakura moves to run for the treeline, but doesn't make it very far before he nearly trips over a tree root. Munakata rushes right after him, but he actually does trip over the tree root, which sends him tumbling through the air and into Sakakura, as the two tumble down a slope and through the tangle of roots, vines, and leaves.

By the time the world stops spinning, Sakakura can tell he's got a gash on his leg, and is covered in dirt. Looking over, he can see Munakata's scraped up his arms pretty bad in the fall, and is also covered in dirt.

"Why... Why did you run...?!" Munakata breathes hard looking at him, before coughing, clearly winded.

"Be... Because you were chasing me!"

"Before that! Why... did you run away from me...? Back there..."

"Because..." Sakakura can feel blood dripping down his leg as he stands, shakily. "Because... You know... Don't you. You know about... about me..."

"I only just figured it out."

"So... So... What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you about it, of course! Isn't that what you want?!"

"...If... If you're going to hit me, or... beat me up... Just go ahead and do it. And... And leave me alone."

"That was never my intention."

"Then just ignore me and forget about me! I can't stand the way you're looking at me!"

"I'm just confused! And... a little hurt."

"Oh. You're hurt? You're the one who feels hurt here?" He moves over, shaking, realizing his pants have torn where he received the gash.

"Yes!"

"You nearly told the entire world! Didn't... didn't you see the crowd there? I thought you were... gonna... just wail on me in front of everyone or..." He shakes his head. His hair is a disaster, but Munakata's is too. "Shit, I dunno what I thought you were gonna do..."

"I... I'm sorry about that. I didn't think." Munakata says quietly. "But you not telling me yourself... hurts my feelings."

"I did tell you. In the letter."

"But you didn't tell _me_... Why... Why don't you think you can come to me about this?"

"Because I can't go to anyone!"

"You went to Yukizome!"

"She found out, I never told her! And... And I'm glad she knew. At least... At least one person knew."

"But we're friends. We're... supposed to be friends. What... What did I do... What did I say... that made you think I wouldn't accept you? Please... Tell me that... You were in so much pain, but you didn't think I would accept you. I must have done something to give you a reason to doubt me!"

"..."

Sakakura is stunned. He never anticipated Munakata would actually feel bad about that.

"...I didn't tell you because... because I haven't ever told anyone. And least of all someone I... you know."

"Love."

"Don't say it so casually!" He yells, and catches himself. "Why am I angry... Why am I always, always angry..."

"I'm sorry. I failed you, didn't I."

"No! I... failed you. I shouldn't have let myself..."

"You can't control that."

"I should have."

"Sakakura... I don't care about any of that. I don't care if you prefer men. Or if you have a crush on me. I only care that... I never saw your pain."

"Kyosuke..."

"You said you were happy to have met me. And that you wanted me to be happy. And I thought, 'this person must be in so much pain if they don't think they can tell me,' you know? I... I want to help. I wanted to make you... the writer feel better."

"..." Sakakura looks away solemnly. There's the sting of tears on his eyes. "I'm only ever making things worse."

"That's not true. You're my friend. You follow me because you believe in my vision of hope. But we're friends because we like each other. I always think about what a good person you are, and how brave you are for being able to stick up for things you believe in. Even protecting me because you love me-"

"That's not it. I... I stuck up for you because those guys were being assholes. I would've... I mean, I think I would've for anyone but you... You give up so much of your time and energy trying to make the world a better place and they go around and spit on you for it, and I just lost it. It bothers me to see them make fun of you just because they can. It... makes me so angry."

"I don't want you to get hurt on my behalf."

"You're trying so hard to get things done... It feels like I'm in the way, but I don't want you to go through this alone. I want you to be happy."

"I know. I read your letter. Many times."

"..." Sakakura turns scarlet at that. "...How... many times?"

"I didn't keep an exact count, but more than ten? It was very moving and I'm proud of you."

"..."

For some reason Munakata saying he's proud of him is more embarrassing than anything else.

"Let's go back. Together. There are still things I want to talk to you about but..."

"Yeah. You look like shit."

It's a joke that doesn't quite land, as Munakata self-consciously pulls leaves from his hair.

~ ~ ~

"..."

There are no words as Yukizome sees them come back towards the school building, covered in bloody gashes and dirt. Fortunately, there's no one else around to see them.

"...Did you really have to roll around and beat each other up?"

"We didn't beat each other up! This one-" Sakakura points squarely at Munakata. "-decided to tackle me!"

"...It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"..." If it were anyone else, it would have been an issue. For Munakata, though, Yukizome ignores it for the most part. "Forget it, just give me your clothes and I'll see if I can wash them..."

"I don't have my gym clothes." Sakakura says grumpily. He's suspended so he doesn't have them with him.

"I don't care, go around in your underwear. You're not my type." Yukizome says almost sharply as she looks at them.

"I'll... go and see if they have something in the lost and found for you." Munakata volunteers and leaves immediately. He doesn't notice he's bringing a cloud of dirt with him over the clean hallways.

"I... I'll clean that." Sakakura says shaking his head.

"It's fine. Really. Are you okay?"

"I'll live."

"You'd better."

The clothes that Munakata comes back with, a red checkered shirt, and sweat pants, are only just barely Sakakura's size; the pants are the worst because they're one size too wide but the length is almost right. As Yukizome goes to take care of their clothes, they wash up (separately) in the locker rooms.

Once all the leaves and grime is out of their hair, they look halfway presentable.

Sakakura seethes when Munakata tends to his leg with rubbing alcohol.

"So..." They'd been very quiet up until now, and it was starting to make Sakakura nervous. "What... did you want to know?"

"How long have you known?"

"That I liked you, or that I liked guys?" Even though they're alone, he still feels nervous discussing it, looking around the locker room for others as they sit on the bench. It's just them.

"Both."

"Uhh... Well... I... I like guys. And I thought I liked girls, maybe, but... I can never date them for too long. It gets really obvious that I don't want to be with them and girls get offended when you date them and don't want to touch them... You know?"

"...Not exactly, but I'll take your word for it."

"As for you... Umm... Well, probably after you kicked my ass." Munakata gives him a confused look. "Not like that, you pervert. I mean... After. When you... bent over to get your stuff and... I kind of liked watching."

"You were checking me out and I'm the pervert?" He says jokingly but it immediately puts Sakakura on the defensive. "I was joking. I'm sorry. I don't get to joke very often, I'm not good at it."

"But like... I just really wanted to do what you could do. I guess I was jealous, but also like... 'Damn, I want him too, I see why people like him'... or something."

It's Munakata's turn to be confused and embarrassed by that.

"Thank you. I... don't see it myself."

"I do. And it's there, trust me."

"Have you... had any experience?"

"...No." He says nervously. "Only with girls and... I guess only to a point. Guys are... harder."

"Yes, they do get hard."

"No, not like that!"

"It was a joke."

Kill me now, he thinks.

"I mean, I can't tell when guys are into me... If they are. I'm not good at judging that, and it's not like I can really date a guy."

"Why not?"

"You know why."

"It's not impossible."

"No offense, but you don't know what you're talking about. I do. I hear all the things people say... and know that they're really talking about me or people like me. I know what it's like to get called something nasty and realize deep down it's true. You don't."

"...You're right. I don't." Munakata admits, beginning to apply the bandage. "I don't have any experience at all. I'm sorry, I shouldn't discount what you're saying."

"If people found out... It'd be difficult for me. Not just here, but if the press found out? Managers, coaches, opponents... Not to mention all the shit they say online. I don't want that."

There's a comforting touch from Munakata.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't... want to be this way. I know that sounds stupid. But if I have to be this way, I don't want it to be the only thing about me... you know? I'm... I'm still the Super High School Level Boxer. I've won so many tournaments and matches and championships but... If anyone found out, they'd never talk about my achievements. The only thing they'd talk about is that I... like guys."

"Then I'll change the world."

"..."

"I mean it. My vision of hope has a place for you. If the world as it is makes you feel despair, or makes others like you feel despair... How can I not try to change it."

"...I wish you could. I hope you can, I mean. It..."

"We'll figure it out. Together."

Sakakura blushes and sighs, beginning to put iodine on Munakata's scratches which makes him jump.

"Sorry. I... I really didn't do that on purpose."

"I know."

"So... You have no experience?"

"Well, maybe not zero. But... little experience. People who ask me out don't know me. They like the idea of me, but most ...aside from you, really... haven't been my friends. When they ask me out, I can only think that they don't know me very well."

"But only girls."

"Only girls have asked me out, yes."

"And... do you like girls?"

"I do." Munakata speaks, and Sakakura nods, sadly. "...But, I can appreciate men too."

"Huh?" That last part stands out.

"...Men are easier to understand. And they look better in some ways. I also get to see men more often, which can be nice. I don't know what exactly that makes me, but a man doesn't disgust me. If that's what you want to know."

"...Maybe don't say that to someone like me."

"Why not? Does it give you hope?"

"What it gives me is..." There's a blush that hasn't really faded but it deepens now. Sakakura continues to dab at Munakata's arm before beginning to stick bandages on him. "...How are you so calm about it? What would... your parents say?"

"My parents don't care about me as a person. They want me to be successful. They wouldn't care at all, just be upset that it's not a clear path to success."

"Oh..."

Munakata spoke it so easily and so frankly, that it was almost too sad.

"I've been enrolled in martial arts classes, swordsmanship classes, speech classes, advanced tutoring... Since I was an infant, for all intents and purposes. Whatever I wanted, I could have but only if it was beneficial. They only care about their legacy. They only support my dream of hope because it will bring me fame. And the only reason they'd be upset about me dating anyone, even a man, is because it's not according to plan."

"...Shit... I'm... I'm sorry." He had expected it was something like that, though. Munakata was... harder to reach than most people.

"Your parents would care, I take it?"

"...I dunno. They... They don't even know me. They want an athlete they can brag about. They don't care what my grades are because I win all the time. They don't check in on me except to make sure I'm training. If I did anything to tarnish their family name... I bet it would be ugly. They don't know what I like, or who, or who my friends are... I came here to focus on my career and to live on my own. They... they only love me when it's convenient. Or, at least that's how it feels."

"...You're a good person, Sakakura."

"Shut up, don't be mushy."

"I mean it. You love unconditionally because you want to correct how you were raised. It's admirable."

"You're... giving me chills, cut it out."

"If something does happen... and your career doesn't work out... There will always be a place for you with me. I promise."

"...What, you're planning on building up a company? World domination?"

"Change."

"...Yeah, I don't get it. But if you need people punched, I'm your guy."

"Any man would be lucky to have you. And you are a handsome guy."

"...If you're coming onto me, it's weird."

"I'm only being honest. If I decide to experiment with men, I'll ask you first."

"...Definitely don't say things like that, it's really..." He finishes applying bandages, scowling with the prominent blush on his cheeks. "That's really not something to joke about."

"You don't want to kiss me then? I thought that's where this was going."

"Well... I... I mean... I've thought about it but..." Sakakura trails off, confused and unsure what Munakata is planning. "...You're joking aren't you."

"I was only half-joking." There's an impish smile.

"...How about I half-kick your ass?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have many people I can joke around with. But if you ask nicely, I will kiss you."

"Would you knock it off?!" He says blushing angrily at having his buttons pushed. He stands up, taking a lazy couple of swings at Munakata who can easily dodge them.

"...I can see your underwear."

Sakakura flushes, noticing the very wide pants have started to sag and droop. It's very difficult to look cool when you try to hold your pants up.

"Enjoy the show then, ass."

"It was alright. You can do better."

"Sh-Shut up! Quit making fun of me!"

"No."

Munakata smiles... 

But it's a shame Sakakura really didn't ask. He would have obliged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A summary:
> 
> Juzo: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, GAY THOUGHTS!  
> Kyosuke: meep meep, I sure can


	6. Listening to My Heartbeat

Once Sakakura's suspension was up, he was back... Just in time for a practical exam that was coming up.

Sakakura's priorities seemed a bit strange, asking Yukizome to help him with simple dessert recipes. Before she knew it, she was teaching him how to make meringues... And Munakata was there too.

"...I don't get why you want me to teach you this." She said as they powered on the mixer in the kitchen area. "You're not the Super High School Level Baker..."

"Sakakura likes sweet things?" Munakata suggests.

"Well. I mean. Yeah. I do. But that's not important now."

"Uh... Okay then."

"What are you planning to do for the practical exam?" Munakata asks.

"...Well, isn't that obvious?" Sakakura laughs and flexes a muscle. "I just have to beat down a champ, right?"

"You're going to fight a pro-boxer?"

"Sure am. If I win, who knows what it'll do for my career."

"...Yeah, but what if you lose?"

"I don't plan on losing."

"But you're not a pro yet!" Yukizome said with concern. "And if you lose... You... might have to leave."

"Don't worry, don't worry. You haven't seen me fight. But I'm good at it."

"I'll help you train if you want. Although..." Munakata volunteers. "I guess I could test your dodges I wouldn't want to actually fight you fist to fist."

"Thanks. I'll be helping you do... A speech, right?"

"It's more organizational. As the Student Council President I am in charge of dealing with the preparations. That too is my test. And there is a speech, but it's not as important as all of that."

"Well, I'll still help out if I can."

"What do you have to do, Yukizome?" Munakata is genuinely curious. He has no idea what a Housekeeper would have to do as a practical exam.

"I... basically do what you do, except I clean up before everything. And then after. I'm making my way through all the school buildings and tidying up."

The two boys stare at her, absolutely dumbfounded.

"What the shit, Yukizome... you mean this entire campus?!"

"I've been working on it for a while."

"Yeah, but I just get punched in the face for a couple hours and you have to clean everything?!"

"...Well, I've got help. I'm not doing it all by myself. And Sakakura got assigned to help me out too which is nice because I need someone with strong arms to mop everything."

"..." Somehow, now it sounds more like a punishment.

"Okay, so look." Yukizome turns off the mixer. "You whip the egg whites until they're stiff peaks like this. And then you - gently - fold in the sugar and vanilla."

She demonstrates it.

"Right."

"Just take your time." She says folding gently. "And if you aren't careful, you'll mess it up, so be gentle there."

"...You make it sound frightening."

"Only because you're too rough." She adds with an unkind smile. "If you deflate meringue, there's just no point."

"...So... Now what?"

"You put it into pastry bags and pipe it into shapes. Just do circles and fill them in."

"Wait, me?"

"You wanted to learn. It's only fair that you do it."

It's a messy disaster, but it's not as bad as it could be.

The meringues go into the oven, but Sakakura has it all over his hands and face. The man doesn't know how to work a pastry bag, Yukizome thinks. She should have taught him that... Oh well.

When Sakakura goes to wipe his face, he leaves a thin line of sticky white.

Immediately, Yukizome is seized with blushing and giggling trying not to look directly at him. Munakata also sees it, and though it takes a moment, he also laughs.

"...What? ...What?! What are you laughing at?" He can feel himself turning red though he doesn't know why.

"You... You've got..." She's doing her utmost not to die of laughter as the goopy meringue mixture sticks to his face and chin. "It... I feel like I just got a really good look at your romantic future...!!"

"What? The hell does that mean?!"

"...Oh. I get it." Munakata also begins to laugh harder. "At least... Sakakura... was good, right...? He... He got a surprise though..."

"Oh my God... Oh no. Don't... Don't say that... I can't..." Yukizome is shaking with laughter.

"The fuck is wrong with you two?!"

Munakata controls his laughter long enough to gently take Sakakura by the shoulders and turn him to face the nearest reflective surface.

Sakakura's eyes go wide and he turns a stunning shade of purple that boils into red.

"You guys are fucking assholes!"

"I mean... You wish one of us was, right?" 

The suggestive wink makes it that much worse, but luckily Munakata is still stuck on the discovery of what the white on his face looks like.

"You're dead meat!"

Deliberately, he reaches out his sticky hand... and wipes it in a messy streak across the wall, just high enough so Yukizome can't reach it easily when she has to clean it up.

Yukizome gasps, deeply wounded by this.

"You...!"

"What else you got, housewife? Any more jokes left?"

Munakata stands there, watching a very odd argument and very intense reactions from very silly people.

"Just one. I bet this one shows up in your wet dreams!"

She says and scoops up a few fingertips worth of leftover meringue... and splashes it into Munakata's face.

"Hey. What did I do?" Munakata flinches, confused.

Sakakura turns another interesting shade of red seeing white sticky gobs on Munakata's innocent face.

~ ~ ~

After everything has been cleaned up and once the meringues are done, they leave the kitchens.

"Um... so..."

Sakakura looks to Yukizome.

"What?"

"Here. These are... for you." He says handing her the bag of meringues they made.

"...Huh?"

"I... Well, I wanted to learn how to do something simple to... to say thanks. But, I'm shit with those bag things and I don't have a mixer so... I wouldn't be able to recreate it."

"Say thanks for what?"

"...You know. The whole... This whole mess." He said offering her the bag. "You're the first one I've ever really... told. And you were the one who helped me with the letter in the first place."

"..." She smiles and accepts them. "Come here, knucklehead."

"...Why."

"For a hug, idiot." She says before hugging him tight. Tighter than he expected she was capable of.

"..." Munakata watches closely. "Are you two going to date?"

"..." Sakakura looks at him blankly as Yukizome pulls out of the hug finally. "Is that another joke?"

"Yes. Was it more tasteful?"

"...A little."

"Still, I'm worried about your match, Sakakura. If you lose..."

"There's no way I would, stop jinxing it."

"But..." She sighs. "I guess it'll be fine. Just do your best."

"Of course. But... I'm... I think I want to make my next move." He says, suddenly shy and blushing.

Yukizome furrows a brow, and Munakata tilts his head like a dog.

"Next move?"

"Well... I mean... I told Yukizome, or, she found out. And then I told Munakata so..."

"You're going to tell everyone?" Munakata suggests, confused.

"What? No. Fuck no." He shakes his head before looking at Munakata. "When I win, I'm... I'm going to ask for a kiss."

"What?!" Yukizome says maybe too loudly. This man is dangerous! "What do you mean?"

"...Well... Now that you know..." He says looking to Munakata. "When I win and ace my practical exam, I want your kiss."

"From me or Yukizome?" He asks blankly.

"Hey, I've been kissed before... idiot virgins." She says under her breath.

"So have I." Munakata drops another bombshell that nearly drops Yukizome.

"Yeah, but not by..." Sakakura begins to speak before looking around. "...you know!"

"...Oh. That first kiss." He says nodding, understanding. A first kiss with another boy. Was that also Sakakura's first kiss with another boy...?

"You said you wouldn't mind if... if it were me."

"More or less."

"Wait, I'm sorry, you said what and where was I?" Yukizome watches the conversation go further into strange territory.

"So... What do you say? I still want your help to train, so maybe it is selfish but... I'm asking you."

"..." Munakata pauses and looks away, as if thinking. He takes what seems like a very long time. "Alright. I don't mind rewarding you."

"Ooh..." Yukizome is now entranced in the story unfolding before her.

"However. If I'm taking the time to train with you and offering you a reward... You absolutely are not allowed to lose your match. Understood?"

"Y-Yeah. Definitely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot that the Japanese school year starts in April, and Yukizome's birthday would have been in May so... this was kind of a way to give her a birthday gift.
> 
> Aka 'sorry I'm stealing your man' meringues!
> 
> Though she's fine with it. They're both very stupid, it's fine.
> 
> Also I took some creative liberties with the practical exam because it doesn't seem like an effective way to judge everyone's talents but it is canon I guess...?


	7. I'm Hoping You'll Understand

It had been a long time coming.

Sitting attentively in his seat while Munakata delivered another beautiful speech, he couldn't help but take a picture. He smiled to himself seeing it. Maybe he would frame it. He always wanted to remember that conviction and drive behind the words.

Every time he spoke, Sakakura was sure he was going to change the world somehow.

And then it came time for the practical exams. And Sakakura's was a boxing match, him versus a pro-boxer.

"...You know, this feels... extreme." Yukizome said handing Sakakura his water bottle.

Backstage at some kind of stadium where they filmed boxing matches, Yukizome was more nervous than either of her two friends. She had no idea this was going to end up televised.

"It's just another match." Sakakura says with a deep voice, trying to hide his own nervousness. "It'll be fine."

"Sakakura." Munakata gives him a show of confidence with his eyes. "I believe in you."

"...Y-Yeah, thanks."

"But you're going to be on TV... Or... the internet. Both!" She spirals. "And... Well... Please be careful."

"You worry too much."

He says standing up. According to professional boxing regulations, he has to be shirtless. When he gives her a hug, she flinches at it.

"Stop it, you're... you're all sweaty!"

"Shut up, you have no idea how sweaty I'm gonna be by the end of this."

"I don't want to hug you then either!" She says squirming.

"Come on, big man. You want in on the group hug?"

"..." Munakata blinks. "Me?"

"Come on."

Munakata isn't sure what to do or say. He's... never really been good with people, and certainly not on good enough terms to be invited to a group hug.

"Um... Alright."

He says awkwardly before walking over and being forced into the group hug.

"...Normally I'd be happy to hug Munakata but... your smelly armpits are ruining it."

"Shut up, I'm wearing deodorant."

"You are squeezing very tightly."

"Ah. Sorry."

The hug ends with them being told the match will begin shortly.

Yukizome is still nervous, but Munakata looks at him confidently.

"Remember, I did help you train. If you let me down, I would be disappointed."

Munakata says it in a way that's meant to be encouraging, but it comes out more ominous than he intended.

"We still have a deal right?" Sakakura asks, serious.

"Of course." He smiles knowingly. "Although... You are wearing very little as it is. What an odd way to have your first."

"...You're making it weird, Munakata." Yukizome laughs awkwardly.

"Sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine. Go get to your seats. And you better be cheering for me."

~ ~ ~

Munakata and Yukizome have reserved seats near the front of the ring. The camera crew makes even Munakata a bit nervous.

The pro they bring in is someone apparently well-known in the boxing circuit, though neither Munakata nor Yukizome know who it is. But they do understand that it's a huge event that a Super High School Level Boxer from an internationally recognized school like Hope's Peak would go and challenge a pro.

Even so, it's apparent the pro that was picked wasn't doing it because he wanted to.

When Sakakura and the other boxer arrive in the ring, the crowd begins to roar. Of course, Tengan is somewhere nearby to watch the proceedings, and some other faculty or judges? It was hard to tell, but they wore the Hope's Peak crest.

The pro is nearly as tall as Sakakura, which is saying something, but he's obviously older... And... Even burlier than Sakakura. They haven't fully suited up yet.

Sakakura walks forward from his side of the ring to shake the other man's hand. The crowd waits expectantly, but the man stares at Sakakura's hand before ignoring him to pump his fists for the crowd.

"What! So rude!" Yukizome fumes as the crowd cheers. "Kick his ass!"

"..." Munakata smiles blankly. He isn't sure how to react, but he can tell Sakakura's just been disrespected. That does bother him, but he really doesn't know if it's appropriate to yell or make a scene like Yukizome.

That simply wasn't the way he was raised. It felt strange to see others acting in a way he didn't know how to emulate. He was sure he stood out. Even with Yukizome there, he was still very alone.

He was there with friends, but still felt alone.

In the time it had taken him to space out, Sakakura had put on his boxing gloves, nonplussed by the obvious slight. Sakakura in boxing shorts, hair pulled back a little more than usual, mouthguard in place.

The announcer called out Sakakura's name, age, weight class and other facts that Munakata didn't really understand, maybe it was boxing lingo?

The match begins while Munakata is spacing out. He really doesn't know how boxing actually works, maybe he should have thought to ask. He understood that there were rounds, but didn't know how they worked. He understood that people sometimes lost by being knocked out... but what happened if no one got a KO?

The pro gets the first hit, or so it appears. Sakakura is quickly overwhelmed by a flurry of blows, though they don't really seem to be doing much. He does recognize the idea of "rope-a-dope", but only as far as the saying. But this must be what it is.

"Come on, Sakakura! Fight back!"

"..."

As Munakata watches, he sees the pro backing Sakakura to a corner. When the blinding punch smashes into the pro's face which makes the crowd gasp. There's a spray of blood and even Munakata is surprised.

It's such a heavy loud blow that the crowd is temporarily silenced before a vicious rebuttal comes from Sakakura. A heavy barrage of flying fists takes the pro completely unawares as he's sent back. The pro's face is bleeding in places, and bruises are forming.

When Sakakura backs away, he's putting up his fists in a defensive stance.

So this is what Sakakura actually looks like actually fighting a proper opponent? Seeing him fight, and sweat. Muscles...

Munakata softly begins to blush. Oh, dear.

But still... Sakakura against a proper opponent was... inspiring. The way he moved, and the way he looked... Well, the way he looked was certainly... 

"Are you okay?" Yukizome looks at him.

"What?"

"You look... like you're stuck in your head."

The crowd gasps when the next hit lands.

The pro hits Sakakura right above his left eye with enough force to open a wound and blood splatters across the ring. Yukizome covers her mouth with her hands.

A fresh spray of blood drips down Sakakura's face, forcing him to keep his eye closed. The sweat pouring off his brow makes the wound sting. The punches continued to come at him, and it's harder to dodge with limited vision. There's a moment where Sakakura nearly puts his knee to the mat.

Yukizome half-covers her eyes while Munakata's eyes widen in surprise.

The blows keep coming, and Sakakura can mostly dodge them, wiping blood from his brow with his forearm as much as he can. It's not a deep wound, but face wounds always bleed a lot.

"I can't watch, tell me when it's over." She says trying to watch but also not watch.

"Sakakura..." He says quietly. There's a small part of him that wants to help him somehow, even though he knows Sakakura can do this... even though he knows the match will go well for him. It has to. "You can do it, Sakakura. I know it."

He says the words, but they're quietly drowned out by the crowd. Even so, Sakakura's eyes (even though he can only partially see from the one at the moment) spot Munakata in the crowd of people.

There's a look that's shared, but neither of them really know what the other is thinking.

Sakakura turns his eyes to his opponent who is sneering at him.

The pro takes an expert swing at him, trying to capitalize on his momentary blindness, a haymaker to his blindspot. But Sakakura can tell that's where it'll come from, and nimbly dodges before moving to counterattack. There's not much distance between them, but he launches forward and Munakata recognizes the technique from their previous bouts.

Sakakura is good at closing distances and eliminating enemies, but it's much harder to dodge this close. 

Even Munakata had been on the receiving end of these types of punches and... they really did hurt. At least Sakakura would stop their sparring to have him sit and apply an icepack apologizing and swearing in quick succession.

Sakakura's right hand flies forward and just when the pro moves to dodge that, Sakakura's left hand shoots forward to carry out his feinting maneuver. Moving him where he wants to deliver a more powerful move is also something Munakata's been on the receiving end of. The feint dazes the pro, who stumbles back, giving up some ground.

Seeing the way two boxers fight is so different from the way they spar. On equal footing, Sakakura absolutely stands out. He's mesmerizing to watch. If they'd ever had a straight battle of fists, Munakata knows he would very likely lose. 

The way he looks, the way he fights... He can feel himself being inspired. Maybe this is what it's like to see a Super High School Level in their true element. Maybe this is how Sakakura felt when the first met, the first time he reached out for him.

And then, before Munakata can really appreciate what's going to happen, Sakakura's left hand flies forward again, faster than his eyes can follow. He can't hear the crunch, but he can see the blood splash Sakakura and the ring. Yukizome nearly shrieks and covers her face again, even though she really does want to watch.

Munakata can't see at his angle but he can see on the television screen above them. Sakakura had launched forward with the left hand, and punched hard into the center of the pro's face. Blood erupts from his nose as he's forced back. 

The pro pretty much flies back from the impact, thumping hard into the turnbuckle. Slowly, the bigger man droops and drops, unconscious.

There's a nervous electric crackle of anxiety in the room as they wait for the KO to be called and then...

"The winner, Sakakura Juzo of Hope's Peak Academy - the Super High School Level Boxer!!"

People are now very loud, Munakata thinks. They're all standing, and even Yukizome has stood up to cheer, but Munakata is late to this. He still sits while everyone else stands and then only stands because he feels out of place not doing it.

"How many rounds was that? Was that just one?" Yukizome asks and Munakata shrugs.

"I'm not sure."

"Sakakura was really cool!"

"Yeah. He was."

Sakakura is held there in the ring while cameras seem to swarm him from every angle. A medical team has come in to attend to the pro, while a smaller team has come in to help Sakakura, wiping the blood off his face and applying some things Munakata doesn't know or recognize onto the wound above his eye. Shouldn't they have done that sooner...?

There's a rather dramatic scene where they present some kind of award or something to Sakakura. It's not quite a trophy or a championshp belt. It looks like some kind of plaque. Although it must purely be ceremonial because once the pictures are taken, the plaque is handed over to Tengan, probably for the display case.

People are beginning to leave once the match and everything end. Sakakura pulls off his gloves before looking at the unconscious man he's just fought. There seems to be a hard look of disdain, or, maybe boredom. Sakakura is surrounded by people talking to him, tending to his cut and bruises, and even a few reporters it seems.

And Sakakura doesn't look like he has time or patience for any of it.

~ ~ ~

They're permitted backstage when it's all over, though Sakakura is being treated in something like an infirmary. Do all boxing stadiums have these kinds of things for the athletes? Munakata can't begin to imagine.

When they enter, he's got people around him hounding him and fussing over him. Maybe it's his manager? Or does he have a publicist? ...Munakata admits to himself that he never thought to ask.

"Hey. You guys mind giving me some alone with my friends?"

Sakakura looks to them, and the people around him look to Yukizome and Munakata. They seem cold and distant. There's a brief few seconds before they must come to understand that the two are SHSL too, because their own curiosity piques and they start to fuss over them instead.

One of them must be a reporter because they go right up to Yukizome.

"Are you Sakakura's girlfriend? How do you feel after having seen your boyfriend's match?"

"Haha... Girlfriend? He should be so lucky." Yukizome laughs and then quickly becomes serious. "Wait, just say I'm not his girlfriend."

"...And you, young man, how did you feel about the match?"

"I am also not his girlfriend." Munakata smiles blankly as Sakakura flinches, turning purple again. It can't be good for his cut. "And I know nothing about boxing, sorry."

"Alright, alright. Leave them alone."

Sakakura pretty much shoos everyone out. When they leave, Sakakura's face drops into exhaustion.

"Fuck, I'm so tired but they just won't leave me alone."

"Look at you, big guy! You did it!" Yukizome considers hugging him, but Sakakura is even sweatier than before, and has a bit of blood still on him. The muscles are impressive though. She lightly punches him in the arm. "Proud of you."

"..." Sakakura turns away embarrassed. "I said I was going to win, why are you so surprised."

"Because it looked like you were getting your ass kicked there for a bit."

"All part of the show."

"What a liar." Yukizome sighs. "Anyway, it's late. I'm going back to campus."

"Hold on, you shouldn't go by yourself. At least let me call you a cab or something."

"Aw, are you worried about me, Juzo?"

"I'm worried about what'll happen to some lowlife that tries to mug you." He says jokingly which makes Yukizome laugh. "I'll tell them to send someone to take you two back."

"Alright. In that case..." Yukizome looks between her two friends awkwardly. "I will find somewhere else to be... because... of plot reasons."

"...Plot?"

"Maybe I can find some kids from school who want to talk about your rippling abs."

"Shut up!"

Sakakura calls whoever he calls and they tell him a taxi is on the way.

And now there's no one else in the room but Munakata. Sakakura is blushing nervously.

"So... What'd you think of the match?"

"You won."

"I know that. But what did you think about it." He asks again, and Munakata considers it.

"I really don't know anything about boxing but... Your match did make me want to learn more."

"Yeah?"

"I'm surprised you abandoned your earlier plan." He says which catches Sakakura off guard. "I thought you were going to tire him out and take him down in one punch."

"Well... I mean..." He says a bit flattered that Munakata saw that was his intention. "I was going to but the guy was just so damn arrogant I couldn't resist just knocking him down a peg."

"And yet..." Munakata moves closer and nearly touches the cut before Sakakura pulls back, his hair is now more in his face, slick with sweat. "Even after that, he still hit you."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I wanted a cleaner victory."

"I suppose all that matters is you won." He says before observing some purple bruises that are starting to come through on Sakakura's face. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah, it looks worse than it is. It'd be worse if it'd been bare knuckles. But I usually end up looking like I went a few rounds after a fight... well... I guess because I literally go a few rounds but... Heh. You should see the other guy. When he wakes up he's gonna look like a rotten tomato."

"Sakakura."

"Thanks for coming by the way. I appreciate-"

Munakata doesn't let him finish his sentence before he closes the small amount of distance, kissing Sakakura right on the lips as if it's the easiest thing in the world. 

Sakakura freezes in place the way Munakata kisses him. It's not a perfect kiss, it's very unpracticed and really only lips against lips with nothing deeper, but Munakata seems intent on holding the kiss as Sakakura becomes red and shaky.

When Munakata pulls back, Sakakura begins to scan the room as if someone must be there watching them, but it's just them. Munakata is flushed, but not as much as Sakakura.

"How was it? I'm... not experienced as you know, but a deal is a deal. Congratulations on your win."

"I... Y-Yeah. That... That was..." He mumbles incoherently. "You weren't... bad or anything. Just so you know."

"That's kind of you to say." He smiles.

"What... about you? Did you...?"

"The kiss was alright for me." He says honestly, but there's a shyness in Munakata's voice. "I was more concerned that I wasn't going to be any good at it. Maybe I was too much in my head."

"Yeah but... Kissing a... a guy?"

"Oh, that? I didn't mind that at all. Especially since it was you."

Sakakura isn't sure exactly how to take that, but it makes him start to grin stupidly, still bright red.

"...Thanks."

"Would you like another kiss?"

"I... Well... Y-Yeah, but I shouldn't push my luck, right...?"

Before Munakata can respond, there's a technological beeping sound from the other side of the room. Sakakura's phone begins to ring. The sound of the ring makes Sakakura's face harden into annoyance.

"Shit. I... Stay here. I gotta take this."

"I can go."

"Stay. It won't be long. Never is."

"..." What does that mean?

Sakakura moves sluggishly to his phone before picking it up with a sigh.

"Yeah? ...Hey. Yeah. Nice to hear from you too. Where's dad? Oh. Well. Tell him I said- ...Yeah, it just happened. I dunno. I don't think it's live, but who knows. You might have to look it up. Well, no, they didn't tell me... Yeah, I know you want to record it. No. Don't do that. Why? Because sending people copies to brag is... No. Well, obviously I won. I always win, that's not why... Well, if it was live then you already missed it but it might be online or... Alright. I have no idea, mom. I don't know how fast reporters write articles. I... Yeah. Okay. Go on then. Yeah. I'll... I'll talk to you later."

Sakakura hangs up and puts his phone on silent. He stares at the phone pensively before putting it down and walking back over to Munakata. He can't seem to shake the conversation.

"Your parents?"

"My mom." He says, now gloomy. "She... didn't even ask how I was."

Munakata frowns. "Sorry."

"All she wanted to know was where she can watch the match, how she can get copies made to send it to people... what articles or links to send like... give me a fucking break, I'm already in the fanciest school in the country winning prize fights and she still isn't satisfied. How many people does she have to lord over before she's happy..."

"I'm sorry."

Munakata says again before placing his hand on Sakakura's arm. Sakakura flinches but doesn't pull away.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you my shit like that. I'm sorry I let you see that."

"Please don't shut me out." Munakata's serious tone even frightens him. Feeling Sakakura trying to withdraw in on himself scares him. "You're not a burden. I wish I knew what to say or how to help is all."

"..." Sakakura looks at him seriously, as if contemplating something. "Forgive me for this but... I... want more."

Munakata is surprised to find himself being kissed again, and so forcefully. It's much different than his own kiss, something wild that makes him part his lips for Sakakura, admiring the way Sakakura can take the initiative and realizing that this is why people kiss.

This kiss is decidedly more intense, but Munakata is kissing back, trying to mimic what he can of Sakakura's technique. Kissing the bottom lip and holding it with his lips, a fuller kiss than his own simpler one. But for all his passion, Sakakura's is a sloppy kiss and when they part, they're both breathing hard.

"...That was... unexpected."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You are... unsurprisingly more skilled than I am."

"Shit, that ain't true when you... you know with my lip and..." Sakakura blushes immensely and can't get the words out. "...You're a natural."

"I think there's still more you could teach me. But..." Munakata smirks, before giving Sakakura a loud slap on the ass. Sakakura automatically jumps. "I thought our agreement was for a kiss, singular."

"But you offered a second one!"

"And you refused. And then you went and kissed me out of the blue anyway." Munakata enjoys watching Sakakura squirm. "You send mixed messages."

"Y-Yeah... I... I did say that, huh... forgive me."

"You're lucky you made my first kiss with a man enjoyable."

Sakakura laughs awkwardly.

"...You should go find Yukizome. The cab should be here soon."

"You should come with us."

"I... I can't. There are still all the reporters and photo ops... And..."

"Is that really what you want?"

"...No. I'd rather just go home and take a shower and just... sleep for a while."

"Then get your things. We'll go together." Munakata smiles.

"But if I pull a no-show they'll... probably get mad."

"They'll get over it."

Sakakura can't stop himself from laughing. "I don't think that's something the Student Council President should say."

"Well..." Munakata gives a wry smile. "You're already very good at apologizing and doing something anyway."

"...D-Don't be mad about that. I..." He blushes. "I really liked that kiss."

"I'm teasing you."

"I know, but still. You're gonna make me feel bad."

"At least I know how to cheer you up." He says before giving him a pointed look. "Now get your things, we're all going back together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not written, but definitely imagined: Sakakura in the taxi with everyone else only in his boxing gear + robe and his bag of clothes because he didn't have time to fully get changed just awkwardly trying not to shiver.
> 
> Also Chisa just taking so many selfies of the three of them and flexing with Juzo flexing in the background like "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS"


	8. Danger! High Voltage!

Munakata takes a deep breath. The weather had become warmer and they were getting close to summer. And now the practical exams were long over. As expected, the trio passed with flying colors.

And Munakata and Sakakura had kissed.

But they hadn't kissed again since then, even though they were spending time together. It seemed neither of them really knew how to continue from there. If there was a way to continue from there. They were still friendly, and maybe even flirtatious, but they hadn't gone beyond that initial first kiss... Well, first kisses, anyway.

When the student council meeting was over, he left to go find Sakakura and Yukizome.

"Oh. I left my bag..."

Halfway through the campus, he realized he forgot his bag back in the classroom. It wasn't like he left anything important, aside from his notes and books. He still had his wallet, keys, and phone.

He quickly texts his friends that he'll be running late and then heads back towards the room.

"It's so hooooot..." Munakata can hear people speaking from the room. It sounds like three of the student council members.

"I know. I thought Munakata was going to go on forever. I'm so sleepy." A guy says.

"Yeah, I don't think he noticed." One girl says.

"Hope this, hope that... Have hope, create hope... Hope, hope, hope..." The other girl says. "I think that's the only word he knows."

"Obviously not, there were other words."

"You know what I mean, how does he say all that crap with a straight face?"

"I dunno, but that's Munakata for you. No wonder he's the Student Council President... We are in a place called Hope's Peak Academy, right?"

"Maybe the Headmaster picked him to be Student Council President because that's his favorite word."

"...You do know that you get _elected_ to be Student Council President, right?"

"Well, I didn't vote for him!"

"You didn't have to. He's such a strong candidate. I mean... He's got good grades, he's athletic... He looks good."

"Okay, girl, calm down. You know he's only got eyes for the Housekeeper."

"And he's got his own bodyguard. Can you believe that? You think he gets paid?"

"Sakakura? He's not smart enough to ask for a wage!"

"Figures he'd go for someone so feminine like Yukizome. Just because she can clean real well and knows how to cook..."

"Things you have no idea how to do, you mean."

"Shut up!"

"...Yeah, but can you imagine what spending the day with Munakata would be like? He's just... so cold."

Munakata can't help but listen. He really doesn't want to hear these things, but he knows it would only be awkward if he came in at the wrong moment. Still, he feels growing unease ball up in his stomach. He doesn't like his friends being badmouthed but... hearing them talk so flippantly about him also hurts.

This must have been what Sakakura felt before he decked the upperclassmen.

"He's not cold. He's got people skills problems."

"How's that any better? It's like talking to a robot. Meep mork, I am Hopebot."

"...No robot says 'meep mork'... And that's really mean!"

"But it's true. Have you ever tried having a regular conversation with him?"

"W-Well... Yeah... But..."

"It's like talking to a wall! There's just no reaction. Fuckin' zeeeero. Only like... boredom, fake smile, and hope. Those're his default settings."

"Even if he's not great with people, you still shouldn't say those kinds of things. What if he heard you?"

"What would he do? He's not programmed to get angry. I don't get why you've got the hots for him. Dating Munakata would be like dating a sea sponge."

"Holy shit, you're mean today." The boy laughs. "Did your boyfriend break up with you?"

"Shut up!"

Deciding it's better to go now, Munakata opens the door louder than is necessary to get their attention.

The two girls and the boy immediately stiffen up seeing him, but Munakata cannot muster more than a polite 'default' smile.

"I'm sorry to intrude. I left my bag." He says simply, as the three others stare at him in awkward silence. Munakata takes his bag, which he'd left at the front of the classroom, goes through it to make sure all of his things are still there and goes to depart. "See you at the next meeting."

He says it politely but even he knows it came off as false as he closes the door.

"...Holy shit, dude."

"He heard you! He totally heard you!"

"I told you he wouldn't get mad."

"That was, like, way harsh though. You should apologize."

"For what?"

"Apologize to me then! I was going to confess to him this week but how am I supposed to face him after that!"

"Girl, I just saved you from confessing to an amoeba."

"You're the worst!"

Munakata walks quickly away. He knows it shouldn't bother him, but it does. He knows he has no real experience relating to people on a personal level. He never had many friends. And his parents never taught him how to be social. Truth be told, his parents didn't even really like each other.

And as hurtful as the words really were to him, it wasn't nearly as bad as feeling like he was failing at something. Something important that he'd never learned how to do. The only way he knew how to connect with people was through organization, meetings, and common goals. Aside from that...

Aside from that...?

Aside from that, did he have any friends at all? ...Only Yukizome and Sakakura. That he knew of, and considered friends. 

But even they noticed he wasn't exactly a social person. They never pushed or pried, but did they also think of him as... some lifeless automaton? Some... Hopebot?

"What am I supposed to be doing..." He mumbles to himself as he walks. "...How am I doing this wrong? I don't... understand."

It takes some time for him to make his way over to the other building where Yukizome and Sakakura are. They should be done cleaning up by now. Even though Yukizome's practical exam went over fine - and she had to clean a lot less than she anticipated because the judges weren't going to examine every single floor of every single building - she was still making sure the main buildings were spotless, along with help from other students.

Sakakura was still technically being punished, and part of it was helping Yukizome clean.

A part of Munakata wished he had the free time to help. He could spend more time with them. Maybe he would learn how to be more social if... if he knew how to be more friendly.

As he made his way inside, he made his way up to the rec room. In two separate chairs, Yukizome and Sakakura were playing some kind of card game. Other students played pool in the background.

"Pick a card, any card..." Sakakura said smirking as he fanned out his cards.

"..." Yukizome stared fixedly before pulling the card furthest to the right. She nearly shrieked in fear and Sakakura immediately began to laugh.

"Oh, what a shame, Yukizome's going to be an Old Maid after all."

"Shut up, butthead." She said before kicking him square in the shin making him jolt. "Oh! Hey, Munakata, want to join in?"

"...You just want us to have to reshuffle because you're losing."

"Shut up."

"..." Munakata stared blankly. 

They seemed to be bickering, but even then... It was like the three in the room. They knew how to joke with each other like friends but... He didn't know how to respond. Even when he tried to joke, they all came out wrong or too deadpan.

"We're playing Old Maid. You know it?"

"I've... heard of it. But I don't know how to play."

"You interested? I can reshuffle and deal you in. There's... Is there another chair free?"

"...I don't know how to play."

"Well, yeah but we'd teach you." Yukizome says smiling.

"...Is it fun?"

"It can be. When Yukizome pouts it's the best." Sakakura smirks. "She gets all defiant and then it's really easy to read her."

"What!"

"Like now."

"...I don't know..."

"...Well, if you're not interested, what do you want to do? We can go get some dinner. Sakakura's buying!"

"Why do I have to pay?!"

"...Because _some_ of us got prize money for beating a pro boxer. While _others_ only got blisters from broom handles."

"How's it my fault? Besides I thought you'd be happy to finally be handling some hard wood."

Yukizome blushes and swings another kick at him but Sakakura dodges and she kicks the chair instead.

"...What can we do that would be fun?" Munakata asks, quietly.

"Huh? Fun how?"

"...I don't know. What do you think of when you think of fun?"

"Uh, ice cream, obviously." Yukizome laughs.

"What do you mean obviously? The obvious answer is the movies, or an arcade, or a haunted house."

"Haunted houses are not fun." She says sighing. "...Maybe a haunted house cafe?"

"No one wants to get scared while drinking tea. Besides you're making it sound like a sad culture fest episode of some slice of life anime."

"...Yeah, I am, kinda... Huh."

"What's Yukizome's favorite ice cream flavor?" Munakata asks and Yukizome nearly beams thinking of it.

"Strawberry."

"Typical."

"Sakakura's is probably something stupid like vanilla. Because he's boring." She sneers at him.

"I like ginger ice cream. Or... maybe cookie dough."

"Yeah, cookie dough is good... But it makes you fat."

"It makes _you_ fat. I have to run laps every single day. I don't worry about my weight. If anything I need more calories than most."

"...Lucky athletes."

"Anything but mint. It's like toothpaste."

"Mint chocolate chip is another favorite!"

"There's no reason for it to be chocolate and mint. It's like rotting your teeth while you clean them. So bizarre."

"Sakakura, it's not toothpaste. Mint is not toothpaste."

Munakata watches their reactions carefully. He isn't sure he knows how to emulate or reciprocate them.

"What kind of ice cream do you like, Munakata?" Sakakura looks to him.

"Oh. Uh... Vanilla is fine."

"...Come on, man. Vanilla's good but it is boring for an answer. Think bigger."

"...Bigger?" He thinks. "...What's 'bigger' mean?"

"You know. Like... chocolate fudge, peanut butter, Neapolitan, maybe like... something exotic. Like peach!"

"...Peaches are not exotic. Coconut is exotic, peaches are pretty... normal."

"Peach ice cream...?" Munakata considers it.

"...Let's not talk about ice cream, it's making me want ice cream." Yukizome stands, putting the cards down. "We should get some ice cream!"

"We haven't eaten actual dinner yet." Sakakura rolls his eyes. "What is it with girls and sweet things, why can't you just enjoy regular food."

"We do enjoy regular food. But... sometimes you want sweets."

"I like sweet things too, but it's not regular food. Besides, sweet things shouldn't be sweet just for the sake of sweetness! Especially when you get into chocolate. Just give me ginger, or cloves... I need something more complex with my sweets."

He was... very passionate about his sweets?

"Don't you already have a complex?" She laughs as Sakakura frowns.

"...What do normal people eat?"

"Huh? For dinner? ...Uh... Normal people eat... normal things."

"Wow. Sakakura. You're just so... How do you manage to say things like that and not feel stupid."

"Because you always say something stupider." He says curtly.

"We could get burgers and fries. And then ice cream!"

"...I gotta say, I don't hate that idea."

"Careful on the raw onions though. Who's going to want to kiss you if you taste like onions?" She says knowingly and Sakakura begins to blush automatically.

"Would that be fun?"

"Hey, Munakata. What's your deal?" Sakakura sets the cards down and Yukizome begins to gather them to put them back in the deck. When he stands, Munakata notices that Sakakura isn't wearing the normal uniform, but he's got a jacket and the sleeveless undershirt that... shows a lot of chest. "You've been weird all day."

"What do you mean 'all day'? We only just now saw him."

"...It's nothing. I'm... not a very warm person. I want to be more fun."

"Huh?" Yukizome's cheerful mood dissipates rather quickly. "You're plenty of fun, why? What happened?"

"Nothing happened." He smiles falsely. Now that it's been brought to his attention, all he can think about is how fake it really is to smile with no hint of emotion but feeling like he needs to do something with his face.

"You sure? Need me to beat someone up?"

"Sakakura, why is that your go-to? Are you trying to get expelled."

"I was kidding." Mostly. "I wouldn't hit anyone... who didn't deserve it. But seriously, if you're getting picked on, you tell me and I'll set them straight."

"Uh..." Munakata stares at him blankly.

"I know, I know. I'm worrying too much. But, you're not alone."

He smiles, more genuinely than before.

They do end up going to a fast food place, and Sakakura does decide to pay for them... Although he was more willing to pay for Munakata than for Yukizome, but she weaseled her way out of payment somehow.

It isn't Munakata's first time having a burger, obviously. But trying to eat it gingerly while Sakakura can inhale two and be done before him is... a different kind of experience.

"How did you even eat two of them?" Yukizome asks over her ice cream, which they got later. Unsurprisingly, she goes for strawberry.

"I was hungry!" Sakakura blushes, now self-conscious. They didn't have ginger ice cream, but they did have black cherry ice cream, which ordinarily wouldn't be his first choice... But he goes for it.

Munakata watches the exchange closely. At Yukizome's recommendation, he went for cheesecake ice cream. It's much richer than he's expecting and he has to take his time with it.

"Two burgers though?"

"Hey, I practically live on protein shakes, vegetables, and lean meat. I... Even I have food urges."

"How's the ice cream, Munakata?"

"It's good." He answers automatically, but tries to correct himself. "It... It is good. I'm not sure about it though."

"What do you mean?"

"...I think I want something more... sour next time." He can feel himself trying to soften the words for Yukizome, as if she's going to feel offended it's not his favorite flavor.

When did he get in the habit of trying to shape his answers according to how other people might or might not feel? That's... not a normal quality.

"Something sour... Maybe lemon? Or like orange...? Key lime pie!"

He's surprised she's not upset with him. Growing up, he would 'go along to get along' with what his parents or his other classmates wanted. And if he didn't have a good time, he'd keep it to himself. Somehow, he'd ended up creating a likable persona that did what people said or spared everyone's feelings so as to not be a nuisance. But... saying what he wanted honestly hadn't hurt Yukizome's feelings at all.

"You wanna trade?" Sakakura offers. "Cherry is more on the sour side."

"Huh?"

"Well, if it's not your flavor, I'll take it. I don't care."

"Um..." He looks to Yukizome who smiles unaware of his inner monologue. "Alright."

"You can try some of mine if you want. It's a bit sweet but it's not cloying."

"..." They were both being very kind to him. He had no idea what to say to that at all. "Maybe another time."

"Okay. We'll figure out a good flavor for you. Maybe I should make some of my own now that it's getting hot out..."

"You should do sesame ice cream." Sakakura suggests.

"Blegh. Sesame..." She cringes. "I'd prefer something fruity."

"You better not be setting up for a joke." Sakakura stares warningly as he begins to eat the ice cream, switching with Munakata.

"I wasn't! You're so touchy... There's a joke there, though."

After they'd finished, the two escorted Yukizome back to her dorm and were finally left alone.

Munakata, still a little unsure of everything, kept quiet the entire time.

"Are you... okay?" Sakakura asks quietly. The sun has begun to set now, and everything is turning from orange to dark black very quickly.

"What?"

"You've been weird all day. Even Yukizome thought so. What's the matter?"

"..." There's a long awkward silence that quickly permeates the space between them. "I'm not normal, am I."

It's a question, but it sure isn't phrased like one.

"I don't get what you're saying."

"I'm weird." He says finally. "That's what people think of me, right?"

"..." Sakakura isn't sure exactly what to say to that. "Who... who told you that you were weird?"

"I know I don't react normally like people want me to. I don't know how to be normal."

"Forget that. You're fine. Who said were weird?"

"..."

"Hey. Are you getting bullied again? Do I need to have a discussion with people?"

"Don't. You'll get expelled for sure."

"That's... no reason not to at least say something."

"It's alright. I'm..." He pauses. "I'm trying. I was never very good at being normal."

"Dude. Just... be yourself."

"You don't understand, Sakakura." He shakes his head.

"Yeah, I do. Just be however you want to be. Do what comes naturally, fuck everyone else!"

Munakata seems to be getting more and more upset by Sakakura's words. For him, they're simple platitudes, not concrete solutions to his problem.

"You say that I should be myself but..." He looks at Sakakura, dangerously with determination. "...The way I am now, the person I am now... I don't know who that is."

"You're Student Council President-"

"Juzo. This is serious."

"Shut up, I'm not done." He says, trying not to focus on his first name being used. "You're Student Council President, you're way too polite to people who don't deserve it, you've got a much higher tolerance for bullshit than I do, you're always trying to do what you think is best even if you're an ass sometimes, if you broke a school rule you'd turn yourself in to the Headmaster, you really care about people and you really care about making the future better. That's the kind of person you are."

"..." Munakata's frown softens. "...I'm not an ass."

"Yeah, you are. Sometimes. Like... a giant ass."

"...That must be why you like me."

"See! Right there, that's something an ass would say!" Sakakura says, half-blushing and half on the verge of laughter.

"I want to get better at this. At... With people."

"You don't need to force yourself. It's only your first year here. And... If you're really insistent on it, you, me, and Yukizome can find things to do."

"...Like what?"

"We could always skip school and hang out at the beach? Or go on a trip somewhere for break? ...I dunno."

"We shouldn't skip school." He says firmly and then tries to cover it up. "...That would be breaking a school rule, and I would tell Tengan."

"...Yeah, you would. Still... Maybe we should skip school. Get you to live a little. Maybe get you drunk."

"...That would be bad for many different reasons."

"I dunno. I'm kinda curious how you'd be drunk. Except you'd probably start preaching about hope and get arrested."

"That's not funny."

Munakata stares at him seriously.

For the briefest of moments, Sakakura's sure he's going to yell at him or scold him or something. Instead, he moves even closer until they're nearly touching.

Before Sakakura can pull back or defuse the situation, Munakata has leaned in just enough to kiss him again. Sakakura's mind freezes as the kiss holds, a gentler kiss. He shudders feeling Munakata's hand touch his cheek before he withdraws from the kiss.

"...What... What was that for?"

"...You made me happy. And... I wanted to." Munakata says simply. "Did you not want to? I'm sorry."

"N-No it's... It's not that... I..." Sakakura fumbles with the words and even though it's now getting dark, he can still feel he's probably blushing. "...I wasn't expecting it."

"...We could try going on a date some time if you wanted. Normal people date."

"...A d-date? You..." Sakakura is absolutely blushing now. "...Maybe. I... Let's just get you okay with hanging out the three of us... And... see how it goes."

"You don't want to?"

"I do want to!" He says a little too eagerly. "But I don't want to push you into anything."

"I asked you, not the other way around."

"Yeah, but you're... a little upset. I want you to really want to go on... a d-date with a guy... like me. No agendas or... I mean, only because you want to and not because you're upset or sad."

"...I don't really understand it, but I'll think more on it if that's what you mean."

"Yeah. Basically that. But... Thank you... for the kiss. Well, kisses. All of them. Thanks."

"You were a good kisser. I look forward to the next one."

"Next... one?" And Sakakura loses his mind internally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meep mork, the position of Ultimate Robot has already been filled, meatbag Munakata.


	9. That Echo Chorus Lied to Me

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"It's fine, it's fine... Just don't throw up on me."

Yukizome smiles as they hold up Munakata together. Munakata was a lightweight apparently. Even Sakakura is still drunk, but he's able to hold it better than Munakata.

"I'm sorry... I should report myself... For criminal... charges."

"You got drunk, you... didn't... murder nobody..." Sakakura tries not to slur his words but he does.

"Honestly, you two are going to be the death of me." Yukizome shakes her head.

~ ~ ~

It all starts rather innocently, when their summer break begins and Sakakura's... publicist? Or, was it manager?... Whoever it was, they contact Sakakura and tell them they're holding a party in his honor after his major upset in the practical exams.

It's an out of town trip, and Sakakura invites his two friends along who... really would rather not go home for the summer anyway. And since the hotel and transportation is covered, they see no reason to disagree.

The train ride in the heat is brutal, and lasts for almost an hour. Somehow, Yukizome and Sakakura both manage to fall asleep, leaning on Munakata who is too excited and nervous to sleep.

Munakata's never been on a trip that wasn't a school-funded field trip, or something like that. He's also never had friends that invited him anywhere, even over to their house for more than a study session.

When the train finally pulls into the station, they are then transported by car to the hotel.

Surprisingly, none of their parents seem to care. In fact, Sakakura's parents encourage it as a way to get him started on the fast track of the pro-boxing circuit... and Munakata's parents are fine with it as long as he considers it a networking opportunity.

Yukizome never speaks about what her parents say, just that she's sure she can go. And though Sakakura wants to be concerned that her parents let her go on a trip with two boys, alone, he doesn't press the issue. He knows that Munakata isn't like that, and he definitely knows he wouldn't try anything with Yukizome... but it worries him that her parents don't seem to care at all. He'd been fully prepared to meet with her parents to ask, or let them know she had her own room in the hotel but... Nothing.

"I slept for so long..." Yukizome says with a loud yawn when they arrive at the hotel. "Why is traveling places so tiring..."

"The hotel is nice." Munakata says quietly. "I've never been on a trip before."

"Really? Not even on vacation?"

"..." Munakata pauses blankly. "No. Most summers I would do my homework and then read or do sword practice. Summer was... always boring."

His two friends are touched and immediately begin to hug him which is embarrassing because they're taking up space in front of the doors with their suitcases, patting Munakata like a puppy.

"We'll make sure to make this summer memorable!"

"...What should we do first? We've got time before the party."

"We should do our homework." Munakata smiles when he says it, now that they've released him.

"..."

"We have to do the homework at some point over the break. Why not get it done right away?"

"...He... I can't say he's wrong but, the idea of doing homework on vacation is..." Yukizome sighs.

"It'll be quick with three people."

"...And we have Munakata so the answers will probably be right." 

Sakakura shrugs, giving in to the eventuality that at some point Munakata is going to do his homework. And he might as well be there to do his too and get the right answers this time.

As they check into their rooms, they then meet up in Munakata's room to do homework which is as boring as one would expect, but at least they get most of it done before it's time to leave.

~ ~ ~

"You look good."

Munakata says it simply and Sakakura blushes immediately. The formal suit is a little over the top for his liking but if Munakata says he likes it, then it's fine.

"...Thanks." He says quietly. The truth is that Munakata looks much better in a suit than he does. "You look god too."

"Oh my God, just make out already and knock it off." Yukizome says loudly from the bathroom as she gets ready, fixing her makeup.

A simple black dress is enough for her. She doesn't tell them it's a dress she bought on sale and fixed up herself. It looks more elegant than it's worth. Her hair is done up nicely, same as always. It might a little simple, but it's definitely not bad.

"How do I look?"

"You look very pretty, Yukizome." Munakata says which makes her begin to blush and squeal a bit. Sakakura's a tiny bit jealous.

"Yeah. Not bad, Housekeeper."

"Aw, thanks. I'm surprised they don't want you barechested and in your shorts."

"Dirty." Munakata snickers.

"..." Sakakura blushes and turns away. "Even athletes have to wear formal stuff."

"Your tie is crooked."

"Stop fussing over me." Sakakura says as Yukizome reaches out to grab his tie. It's no use though, Yukizome's too fast and strong to avoid. "Are you done?"

"Quit whining."

The party itself is nice, though it's a bit dull for the people who aren't really followers of boxing. Even though Sakakura can point out many different professional boxers, it means nothing to the other two.

"Do you want something to drink, Yukizome?"

"Just water." She says politely.

Munakata grabs what he thinks is orange juice, and something clear in a glass and comes back. He hands it to Yukizome and she takes a sip before making a face.

"What is this?!"

"...Water?"

"It tastes like..." She coughs. "Like rubbing alcohol. I think this is vodka."

"I'm sorry! I had no idea."

"It's okay." She says, a little shakier than normal as she goes to find someone to take the drink from her. "I'm... I'm going to the bathroom to wash my mouth. I'll be right back."

Sakakura can see someone is waving to him, beckoning him over.

"I'm sorry, I should... Will you be alright here until she gets back?"

"Of course."

"I'm sorry. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Munakata nods and sips his orange juice.

As Sakakura mingles, he is given champagne for various toasts. He gets the impression that people think he must be some kind of adult, even though he's very underage. Still, he is more or less forced to drink champagne with people as a sign of courtesy. He isn't fond of the taste at all, and it makes him feel warm and numb after the third glass.

Munakata meanwhile has begun to feel very warm. He takes more orange juice to try and cool down, but it only makes him feel warmer.

When Yukizome comes back from the bathroom, after having gotten lost, and then having to wait to get some mineral water she finds her two friends are flushed and Munakata is stumbling a little.

"...I literally left you guys alone for maybe twenty minutes. What did you do."

She asks accusingly, suddenly quite angry.

"They kept toasting me and toasting other people and... I think they think I'm some college kid." Sakakura can hold it together. He's more tipsy than falling down drunk.

Munakata on the other hand...

"What about you?"

"I... don't feel well."

"What did you eat?" She asks feeling his forehead. He's not running a fever, but he is red.

"I haven't ...eaten... yet."

"...What were you drinking?"

"Or...ge juice?" He slurs.

"Mixed with what?!"

"Mixed...?"

Munakata stares at the drink he's put down. This is his fourth orange juice and he hasn't been able to taste any alcohol.

Sakakura looks over to his orange juice in the highball glass.

"You just took these?"

"They... gottem..." He points. There's a waiter, or server carrying trays of them.

"...Well, he either... was drinking mimosas or screwdrivers... Bad idea either way." Sakakura can feel his head swimming. "Shit, I should've warned him. Fuck, I wasn't... even thinking about that..."

"You two are unbelievable!"

"I... don't feel good... I'm... I'm gonna..."

"You better not! Not here!"

"Come on, big man. Hold it together." Sakakura says as he moves to catch Munakata. Immediately he begins to haul him towards the bathroom.

Yukizome waits for the two of them outside of the men's room. She can hear the sound of gagging and it makes her put her hands over her ears. It's too much like home.

Once she hears the sound of running water, she can breathe a bit easier, but she realizes she's starting to shake.

Sakakura opens the door, half-holding Munakata up.

"...m... sorry... I... made a mess..."

"Yeah, you did. But you mostly made it into the toilet so that's good."

Munakata can feel himself begin to cry. Sakakura flinches. Oh no. Munakata is a sad drunk.

"...Clean...rs gon... be mad..."

"I'm sure they'll understand... We can apologize later." He says trying to console Munakata who is now openly weeping on him. His breath is terrible but washing his mouth out did help.

"Oh, geez. Should... We can't leave him here like this."

"No. I... Well, we could walk back to the hotel. It's only a five minute walk... I don't know. Should I call for a car?"

"How long would a car take to get here?"

"...I have no idea. Maybe... Like twenty minutes?"

"Let's just walk. Can you carry him?"

"Yeah. Just... Please don't throw up on me, Munakata..."

Sakakura is able to, shakily, hoist Munakata up onto his back. Normally, he'd be afraid of the police catching them drunk. Now he's just worried about how it looks for a guy to be giving another guy a piggyback ride while Munakata is crying like a child.

"They're gonna... b... somad... amme..."

"No one's mad at you." Yukizome says comfortingly as they walk. Sakakura has mostly sobered up with the panic and the night air. He's also bigger than Munakata, and champagne has less alcohol than vodka anyway.

"..ruined it..."

"You didn't ruin anything." She looks to Sakakura motioning with her eyes.

"Yeah, it's fine. The party wasn't that great. Besides, I can just tell them you weren't feeling well."

"Sorry... so sorry..."

"Just... Warn me if you need to throw up. So I can duck."

Weepy drunk Munakata makes the walk back to the hotel very interesting, as he apologizes to random people they walk past, inanimate objects, a parked car, and then the hotel concierge. Throughout the whole thing, he apologizes and thinks everyone is going to be mad at him for his failings, even though no one is or knows what exactly he's apologizing for. He continues to cry wet stains into Sakakura's back.

When they finally make it to the room, after Munakata has apologized to the elevator and everyone in the elevator - and no one was in the elevator thankfully - they set Munakata down after he convinces them he can walk.

He takes two steps, stumbles, and Sakakura catches him. And Munakata vomits on his arm.

"Oh God... Okay. Okay..." Sakakura says handing him off to Yukizome as he immediately peels off the suit.

Throughout the ordeal, Sakakura does his very best to change without looking at the vomit, already feeling like he might also throw up just by thinking about it. He keeps his dry heaving to himself stoically. When he's stripped down to his undershirt, he balls up the suit and tosses it in the dry cleaning bag.

"...p...ease... don't be mad at me... mom..."

Yukizome sits by Munakata's side. She's laid him on the couch on his side with the trashcan near him just in case.

"I'm not mad at you." Yukizome says soothingly. "You didn't do it on purpose."

"...sorry..."

"It's okay." It breaks her heart to see him so upset, but he's lost in his own drunkenness.

"The good news is that he's probably empty now." Sakakura says as he moves to scrub his arm with as much soap as humanly possible. "The bad news is he didn't eat anything so who knows how fucked up he is..."

"...just was... hot... orange... had ice..."

"I know, I know..." Yukizome says patting him gently. She's undone the top few buttons of his suit and shirt to let him breathe more easily.

"I'm sorry about this." Sakakura says before drinking a full glass of water. "I had no idea he'd... Of course there was alcohol at the party, they didn't even check his age, why would they... God I'm so fucking stupid..."

"It's not your fault either."

"...sorry... dad..."

Yukizome snorts, shaking with laughter, and Sakakura turns infinitely brighter red.

"Please, don't call me that..." At least, not in this context, he thinks. "I should've been watching him."

"I said it's not your fault. And if you want, I'll clean your suit. I don't mind. Better that than pay for the dry cleaning."

"You've had your day ruined enough. You don't need to be cleaning up orange barf."

"..." Yukizome smiles sadly to herself. "Did I ever tell you how I became a Housekeeper?"

"...No."

"My parents. Are... messy people. They always have been. I didn't understand it when I was little. Some days I just wouldn't have a bath and my parents would be asleep all the time. I was really smelly, I think. The teachers worried about me but no one said anything."

"..." Sakakura's breath hitches. He has a good idea where this is going.

"...When I was in middle school, I tried some of what my parents were drinking and they nearly went insane, you know? I've never seen them so angry. They... In public, they always worked hard but at home... All they did was drink smelly stuff, and argue, and sleep. The house was always a mess."

"...Shit, Yukizome..."

"I started cleaning because no one could come over. My parents would say the house was too messy for guests, they were embarrassed. So I'd clean. I never got to invite anyone over, though. No one let them come over to my house. So I'd just clean up all the time. Everything was clean and it made me feel better... cleaning up bottles, vomit... used needles... I've done it all. And then sometimes I'd clean the whole school so I wouldn't have to go home."

"...sorry... don't... don't leave me behind..." Munakata mumbles.

"When you two got... Well, it scared me. That's all."

"I didn't mean to scare you." Sakakura says softly. "And this one would probably turn himself into Tengan if he knew what he did."

"I'm sorry we ruined your party."

"...Uh, well, the party's still going on. It... really didn't have anything to do with me. They don't really care about me, they just want someone to feel indebted to them. Give me a chance, have me in their pocket... It's all sleazy..." Sakakura says quietly. "And you didn't ruin anything. If anything, I did. I knew I should've stuck by Munakata... I knew he... God, I'm so stupid. Of course there'd be alcohol..."

"How many times are you two going to apologize?" She asks with a laugh.

"So... Where are your parents now?"

"Still at home. We don't really talk much. I... wonder if they're cleaning up after themselves. Probably not. It's probably a mess... But... I can't stay there in that house anymore. That's why I'm so glad I got to come here."

"They're just... completely out of it all the time?"

"Not all the time. Sometimes my mom asks me if I'm eating enough, things like that. She... wants to be a good mom, but... Whenever I bring up everything they do, she just shuts me out again. 'We work hard, it's just a few drinks, why are you so ungrateful, you turned out fine'... things like that."

"Your parents sound like assholes."

"...So do yours." She says with a quiet laughter.

"My parents _are_ assholes." He laughs. "And I guess Munakata's are too. What kind of kid has to grovel like that, isn't that too excessive...? No wonder he has no social skills. Fuck, mine are pushy but his? They're like dictators..."

"I don't know. It... makes me want to protect him, you know?"

"Yeah. I... want to protect him too." Sakakura says with a blush.

"I'm losing, aren't I... You're winning his heart." She says it simply and it sounds like a sad string of notes on a piano. The words shake him to hear.

"...I don't know about that. He's... hard to read."

"But you're winning it. I can see it. I won't stand in your way." She says smiling sadly.

"You're not in the way. He needs you. I do too."

"That's nice of you to say."

"It's the truth. I only came on this trip because you two were coming... That's why I asked them to let you come. I didn't want to go alone." Sakakura says without thinking and then quickly backtracks. "I'm... I'm always alone. And it fucking sucks."

"Aw, Juzo. You do care." She says with bright laughter.

"Of course I care, dumbass."

"...I think I'm going to have to let go of him, though. I don't want to be getting myself hurt because you get him first." She says brushing Munakata's hair out of his face.

"It's... Nothing's been decided yet."

"No, but if I don't, I'll just get hurt. So... I'm gonna get over him. I think. Maybe find someone else. Do you have any sports friends that are single?"

"Why? They all smell." He rolls his eyes.

"I'm a Housekeeper. Smelly people are my specialty."

"...You might want to think about how you just said that and exactly what that means."

"His breath is going to be terrible. Better let him brush his teeth before you kiss him again."

"Shut up."

"I would've kissed him myself now but that's a little weird when he's asleep, right?" She laughs. "Plus he's really... stinky."

~ ~ ~

"...What... did I do?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Sakakura says while Yukizome cleans up. Which is not really necessary considering there are people who clean the rooms as their job.

"...My head hurts. What..."

"You drank some stuff that didn't agree with you. Take some headache medicine. And I made you a protein shake. You need to hydrate."

Sakakura hands him the pills and a cloudy white glass of something.

"...I feel nauseous. Why..."

"Take this, drink that. You'll feel better."

"...Did... Did I get drunk?" The moment he realizes what happened, Munakata is beside himself. "Oh no... I'm... I'm underage!"

"Would you relax. Take the damn medicine and drink up."

Munakata agrees, reluctantly. The protein shake is a bit gritty, but he can't stop drinking it. It feels like he's never had water before.

"...Sakakura... I'm underage."

"Yeah, you are."

"...I... I got drunk. I got drunk for the first time."

"Yeah, you did."

"Was I... Did I go... crazy?"

"No, you cried a lot and threw up a bit but I've seen worse." Sakakura tries to reassure him.

"So have I." 

Yukizome laughs to herself. She had been considering vacuuming just to hammer into Munakata more, but this is just so sad she can't bring herself to do it.

"...I need to turn myself in."

"To who? The police?" Sakakura snorts. He's adorable.

"To... I don't know. Tengan?" Sakakura and Yukizome both laugh. "It's not funny! If... If my parents knew I was... breaking the rules they'd..."

"You didn't break any rules on purpose. And it's my fault, I should've been keeping an eye on you. Forgive me for that."

"...I got drunk. Why... Why does everything hurt..."

"Because you got drunk. You got real drunk. You're a lightweight. Stick with wine next time. Vodka doesn't agree with you."

"How can you be hungry and nauseous at the same time..." Munakata continues to spiral. It's kind of adorable in a pathetic way.

"Drink your protein shake. We'll get you some breakfast. Maybe eggs."

"...Oh... No... Don't..." He says a little green. Runny, gooey eggs... "I couldn't..."

"Or maybe some chunky rice gruel congee..."

"No... not chunky..."

"Stop that." Yukizome looks to Sakakura who is taking too much pleasure in this. "Quit teasing him, that's mean."

"This... is the worst thing that's ever happened to me... I should tell Tengan..."

"We're on vacation, dumbass. He's not going to care what you do on your own time." Sakakura says trying not to laugh. "And even if he did he has no control of what you do off school property. He has no authority over you here."

"Just relax. Brush your teeth... have some tea. Maybe shower. Please don't throw up in the shower?" Yukizome smiles politely.

"I'm... am I dying..."

"No. I'm afraid you're going to live." Sakakura says laughing now. "Don't puke on me though, you already did that and I can't. I really just can't."

"...I'm sorry."

"...Yeah, you said that a lot too."

"Don't... don't hate me, okay..."

"Well, now it's just getting sad when you say things like that. No one hates you. You... You're probably the most normal I've ever seen you. And we learned that you can't drink very much, and that vodka makes you cry. All around, not too bad."

"...I broke the rules... they'd be so disappointed."

"Keep drinking the shake, you little martyr. You'll feel better."

Sakakura looks to Yukizome and rolls his eyes. This is the man they both fell for?

"...You won't tell?" He takes more generous swigs of the shake.

"Literally no one would care. Except your crazy parents but I'm not talking to them. Besides it was an accident."

"Thank you." He says sincerely.

"You're lucky you're cute because sometimes you're a real idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone who accidentally drank 4 Long Island iced teas once because I thought they were actual tea and they were cold while I was burning up, let me tell you, getting drunk when you aren't planning on it is real scary. But I'm a cheerful drunk so it almost works out.
> 
> Also I like Munakata as a drunk college girl "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and someone holds her hair. Adorable.


	10. I Look Forward to the Burden I Can Share

"You're looking a little winded, Miss Housekeeper... You sure you want to keep going...?"

"Why... Did... Did you break a nail?"

For the past hour, Sakakura and Yukizome have been hogging the dance battle machine... game... thing? at the arcade. Munakata had no idea what he was expecting when they said they were going by the arcade and then to the beach.

In all honesty, he really has no idea what's happening now.

Yukizome wears an elegantly neat and simple sundress with tights, while Sakakura is wearing shorts and some kind of sleeveless shirt that has deep openings on the side, almost as if they were ripped all the way down, giving anyone who bothered to look a view at his chest and abs from the right angle.

"...There's a crowd." Munakata, dressed entirely too warmly for the summer, says quietly as Yukizome and Sakakura stare each other down. 

Maybe a cardigan over a button-down shirt with slacks was a bad decision...? He'd expected the ocean air would be colder, but he'd been quietly sweating as they battled it out.

"Well... Looks like... We might need to call this a draw." Yukizome wipes her brow with her forearm.

"You... giving up? I'll take that... as a forfeit." Sakakura grins at her, and Yukizome's expression hardens into competitive fury.

"You wish."

"One more round?"

"You said that five rounds ago."

"...You two are both very good, but is this necessary?" Munakata smiles blankly.

In every round they'd done, they'd both scored perfect scores. In short, they'd been matching each other's scores since the beginning, and even on the highest difficulty available.

"It absolutely is. I'm going to mop the floor with her. She's a clean freak, she'll enjoy that." Sakakura snickers as he selects their song by putting it on random.

"Let's face it, I'm the one with all the stamina. You think I can't keep up with you? Have you even seen me vacuum?"

"Everyone has seen you vacuum. You'd be doing it right now if you could."

"That's... Okay, fair. That's fair."

"...One more round. Winner takes all. Loser buys dinner."

"What if it's a tie?" Munakata asks on the sidelines.

"...Then we split the bill for dinner." Sakakura frowns.

"You're on." Yukizome chuckles.

The song begins and Munakata watches, along with a sizable crowd who'd been attracted by the two maniacs who were dancing it out. At first, there'd been a crowd of people who wanted to use the machine themselves. Then after seeing them dancing, they were more transfixed than upset.

The song is entirely too upbeat and pop for him to enjoy. But it's fast-paced and the arrows are flying up the screen so fast it seems impossible that anyone could hit them that quickly or accurately.

...But, everything is still coming up as PERFECT.

The aggresive pace continues on until the last arrow comes up, a long held note that the two both nail. It's almost as if they're mirror images of each other. The way they move is totally synchronized.

When it ends... They're tied again.

"Good job, you two." Munakata claps proudly and the rest of the crowd also claps.

Yukizome turns around and smiles, clearly embarrassed while Sakakura turns his head and frowns.

When they're done, the air outside feels colder by comparison, but the two of them are sweaty and flushed after their workout, so it's worse for them.

"...I can't believe we tied again." Sakakura grumbles.

"I'm pretty sure you would've tripped and fallen if we did a new game." She says laughing. "That's the kind of luck you have."

"Shut up."

"...Would've been more fun seeing Munakata up there."

"Oh, no." He says shaking his head. "I'm definitely no good at those kinds of games. I don't have the proper coordination."

"I find that hard to believe." Yukizome can't imagine Munakata being any less than perfect at it.

"...I'd get nervous and self-conscious. Or I'd be focusing on wondering if my feet were moving correctly to hit the buttons and end up sabotaging myself."

"Somehow that's... also really easy to imagine." She smiles. "But you shouldn't let that stop you."

"Yeah, you need to lighten up more." Sakakura gives him a hard slap on the back and it nearly sends him forward. "You're on vacation, you don't have to be perfect at everything. Look at Yukizome. She makes mistakes all the time!"

Yukizome gives him a hard kick in the ass.

...

Dinner had been another ordeal. Even though they'd bet that they would split the bill if the match ended in a draw, Yukizome still asked Sakakura to treat this time.

"...You are so stingy!"

"I thought I was going to win! But I need to save my spending money so I can get some souvenirs. I'll pay you back when we get home, I promise."

"You'd better."

Munakata had offered to pay, but the two of them reject him automatically. He's... also never had dinner quite this early. Is it even dinner when it's this early...? At the risk of sounding ungrateful, he keeps this to himself as his two friends talk to him and usually end up bickering.

...

By the time they get to the beach, it's mid afternoon, not quite dusk but getting close.

"Dude, take your shoes off." Sakakura says with a small chuckle. "You're gonna get sand in your shoes that way."

Yukizome and Sakakura had the presence of mind to wear sandals, but Munakata was...

"Did you bring your swimsuit?" Yukizome asks cheerfully. "I don't know if you guys wanted to go for a swim."

"This is my swimsuit." Sakakura says pointing at his shorts. Upon closer inspection, they actually are board shorts.

"I'm wearing mine under my clothes." Munakata says, nodding.

"...Yeah, there was no reason you had to dress up like business casual for the beach."

The words sting Munakata, but Sakakura doesn't notice his expression shift. He was doing it again. He was being weird. And standing out.

"Then, I'll get changed." Munakata looks like he's going to go towards the bathrooms.

"If you've got it on already, just change here."

"Is that... indecent?"

"I don't think anyone would care. You're a guy, and you're not getting naked after all. Guys take off their shirts all the time at the beach." Yukizome watches Sakakura blush at her words. There's an image. "Well, anyway, I'm going to change into mine."

They stake their claim in the sandy beach, lay down towels and sit there.

Munakata awkwardly shuffles out of his shoes before nervously pulling down his pants to reveal the swimming trunks underneath. That... must have been uncomfortable to wear under his regular clothes.

Once he's down to a white T-shirt and his swimming trunks, he actually looks like he's feeling better. They put his other clothes and shoes in the bag for the towels so they don't get sandy.

"...Are you okay? You look nervous." Sakakura smiles somewhat.

"I... I don't really know what's acceptable or unacceptable in this kind of situation."

"What situation?"

"You know. A day at the beach."

"We're just hanging out. It's not like you have to meet with the Prime Minister." Sakakura punches him lightly in the arm but it still hurts a little more than Sakakura intends. "You just worry about relaxing. Actually, no. Don't worry. Just relax."

"..."

"..." There's a tense moment. "I can feel you worrying about relaxing."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Yukizome's gonna think I was bullying you." He shakes his head.

"...I meant... about the other night. With... the drinking."

"Oh, that? Don't worry. Yukizome somehow scrubbed the smell out. I don't know how exactly, she's some kind of demon or... witch. Demon witch..."

"I've never been drunk before."

"Trust me, I gathered." Sakakura smiles. "But you did good. Your first night of drinking... first hangover... First time throwing up on someone as an adult. You accomplished a lot."

"...If my parents knew..." Munakata sighs. The mood has soured now. "They would never let me hear the end of it."

"...Yeah? ...So, don't tell them."

"I wasn't going to. They'd say you and Yukizome are bad influences on me. They'd probably tell me not to be friends with you anymore."

"I can't say they're wrong. I am a bad influence on you." He smiles sadly, and then continues quietly. "You meet me, start kissing boys, drinking... I bet your parents would hate me."

"They would." Sakakura wasn't expecting such a blunt answer. "You're the kind of person they hate the most."

"Well. There goes me asking you out on a date..." He mutters under his breath.

"What?"

"Forget it. But... Try and not focus on it." He says with a forced smile. "You didn't get arrested or murdered, so I think you did just fine."

"It was stupid of me. I should have known better. I _do_ know better." He knows it's weird to feel guilty, but this is something he would normally feel compelled to tell his parents. And he would accept their punishment in the matter. All of that was just how things were supposed to be. "...Sakakura, how do you do it?"

"Huh? Do... Do what?"

"You're always doing things. You're not afraid at all. It's like you do everything with no regrets."

"..." Sakakura grimaces. "You're... If that's a joke, it's not funny. Don't make fun of me..."

"I wasn't." He realizes he's... offended him? Somehow? "That wasn't my intention at all."

"Have you fucking met me?! All... All I have are regrets and fears!" He's louder than he wants to be. "...Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"..."

"Take a long hard look at me. Do I really seem that brave to you? I... I didn't even have the courage to tell you face to face about me."

"But you did."

"After I was caught! That doesn't count. You had to... literally chase me down and beat it out of me."

"I did not beat you up."

"I'm not strong. I'm not brave. I told you so in my letter..." He says, quietly staring ahead at the horizon. There are people swimming and playing in the sand and the water. "...I'm not like that at all. I don't... I don't like who I am."

"...I don't like who I am either." Munakata takes a small deep breath. "I don't understand people, they confuse me. I don't react well to things, and I have no sense of humor. I'm... only confident in some aspects of my life. But I do everything people ask me to do for the most part. Even when I don't want to."

"That's totally not true." He smiles. "You're a stubborn ass all the time."

"But... That's only because you know me. Around people who I don't know very well I... don't want them to dislike me. There are times when they ask me to do things or take control of things... And I want to tell them to do it themselves. Sometimes they'll come and ask me questions even if I have nothing to do with it. I want to say, 'Please, figure it out on your own. I have things to do.' ...But I'm not brave enough to say things like that."

"...Even your rude inner monologue is really polite." Sakakura laughs.

"But I always do it in the end. Because I think, 'Maybe this is how you foster hope'... or something."

"Or something...?"

"...Maybe someone is really in need of help. Maybe they're at their wit's end, and I'm helping them off a ledge, so to speak. If I turn them down, am I condemning them to despair... Those kinds of things. There are times when I wonder if I'm doing so well at things because I actually care or if it's because it's what's expected of me."

"...What are we talking about, the mood looks kind of heavy." Yukizome comes back in her swimsuit, hair tied back tightly. "...Sakakura are you bullying him?!"

"I didn't do anything!" Sakakura rolls his eyes before looking to Munakata. "You can't just assume responsibility for everyone's issues. At some point they're going to have to get their own shit together. There's only so much you can do. And you, of all people, could stand to be a little more selfish."

"Sakakura's right. You're always worrying about others, but you also need to worry about yourself."

"Except all he does is worry." Sakakura mumbles under his breath.

"You don't need to be your best at all times. It's not humanly possible."

"..." Munakata looks away. "I feel like I'm making trouble. We should talk about something else."

"You're not causing trouble." Sakakura says quickly. "And... Really, everyone has things they don't like about themselves."

"..."

"Like... Well..." Sakakura groans. "I... I would rather not be the way that I am. You know...? Just... I'd like to hold hands with someone and not feel like people are going to laugh at me... Or... be in a relationship with someone and not feel like every hug or kiss in public is a battle waiting to happen. I wish... I wish things were easier."

"I have things I'd like to change too." Yukizome smiles, her tone has mellowed now. "Nothing as big as Sakakura's but... You know. Wishing things had been different... Wishing I looked a little different. Thinking about things I've done that weren't so nice, or the way I've hurt people without meaning to... I think everyone feels like that."

"...So, welcome to being human, you hope freak."

"..." Munakata blinks slowly. "Hope freak?"

"Don't worry about it." Yukizome gives an evil grin. "We'll bury Sakakura in the sand later."

"You will not."

"And then wait until the tide comes in."

"That's just murder at that point."

"Come on, we should build sandcastles! Or get our feet wet."

"...Is it okay to leave our things here, though?" Munakata asks genuinely concerned.

"I don't think anyone'll steal our stuff. But... Sakakura, you get to be the guard dog while Munakata and I go play."

"Why am I the guard dog?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you know, I've been recently working on a DR original story. It's set with 16 original characters in a Killing Game situation set between the Tragedy/Fall of Hope's Peak and just before the First Killing Game. I think it'll be fun to work with some original characters again! And you can expect some cameos from other DR characters (1, 2, and the Future Foundation)
> 
> If you're interested in following along it's Unlucky Madrigal, so come let me know what you think!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8266714/chapters/18939220


	11. Easy Now, Watch It Go

Back at school, everything is abysmally hot.

It's a summer service day. They're technically still on break, but they'd had to attend school for some kind of... something...? Sakakura wasn't listening. He'd thought about ditching the whole thing, but Munakata would have known and... He had made the bet that he would attend classes so...

Sakakura sits with his head in his hands, waiting for them to say they can leave. Wasn't this going to be just a half day or...?

It was no surprise that Munakata would end up being there later than everyone else. But still... There was no one else around. Just the two of them waiting in the classroom, waiting for everyone else... Or waiting to be told to go home.

Communication at Hope's Peak was terrible. No one ever knew what they were supposed to do.

Boredly, Sakakura flips through his phone. Nothing interesting.

But he does find an article about Munakata... Maybe it isn't a good idea to have "Munakata Kyosuke" as a recent search? And definitely he shouldn't be bookmarking things. He's about to show the article to Munakata to see if he can get a shy or modest reaction and tease him but...

Munakata is fast asleep with his head cradled in his hands. He's not a noisy sleeper in general. He never has been... not... that Sakakura has much evidence of that...

Just the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

He must be exhausted.

"So, even you can't take this heat, huh.."

Although it's maybe not the best or brightest move in the world, he stares at Munakata, a smile now on his lips. There's something... really cute about him. Well... There always is, he says to himself.

And then... furtively... as if it's a secret desire... 

He pulls out his phone and takes a picture as quickly and quietly as he can. Ohh... It's a really nice picture! He immediately saves it. And then sends the picture to Yukizome, partly to brag and talk about it together later... and partly so that she'll have the picture in case something happens to his phone.

And another picture just in case.

He would have gone for three, but now this was going into a weird stalker territory he really didn't want to go down.

"...She's gonna lose her shit when she sees that picture." He says softly to himself.

He can't keep himself from staring. He just can't help it. The way he looks... The way he acts.

"I'm jealous of you. But... I also really want you for myself. You know that, right...? Or... maybe you don't. You're pretty oblivious when it comes to how people feel. But... that just means I need to be more direct." He smiles and then begins to frown embarrassed. "Why am I talking to myself, this is stupid."

Slowly, he moves his hand, gliding it over the wood of the table until... He reaches out and touches Munakata's arm, gently. Lovingly.

Seeing Munakata momentarily stir and then mumble in his sleep is... also really cute. Sakakura feels himself begin to smile as he gently squeezes Munakata's arm.

...

And then he realizes the person in the doorway.

At once, he pulls his hand back and is nearly incandescent with his blushing.

"Headmaster Tengan..." He says quickly, maybe too sharply.

"..." There's a momentary pause from Tengan. He obviously just saw what was happening and yet... He suddenly smiles coyly. "Ah, youth in full blossom. Make sure to treasure these days... Also... The school day has ended, you two may leave now..."

"Thank you... Sir." He says, a little mortified.

Tengan gives a small smile. Sakakura has no idea how to take that. He... Is he telling him good luck? Or...

Well, he's not condemning him. That's something.

"Holy shit... I need to be more careful. You need to learn some fucking self-control..." He says, himself, directed at himself.

"Mm...? What'd I do...?" Munakata stirs and sits up, rubbing his eyes.

"Nothing don't worry about it. Tengan said we can go."

"...The Headmaster?" Munakata immediately jolts awake. "I fell asleep. I... I was sleeping in class."

"You were not. There's no class. They put us in a hot room and you fell asleep. Unclench."

"..." Munakata is obviously still beating himself up about it, but keeps it to himself. His face says it all though. "...How long was I asleep?"

"Maybe like... ten, fifteen minutes? Twenty at most?"

"...That's... not so bad... I suppose." Munakata tries to relax himself. It's very barely working.

"Hey... Kyosuke..." He says, trying out Munakata's first name. It feels weird.

"What?"

"...What's your idea of a good first date? What... What would you consider a fun first date idea?"

"...I don't know. I don't really date. Anything's fine as long as you have fun with the other person, right?"

Munakata's answer is so direct and so vague at the same time.

"...Yeah. I guess. Thanks."

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm asking for a friend, what do you think."

"...Yukizome is going out on a date with you?"

"..." This man. "...You can't actually be that stupid. It's not possible. You're too smart to be this stupid."

"...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you know, I've been recently working on a DR original story. It's set with 16 original characters in a Killing Game situation set between the Tragedy/Fall of Hope's Peak and just before the First Killing Game. I think it'll be fun to work with some original characters again! And you can expect some cameos from other DR characters (1, 2, and the Future Foundation)
> 
> If you're interested in following along it's Unlucky Madrigal, so come let me know what you think!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8266714/chapters/18939220


	12. I Need You So Much Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't heard, I'm now working on another fic - an original story set in the DR universe set between the beginning of the Tragedy and the First Killing Game involving some original characters.  
> So if you're interested (and frankly if you're a fan of how I write) come on over and read Unlucky Madrigal!
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8266714/chapters/18939220

August 22nd.

They're still on summer break, but Munakata lives in the school dormitories year round... and so does Sakakura.

Even so, Sakakura fidgets nervously. Today is Munakata's birthday and... He wasn't sure what kind of gift he should have gotten.

Of course, Yukizome had made a cake. And of course it was perfect and delicious and exactly what Munakata would have enjoyed but...

What do you get for someone like Munakata when you have no real talents. Even asking Munakata earlier beforehand had done nothing.

"You don't have to get me anything." He'd said. "Anything you get me will be fine."

The two of them are in Munakata's dorm room. It's not exactly spacious, but it's not cramped either. Everything is very neatly arranged, books on small shelves, papers in clean stacks, clothing folded in drawers or hung neatly in the closet with an ironing board. Everything beautifully in place and immaculate.

"..."

Sakakura stares down at his feet while the two of them study. Of course Munakata wouldn't want to do anything fancy for his birthday. That was just the way he was, wasn't it. If they'd done something special, he would've gone along with it, but what was it that Munakata actually wanted...?

"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. I..." Sakakura says at once, which surprises Munakata, who's in the headspace of chemistry and balancing valence electrons. "...I don't know what kinds of things you like. Would you want a shirt or... a jacket or... I can treat you to dinner or a movie or both..."

Munakata watches an embarrassed Sakakura spiral.

"...You don't have to get me anything. I told you that."

"It's your birthday, though. I should... I should have gotten you at least like... even cookies or something. I mean, buy them, I can't bake for shit."

"..." Munakata smiles pleasantly. Sakakura notices now that it's not his normal smile. It's... a cold and lonely mask. He... He's sad? "I'm happy you thought of me."

"Of course I thought about you. I've been... freaking out about what to get you for over a week. And of course Yukizome knows exactly what to get immediately and I just... I freaked out and spun my wheels and now there's no more time..."

Munakata is blushing to himself. But his happy smile seems to be unexpected for him, since he really doesn't know how to handle it.

"...You're fine. It's alright, really."

"Tomorrow, pick a place you want to eat. I'm buying. We can bring Yukizome too if you want." She can pay for herself, he thinks futilely, as if that's how it's actually going to go.

"..."

"Okay?"

"...Sure."

Munakata goes back to chemistry, and Sakakura pretends to understand what elements can bond with other ones before it starts to get late.

Their studying comes to an end once the sky is so dark that they have to turn on the lights. Sakakura yawns.

"...I should probably go back to my room. Let you get some rest."

"Wait. You..." Munakata says quickly and then backs away. "...You're sure?"

"Huh? About what?"

"That you should go back? I don't mind you staying longer."

"Yeah, but you're being too nice of a host." He laughs. "I shouldn't impose. It's rude, right?"

"...No. It wouldn't be. I'm seriously saying you can stay as... as long as you'd like."

"..."

There's a moment of empty silence there as Sakakura stares at him. He... He's saying it like that, but does that mean he really wants him to stay there? But isn't he just overstaying his welcome at that point...? It's not right.

"...Don't go. If you don't want to." Munakata says it again.

"You don't want me to go...?" Sakakura asks calmly. Is that what he's saying? "...I don't want to misunderstand you."

"..." Munakata looks to him seriously. "I don't have many friends."

"Wh...?"

"And my birthday always falls on summer break. I don't get the chance to spend it with friends very often. And my parents never really did anything special for my birthday, so it was... normally just me... I... I don't want to be alone on my birthday. Even... Even I feel that way..."

"...!" Sakakura flinches at the realization. Munakata has always been alone on his birthdays...? "Of course I'll stay, then. I..."

"You can stay the night. I don't want to be alone... Am I being too pushy?"

"N-No! No, of course not but... I didn't bring any clothes or... stuff."

"Oh." Simply. Sadly.

"Wait. I'll go back and get some things and... and I'll stay over. Okay?"

"..." Munakata looks at him questioningly. "Are you sure...?"

"I don't mind! And no one should be alone on their birthday. I just need simple things like... I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? I am coming back!"

Munakata watches Sakakura bolt out of the dorm room at full speed, confused, but maybe a little happy.

He can see Sakakura sprinting from his window. He slowly looks to his phone.

There's a birthday message from Yukizome and some goofy happy pictures of her, and a few of the cake, and some pictures of the three of them eating the cake. And his wall of messages from Sakakura as he invited him over to study today too, and any additional plans.

Expectantly, he waits with his phone. His parents home number is there. He could call them but... They haven't called him yet. Or sent a message. Isn't it too pathetic to call someone in order to get a birthday message? He wonders. He expects a message from them, presumably from both of them, a simple 'Happy Birthday' on or within three days of his birthday. Usually no exclamation mark, just the words and a period.

Maybe they'd forgotten this year? Or he'd get it in a few days...?

He looks around his room. There's not much sign of actual life, or personality, he notes. He doesn't like to hang things on the wall, afraid he won't like it. He doesn't have pictures of people or family, or even plants.

Everything is just...

He sits there, alone, at his little table. Waiting. This is what his birthday would have been without Yukizome and Sakakura.

...

Sakakura rushes back as fast as humanly possible, sweating quite a lot in the August heat but he brought a change of clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush, and other essentials so it's fine.

"I... I'm back... I... so... so many stairs..." He breathes out exhausted as he closes the door behind him. He tosses his stuff, which is in a red gym bag, to one side. "Sorry I..."

Munakata looks up at him, with his phone in his hand looking for messages he still hasn't gotten yet. There are tears on his face, but he hadn't realized he was crying.

"...You're back."

"I... I said I was coming back... you..." Sakakura moves over to him at once. "What happened?"

"What? Nothing. I..." He wipes his face. "It was nothing."

"...If you think I can let this go, you're crazy."

"Really. It was nothing. I'm going to get ready for bed." He says with a small smile and closes the curtains on his window.

And then without warning, he starts to pull off his shirt. He does it partly to keep Sakakura from pursuing the conversation, knowing how this will play out. It's not one he wants to have. Not with him. Not now. It... It's a little manipulative. He'll apologize later, he thinks.

Sakakura is stunned that Munakata does it so openly, but... seeing the smooth pale skin... the curve of his physique... the way his hips look... the width of his shoulders... The pants go down next.

He's bright red again before he turns around.

"H-Hey... A little warning..."

"You're an athlete. You don't see men undress in locker rooms...?"

"I-It's different when it's you... I mean... I saw your underwear and everything."

"Of course you did. Because I'm wearing underwear?"

"That's not the point."

"You can get undressed too if you want. I won't stare at you."

"...I know you're too dense to be teasing me, but it feels like you're teasing me."

After promising he wouldn't watch Sakakura get undressed for bed, Munakata smiles slightly as Sakakura changes into some impromptu pajamas - gym shorts and a tank top.

"...Can I look yet?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm decent." Sakakura says with a small blush.

"...That's a shame. I wondered what color your underwear were." He jokes and watches Sakakura light up red again.

"...They're blue if you must know."

"Huh. We match then."

"..." Sakakura ignores his flirtatious jokes. "I'll sleep on the floor."

"The bed's fine. I won't do anything to you." Munakata says simply.

"That..." His concern was that he'd do something to Munakata but... "That's not the issue."

"Why? Do you snore? I don't mind."

"You..." He facepalms. "You don't get it at all. I'm... attracted to... you. Men. Why would you want me in your bed?"

"Are you forgetting that we've kissed? Because I haven't." Munakata simply stares at him, confused. "I don't mind you liking me at all. Have I given you any indication otherwise?"

...

"...W-Well... No..." But that's not the issue at all. Or... maybe it is. Maybe that's exactly the issue. "Come on, don't tease me. You don't want someone like me in your bed."

"If you don't come to bed, I will be very upset with you." He says with a small frown. "You're being very confusing and it's late."

Great. Now he's being bossed around by the little dork.

At least Munakata isn't wearing heavy pajamas to sleep. It's just a simple pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He realizes that these are Munakata's gym clothes.

Maybe he needs pajamas...? That could be a good gift. Right?

Getting guys gifts is probably easier than girls. You go practical, right? Is that how it works...? Something they'd actually use. And... if Munakata wore something he picked out it...

The bed is a bit larger than he expects, but he moves to the position of big spoon since Munakata's already picked the side of the bed away from the wall. He... doesn't mind it at all.

As Munakata lies on his side, Sakakura watches the rise and fall of his breathing.

Slowly, he moves into a sleeping position from where he can see the back of Munakata's head. His hand slowly... slowly... coming to rest on Munakata's arm. As if he'd anticipated it, Munakata pulls the arm forward until he's wrapped it around him. It's a brazen move, and one Sakakura doesn't expect. Munakata backs into him more.

Now they're... actually spooning.

"You're... sure this is okay...?"

"You're not doing anything I don't want you to. But... Could I have a kiss from you? That could be a good birthday present... I think..."

"I-Is... that what you want...?"

"Yes. Do you want that too?"

"Well... I-I mean, yeah but... If..." Sakakura watches Munakata turn over onto his back, and can see Munakata is blushing as well, brighter than Sakakura for once. "..."

That's a face he won't forget.

"...Please, kiss me then."

"Y-Yeah..." Thankfully he'd remembered to brush his teeth when he'd stopped back at his place.

Leaning down over him, Sakakura moves his hand to press onto Munakata's chest. He can feel Munakata's heart beating so quickly, he... He must be nervous? This would be his first birthday kiss.

The kiss starts off slow and gentle, but... neither one of them pull away. It only deepens and... before they even know what's happening Sakakura has managed to end up practically on top of him, and now they can't stop kissing each other.

Munakata smiles and reaches out to smooth away some of Sakakura's sweaty bangs that have stuck to his forehead.

"Thank you. I... enjoyed this birthday."

"Good. I-I'm glad..." Sakakura kisses him again, and Munakata has... where is the hand going...? Why is it going under his shirt...?

"...Is it okay to touch...?"

"J-Just..."

Munakata can't get a coherent answer from him, so he gently leans up and the other hand... moves to Sakakura's waist band before moving under the gym shorts, and... now he's cupping him. Fondling. That might be a better word for it but...

Sakakura gently pulls his hand away from there, flushed and breathing heavy.

"Should I not...?"

"I... I..." Sakakura would like him to but... "Not below the waist. You're... I don't want you to regret this."

"Huh?"

"You... You said you had a good birthday. So... If we start something and you don't like it... I don't... want to ruin your birthday."

"You worry about strange things. But... You're worried about me. And I really appreciate that. Thank you. I'm sorry to have done that without your permission first."

"N-No. It's..." Sakakura wants to say he'll probably be having dreams about that touch but that's a weird thing to say to anyone, isn't it. "...How about for your birthday I take you out on a date...?"

"A date?"

"Well... I already said pick some place you'd like to eat. So... Maybe tomorrow?"

"...I..." Munakata blushes. "...Could we reschedule that...? I'd... If we go on a date, I'd like more time to mentally prepare myself."

He can feel Munakata's heart fluttering like crazy.

"Yeah, sure. But... You do want to go on a date?"

"...Yes."

Sakakura chuckles and kisses him again. Somehow kissing and touching and physical things is less embarrassing than a date? What a weird guy he's fallen for.

"You tell me when you're ready. I... I'm not great at this but..." Sakakura sighs and leans off of him. "I... Well... You know."

"...I do? I don't think I understood what that meant."

"Neither do I, go to sleep." Sakakura mumbles, blushing.

"...But it's hot. And I'm all..." He looks flustered, as if he wants to take his shirt off but can't. He tugs at the bottom of his shirt. "...Well, you know... Uncomfortable..."

"Yeah, me too. Don't talk about it, it sounds dirty."

It's going to be a while before he can calm down enough to be okay being the big spoon without... problems.

"Being sweaty is dirty?" He furrows a brow. "Why is that dirty?"

Sakakura simply can't with this idiot.

"...Go to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next day, he gets a text message from Yukizome...
> 
> \- - -
> 
> Yukizome: hey  
> Sakakura: what?  
> Yukizome: that's rude  
> Yukizome: how'd studying go?  
> Sakakura: fine  
> Yukizome: ( ง ᵒ̌皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃  
> Yukizome: look it u  
> Sakakura: ???  
> Sakakura: why this???  
> Yukizome: what'd you study?  
> Yukizome: was it anatomy~?  
> Sakakura: [typing]  
> Sakakura: [stops typing]  
> Yukizome: I SAW YOU TYPING AND STOP  
> Yukizome: what did you do  
> Yukizome: what did you do  
> Yukizome: what did you do  
> Yukizome: what did you do  
> Yukizome: what did you do  
> Sakakura: quit spamming me you spazz  
> Yukizome: tell me  
> Yukizome: Щ(◣д◢)Щ  
> Sakakura: nope  
> Yukizome: did you touch his butt?!  
> Sakakura: why are you like this  
> Yukizome: did he touch your butt?!  
> Sakakura: [typing]  
> Sakakura: [stops typing]  
> Yukizome: omg  
> Yukizome: omG  
> Yukizome OMG  
> Sakakura: it's not what you're thinking  
> Yukizome: LIES 


	13. Give Me Danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you know, I've been recently working on a DR original story. It's set with 16 original characters in a Killing Game situation set between the Tragedy/Fall of Hope's Peak and just before the First Killing Game. I think it'll be fun to work with some original characters again! And you can expect some cameos from other DR characters (1, 2, and the Future Foundation)
> 
> If you're interested in following along it's Unlucky Madrigal, so come let me know what you think!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8266714/chapters/18939220

"Your form's sloppy. You're gonna bust your hand that way."

"...What's the proper way to do this?"

"Here. Watch."

Sakakura laughs and moves in front of Munakata, smacking the boxing gloves together before hitting the punching bag.

Once he hits the bag, he lets his hand stay in the punching pose as if it's a freeze frame.

"..."

"You see? You gotta watch your form. Or you get punched the fuck out. Or you break your hand. Both are bad."

"They sound bad." Munakata nods.

"Now let's see you try."

...

Munakata had asked Sakakura to teach him a bit about how boxing worked, at least so that when he was watching Sakakura fight, in person or on TV, he'd know what exactly was going on. There were so many terms and forms he didn't really understand.

All he had known was that you had to punch people.

Instead, it had gone... this way.

With Sakakura giving him some private lessons in the gym on the last day of their summer break.

Sakakura in the boxer shorts and a tank top... And... Munakata in shorts... And no shirt.

And now he was... unpleasantly sweaty.

"...This hurts my hands."

"Yeah, you build up calluses. And you strengthen your hands. It hurts at first, but when you're good you don't even feel it sometimes. Bare knuckle shit... That'll fuck up your hands." He laughs.

"..." Munakata looks up at him. "Is this fun for you?"

"Huh? Boxing? Sure it is. I've been doing it for years."

"I mean with me. Is... Are you having fun?" He looks up at him seriously.

"Of course. Why?"

"Because I asked you to teach me. Is it something you're enjoying?"

"...You gotta work on your self-confidence, dude." He laughs. "If I wasn't having fun, I'd tell you."

And besides, he'd gotten Munakata shirtless. Although regulations did say professional matches required you to be shirtless, he... maybe... possibly... definitely deceived Munakata into being shirtless.

"You're sure?"

"...The view's nice too." Sakakura blushes a bit saying it.

He'd ordinarily be wary, but no one else was around. Most people didn't want to be in a gym on a day off, especially students.

"What view?"

"You, dumbass. You." Sakakura rolls his eyes. He's very hard to flirt with.

"Oh. That's why you wanted me shirtless. I thought so."

"Huh...?" Sakakura can't hide his guilty face.

"...I figured it was something you did on purpose. You're not shirtless." He smirks. "I went along with it, because you seemed like you would enjoy it."

"W-Well... Anyway. Your form needs work, but you've got a good physique and you're probably good at footwork and stuff."

"I like your physique better." Munakata smiles.

Sakakura instantly turns away in a blush.

When he turns back, he sees Munakata moving toward him and then suddenly he feels himself kissed. It's so surprising, he doesn't know how to react, even as Munakata pushes him back a little into the punching bag.

"W-Wait... We... We're in the open."

Munakata's not really listening, and the way he's using his leg to push in between his like he's... And... Well, now he's absolutely touching him with his leg.

"Should we move out of sight?"

"Yeah... A-Alright."

Moving aside, they duck out of sight behind some lockers. Munakata struggles to get the gloves off, and Sakakura sort of snickers at him.

"Having trouble?"

"...A little." He says timidly as Sakakura has him up against the wall of the lockers. "Can you help me?"

"...I could. But maybe I won't." Sakakura chuckles and kisses him, harder than before. He's excited to try Munakata's leg trick on him as revenge, and it seems to be working.

"Is that one of your fetishes?"

"One of my what?!"

"Like on your search history."

...

Sakakura stares blankly at him.

"...What did you do."

"Huh?"

"Were you looking at my search history?"

"No. But that's what they say people do. Look up porn and delete their search histories." His placid expression gives way to an impish smirk. "...You look flustered. Is what you're into embarrassing?"

"You... You got a smart mouth."

"I assume it's gay porn, right?"

"We're not having this discussion." 

Sakakura is bright red as Munakata seems to have complete control over him, even without his hands, even pressed against a wall.

"I've done some research, but I found a lot of it confusing. Maybe you could explain that to me too."

"...I don't know where to start with that. You did, 'research'...?"

"How men work. Together. You've looked up something like that before, right?" Munakata kisses at Sakakura's exposed collarbone and he nearly jumps. A hand loops around his waist to pull him closer... "What pleases men, how you can be pleased by them, grooming and hygiene... It was research."

"A-And... You were doing that because...?"

"...The porn was unrealistic and I don't think it helped me understand things."

"You were watching porn?!"

"I have a virus scanner."

"..." This man is going to be the death of him. "And... Why do you think I'd be able to explain things..."

"Because we can practice."

"..." Now he's absolutely dead. He's died and this is some weird dream. "...I... I'd rather date you first..."

He's really not used to being flirted with. And he's definitely not used to being propositioned so boldly. Or at all, actually.

"Yes. That was my plan. Because a first date leads to other dates and..." He seems to get serious. "I don't want to be seen as inexperienced."

"Worry about the first date first not... not... that." Sakakura has never felt so warm. "We might not even like each other on the date. And then..."

"But I do like you, Sakakura. I enjoy spending time with you, and kissing you. I always have a good time with you. And you're always... confident. I'm sure there will be other dates after the first and..." Munakata looks humble. Meek. Shy? "...I don't want you to get bored of me."

How someone can tease him and break his heart so quickly is really just a mystery. Seeing Munakata self-conscious... Well, it makes sense for someone as meticulous as he is. Such a perfectionist... would have a hard time not being good at something. Especially for his benefit... maybe?

"You... You don't have to be a... a porn star to be a good date..." He says it maybe a little too bluntly as he takes Munakata's hands in his. "B-Besides we both... Well... if you've got no experience then we both... have no... experience."

"Ah. So the first time would be bad for both of us. Interesting."

"..." Again, a total curve ball. "Why does it have to be bad?"

"That's what they say. Your first time is usually bad. Or awkward. And with men, often painful."

"You've got to stop reading dirty magazines as research. Maybe... Maybe focus on the first date...? You know... First?"

"..." Munakata seems to withdraw then. "Was I too eager? I wanted to be prepared and informed. I didn't realize I was being overzealous."

"You think too much." He kisses Munakata's forehead and then his lips... And then he returns the favor of feeling Munakata's chest, which makes him gasp. "You okay?"

"I'm sweaty." He says, a little embarrassed.

"Yeah."

"But... Is that dirty? You made it seem like... The other night..."

"..." And in that moment he prayed for death. "...You're making this very hard."

"You're hard? ...I am too."

That information is too much for Sakakura to deal with as Munakata blushes shyly and discretely tries adjusting himself.

"...Hit the showers. You and I are going to have to discuss what's dirty and what isn't."

"Before that, can we do more kissing and touching? Above the waist. I liked watching you teach me."

"...Yeah. That's... That's fine. Careful though..."

Munakata kisses him, inquisitively. He must be trying to take more initiative, and... it's... working. He shows Munakata how to take off the boxing gloves, and then there's touching and...

There's a heat between them as they kiss, but... it might be the literal heat of August.

Before things can heat up too much, Sakakura gives him a final kiss before shoving him towards the showers which thankfully have stalls, otherwise, he might really see just what an impact Munakata has on him.

"By the way, when we discuss what's dirty will we be naked?"

"Wh-Why would we be naked?!"

"...We're not talking in the showers together? There was something about dropping the soap I meant to ask you about later. You seemed like you would know."

But death would not come. There was no relief in sight. Only endless blushing, and terrible innuendos, and a thousand different misunderstandings involving search histories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, most likely Sakakura saved a pic of Munakata shirtless in boxing stuff because who wouldn't? Also, he maybe sent it to Yukizome who lost her mind.


	14. Find Out Who Am I Too

Munakata awkwardly brushes his hair and stares in the mirror at himself. He can't seem to be happy with how his hair looks. Sakakura deserves a good first date with a man.

But... No matter how he looks at it, he's the one who's inexperienced. Munakata has never truly gone on a date at all. He had spent time with friends, and briefly had maybe dates with girls who invited him to coffee but there had never really been a spark with them.

And it was only later that he found out that they were intended to be dates and he had missed the signs. But... Sakakura had asked him out on a date. An actual date. And had let him decide what kind of date it would be, and where they'd go.

He hoped he wasn't misinterpreting the signs, but how could he have been? He'd thought about calling or texting Sakakura to make sure it was a romantic date, but that seemed silly. What kind of person needs to call another person to make sure the invitation to a date was real?

...

So, of course he does call Sakakura to ask, and yes, it is a real date. And he's pretty sure Sakakura is laughing on the other end of the line, but in a nice way.

He hopes his clothes are adequate. They'd decided to just go to a cafe, something simple, and Sakakura did like sweets so... It would be a good date for him.

He hoped his heart would stop pounding so hard, though. He was... nervous. And it made his stomach hurt. Maybe sweet things wouldn't be the way to go...?

Unfortunately, research had not helped this time. There was too much conflicting information.

**Tell him about yourself!**

That was just stupid advice. Munakata had no idea who he was, and Sakakura knew most of his basic life story. There was no new information to give him, unless he wanted the intricacies of his parents' work lives, and that was hardly stimulating conversation.

**Don't have sex on the first date... Or do! It's your choice!**

...There had been two prevailing views on this. Most of it said that sexual things were not okay for a first date, and a few said they were fine but to not expect a relationship or a second date. And yet, he and Sakakura had... Not sex, but something like encounters. He'd been close enough to Sakakura to feel his muscles and get a pretty good idea of what Sakakura would look like naked.

The sex thing filled him with desire and anxiety. Because maybe they would have sex tonight...? No. That would be too presumptuous. And... he'd showered, but there was more hygiene involved in that. Should he have prepared for it...? There was new anxiety bubbling up in him.

**Wait before texting him after the first date**

Again, stupid advice. Sakakura was the first person he'd want to speak with about how the date went. Why would he have to wait? Was it to play coy and leave him wanting more? It seemed insincere with how he was feeling.

He could speak with Yukizome about it, but hearing that Sakakura had a good time... hearing it from Sakakura himself... that was what he wanted. 

...

Research had been a mistake. He was now more hyper-aware of all of his decisions, from clothing - which he tried to make purposefully casual - to how he would act.

It also didn't help that he was imagining the disappointment on his parents' faces, imagining how they would react to finding out he had gone out with someone on a date instead of spending the evening studying... never mind that there was no class tomorrow.

They wouldn't even care he was dating a man. They'd care more that it was Sakakura... Or would an up and coming boxer with a real chance of becoming the World Heavyweight Champion be an appropriate suitor? ...No, Sakakura didn't have the breeding or personality they'd look for.

Munakata nearly jumps when his phone beeps.

Sakakura's message says he's on his way over to pick him up.

They'd gone over some of the details beforehand, mostly because of Munakata's incessant researching had given him anxiety. Yes, he would pick Munakata up, and they would walk to the cafe. If it rained, they would get a taxi. No, he didn't have to pay, Sakakura was fine paying for them, and no, he wouldn't let Munakata pay because Sakakura had plenty of money from matches. And yes, he would drop Munakata back off at the dorms.

Munakata takes a deep breath and just... sort of stands, staring at the door. He's as ready as he's going to be. Casual clothes, for once. Thankfully Sakakura had bought him some clothes for his birthday, presumably sleepwear but they worked well in all situations. And his casual pants, which he didn't wear often enough, were more comfortable than regular slacks. He was still wearing a cardigan though... it was starting to get chilly now that it was September.

When he hears the knock on the door he makes sure he has his phone as he opens the door.

Of course Sakakura looks good. A green v-neck t-shirt, jeans... He... looks very muscular in regular clothes. He finds himself staring awkwardly.

"Hey, nerd. You ready?" Sakakura is lightly pink with a blush... For once it's Munakata who's bright red and not sure how to react.

"Uh... Yes. I'm ready. I was waiting."

"Sorry, was I running late?"

"No. I mean... I was looking forward to this. So I got ready early."

"..." Sakakura seems a little embarrassed to hear him say that. "Did you check out the menu?"

"Um... No. Should I have?" Had he failed to his homework? That was a panic-inducing thought.

"Nah, I just wasn't sure what kind of things you liked. I still haven't figured out a flavor for you."

"Oh. Well... Anything is fine. We could share. I'm curious what you like too."

"Well, if it's me..." Sakakura laughs a bit. "Sometimes I got a pretty intense sweet tooth. I don't really get to eat candy or cakes or stuff that often since I'm usually on a diet, but it just makes the urge stronger."

"Denying yourself makes you want it more?"

"..." That sounded dirty, but he's sure that's an accident. "Uh... Yeah. Kind of. Come on. I've been there before, I can point out something you'd like. Vanilla's always a good choice for something... Maybe you'd like an eclair...?"

...

The cafe is actually quite pleasant. It's something like a dessert cafe. The perfect place for someone who likes sweet things. Sakakura gets coffee, and Munakata gets tea. Seeing how much cream and sugar he puts in his coffee is surprising.

And then they set about trying to decide on a dessert.

"Why not chocolate?"

"Well... I dunno, chocolate makes me think of romance. Like Valentine's Day stuff. But if you want chocolate, go for it." He says encouragingly.

"I meant for you. It is a date." 

"..." Sakakura blushes and nods. "Y-Yeah, that... That does make sense."

"You'd probably like the cheesecake." Munakata smiles.

"I thought I was supposed to be helping you figure out what you wanted." He laughs a bit awkwardly.

"Well... I don't know."

"You should try a few of the entremets."

"...I don't know what that is." Munakata stares at the description.

"They're little layered cakes with a bunch of different flavors. Just order a few, they're small. Plus you get to try different flavors."

"...You're surprisingly knowledgeable about all of this."

"..." He looks embarrassed. "I mean, I like more complex flavors than just sweet but... I'd eat sweet things all the time if I could. But then I'd get fat."

"I can't imagine you fat."

"That's why I work out so much." He shrugs. "That and the boxing thing."

"...You make it sound like you working out is so you offset your intake of sweet food."

"I gotta keep up my muscle mass." He gives a small flex of his arm and Munakata feels himself redden.

...

The entremets are good, but some of the flavor combinations are a little strange. It's definitely something Sakakura would like. The chocolate cheesecake is... maybe a little too rich for his blood, but it is tasty. They end up sharing most of it, but Sakakura can eat more than he can.

"I think next time, we'll stick with crepes. Your tastes are a little finicky."

"...Crepes?"

"You've never had them?"

"...I know what they are, but you mean stuffed with something?"

"Yeah, usually some kind of whipped cream or fruit. They're not as heavy." He preemptively stops the next question he thinks is coming. "But I really enjoy any kind of sweet, so this is perfect. I hope you're having fun though."

Munakata nods... And resorts to his research.

**Don't be afraid to compliment him! Men love compliments!**

"You're very handsome."

"..." Sakakura is so stunned he doesn't know how to respond, since it came out of left field. "Th-Thanks... You're... You... look good too."

**When in doubt, don't be afraid to establish physical contact... Say something he'll want to hear!**

Munakata reaches over and touches Sakakura's hand, but he jolts back instinctively. Instead, Munakata lightly presses his foot up against Sakakura's foot.

It's... very clearly some kind of move.

"...The clothes you got me fit very well. Thank you."

"You're... welcome?" He nervously chuckles and blushes. "What are you doing...?"

**Don't be afraid to tease him!**

"I noticed you have big hands and feet."

"..."

"They say that means-"

"I know what they say!"

"...Am I teasing you correctly?"

"...Correctly?" Sakakura furrows his brow. "I... I mean, you're not hurting my feelings, if that's what you're asking."

"No, did I tease you properly."

"How do you tease someone wrong?" He's getting more and more confused. "What's wrong?"

**Don't lie!**

"...I'm nervous. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how this should go. I'm afraid I'll do something wrong."

"You're fine. You're a little uptight, but you were doing fine when you were relaxed."

"You're more confident than I am. I'm envious of you."

"...You know, it..." He pauses. "...It took me forever to decide what to wear. I must've tried on every shirt I own but... I'm not confident, you know that. I'm better at faking it than you."

"...Faking?"

"I fake a lot of things, remember?" He laughs, sadly. "I'm not a master at lying, but I know how to keep things secret. You've got a good poker face, but you're way easier to read."

"..." Maybe that was true. He'd have to pay closer attention to Sakakura, and try to see if he could get better at reading him. "...I think I'm ready to go. I don't think I can eat any more."

...

When Sakakura pays, they leave and make their way back. When people aren't around, Sakakura looks to him and reaches out his hand and grabs Munakata's, trying to remain calm.

Munakata doesn't mind. He must have done the research too.

...

After reaching Munakata's door, he can feel his heart beating rather quickly. This is the part the research warned him about, the goodnight kiss.

Except...

"...I don't want you to leave." He says out loud.

"Wh... What? But I..." He blushes now. "I... I don't think I should be staying over. You know. On the first date."

"No, not sex."

"..." Munakata is harder to read than he'd thought. "What... Just... stay over? Like... last time?"

"Well... I-In all honesty, you're the one I want to talk to about our date... And that I liked it." His voice trembles in places, and the words are surprisingly difficult to form. In a way, he's very happy about it. It means he does have actual emotions like everyone else. "...And I'm nervous."

"W-We... just had the date... You want to talk about how it went?"

"...I... I went on my first date. You're the only person I can think of I'd want to talk to about that. I don't want to hurt Yukizome's feelings, but you understand how men feel better than she does."

"Yeah. Because I am a man."

"Exactly. You understand."

"I'm... not sure I do. You... You want to stay so you can talk about how your first date went? I... was there." He laughs, slightly.

"Not just that. But also how much it meant to me. I know it's sudden, and you can borrow some of my clothes if that's the problem but... I would rather have you closer."

"Closer...?" He's bright red, and Munakata's getting there too. "Closer than... than what?"

**Never be afraid to be bold! Seize your moment!**

Munakata tugs Sakakura forward by his shirt into a kiss, which takes Sakakura by surprise.

Unsurprisingly, Sakakura tastes... Very sweet. Not in a bad way, but... sweet.

When they pull back, Sakakura resists the urge to look around nervously.

"...Closer to me. I don't know if I'm expressing myself well. But I'm not ready to let you go... Is that selfish?"

"Hah... You? Selfish? ...Am I a bad influence on you?" He jokes.

"Please stay. If you're alright with it. If you're not, I understand. I'm... trying to be braver."

"I can see that. I..." Sakakura is shivering, and though Munakata expects it's from a chill in the air, it's actually his own nerves. "...I'll stay. But... I need to brush my teeth first. Don't... Don't want my teeth to rot."

Sakakura nervously steps inside Munakata's dorm and the door closes behind him.

"I have a few spare toothbrushes still in the packaging. And mouthwash."

"Thanks. I was afraid I'd just have to rinse my mouth out and hope for the best..." He laughs nervously seeing Munakata dig through his drawers.

When he turns around, he can see Sakakura staring a bit awkwardly.

"What?"

"I..." He looks away. "I was just... staring... at you."

"Why?"

"...You look good in those pants."

"Oh, you were staring at my butt. I already stared at yours. It was nice."

"We're back to making me flustered and embarrassed I see."

"I'd also like to kiss you more before you taste like mint, if that's okay."

"You... You don't really need to ask."

"According to my research, consent is paramount."

"Wait, research...?" His face twists in confusion. "Never mind, I don't want to know. Just... kiss me if you're going to."

"Alright."

Munakata smiles and moves forward, placing the toothbrush on a nightstand before moving Sakakura back until he tumbles onto the bed, surprised.

"Wh-What are you doing...?"

"Being bold."


	15. The Sun Goes Down Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fluff train continues~

The second date, if it can actually be called a "date", takes place in the library. Although, it isn't exactly their second date... It was more that it was an official date, and there had only been two official dates between them.

They hadn't had very much time to spend together alone with classes and boxing matches. Sakakura was still nursing a bruised face from the last bout.

"...Have you solved for X?"

Munakata asks teasingly as he wraps his legs around Sakakura's leg under the table. He was absolutely flirting with him. Covertly though. It was hard enough to sneak away to kiss, the best they could do was having some... rather intense makeout sessions in the dorms, but now that there was actually homework and studying to do, or training and meetings... They hadn't been able to do anything like that.

"No. I don't get it." Sakakura tries to keep his voice even. "What am I supposed to be doing?"

"You need help?" He smirks.

...

Munakata's idea of helping is usually leaning in close to him and whispering into his ear. Sakakura has no idea where he learned that, or what kind of research the man has been doing, but... It really won't help him learn.

"Just tell me how to do it again."

"...I could show you."

"Don't show me. Tell me." He says pouting. "We... You're too overt."

"Overt?" He looks around. "There's no one else here. We haven't seen anyone else all day."

Yeah, that was weird. Even on days when he could swear there were people he'd seen, aside from Yukizome, and occasionally Tengan... No one else really stood out.

Even his opponents or the people at cafes, or even conversations with his parents on the phone. Even thinking about the people on their trip or at the party. No one really stood out at all... It was almost like they were in their own little world.

"...I can't do things with you in a library of all places."

"I was only going to show you how to solve for X." Munakata teases.

"That's a lie and we both know it."

"...I still haven't given you your reward for winning the last match."

"What reward?"

"You invited me to your match. The first time you said if you won you wanted a kiss. I assumed the same bet still held true."

"I... I did not make that kind of agreement with you." This time.

"It was very impressive watching you fight. And it was my fault you were hit in the first place."

"That's not true, I got distracted."

During the fight, Munakata and Yukizome had been the only ones who stood out to him in the crowd. He took the opportunity to search for them in the crowd, managing to spot Munakata cheering him on. It had been all his opponent needed to land a blow to his face.

With blood dripping down his face from the wound, and a black eye beginning to form...

Munakata remembered how frightening Sakakura looked turning back around. The crowd had even stopped cheering long enough to hold its breath before Sakakura wiped him out with one more punch. 

Sakakura was strong. He was stronger angry.

...

At least now the bruising wasn't so bad. Munakata still wanted to apply ice to it but Sakakura would swat him away telling him to mind his business.

"Then, I'd like to distract you."

"You already are. I can't focus on math when you..." He tries to pull his foot away, but Munakata's got it. The man may be emotionally stunted in some ways, but he certainly does have determination. "...I can't focus like this."

"How about I quiz you? And for every wrong answer, you lose a piece of clothing. And for every right answer, I remove a piece of clothing."

"..."

"What?"

"What porn were you watching this time?"

"...That's not important. I haven't explained what happens to you when you lose all your clothing and get a wrong answer."

"I don't know what's worse, that you were studying porn or that you think I'm that stupid that I'll end up naked and still getting answers wrong."

"I ask very difficult questions." Munakata smiles.

"Then the game is rigged in the first place!"

"You're not interested...?"

"..." Sakakura is scarlet, and thankfully no one else is around to hear or see them because it's very incriminating. "...You realize you don't normally do that kind of stuff until the third date, right? I-If it's going well... I mean."

"...We spend a lot of time together. Couldn't that be counted as dates?"

"I... Well..."

"And sometimes we end up just kissing in my room. Or yours. Are those not dates...?"

"I-If I'd known they were dates, I would have gotten us dinner." He jokes weakly. The way Munakata watches him is... almost predatory, but still... "...Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want to eat me." He says quietly.

"I do want to eat you." He smiles. Sakakura has no idea how to process that information, does he know what he's saying or how it sounds? "Although we may be considered friends with benefits at this stage, I would like us to become boyfriends with benefits at some later date."

"...I... It's... It's just called being boyfriends. Benefits are implied."

"Hm. Did I get a wrong answer? Does that mean I take off a piece of clothing?"

"Not in the library, you closet nympho!"

Munakata can't stop the laughter that comes, watching Sakakura take him so seriously is... cute. And attractive.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop teasing you. Would you like to go to dinner after this? Or were you making food again?"

"...Well... I'm supposed to be on a diet, so as long as I can get some protein, it's fine. I'll have to avoid the sweets this time though."

"...Protein."

"Don't make it sound dirty." He glares as his blush, which had been receding, now flares up again. "Like... Lean meat. You know."

"You're very handsome, Juzo." Munakata says it so quietly that Sakakura is thrown by it completely. He feels his leg released as Munakata looks to him. "I can honestly say no one else makes me feel this way. I would like it if you would officially be my boyfriend, regardless of how many dates we may have been on at this point."

"...I..." Sakakura is stunned. Munakata makes confessions and requests like this seem so easy. So natural. So unbothered by it all. "...I... I was... Well..."

"You don't want to?"

"It's not that. I... I mean, are you sure...?"

"Was that a serious question?"

"Yes. You... What about Yukizome or any of your other admirers?"

"...Yukizome likes me?" He quirks a brow.

Poor Yukizome. 

"You didn't know that?"

"I had suspected something, but I didn't want to push the issue. Especially if I were wrong. I wouldn't want to embarrass anyone."

"W-Well... She kind of does. And I know there are other girls that like you. Probably even some guys. You... You don't have to settle for me."

"...Settle?" He stares. "You aren't a bad option, Juzo."

"I didn't mean it to be self-deprecating. I mean, if you want to... play the field, I wouldn't... I won't stop you."

"I told you what I wanted. Was it not obvious I wanted to be with you? Have you seen me interested in anyone else?"

"No. But... I don't want you to just pick me because I'm the only one in your... What. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm not sure if I should punish you or work on your self-esteem."

"...P-Punish...?!"

"Isn't that a common theme in your porn?" He asks as if that's a natural question.

"That's... just a common theme in any porn."

"Ah. Well." He shrugs. "In any event, I am asking you to date me. If you have any real objections, tell me them. Otherwise, I don't want to hear your modesty."

"..." Somehow a domineering personality was awoken inside of Munakata. As if he can't stand to hear Sakakura speak that way about himself. "...I... I don't have any. Objections, I mean. I have modesty."

"Then, can we say that we are dating?"

"If that's what you want... I... You're sure, you want to go out with me?"

"We have been going out." He gives him a puzzled look.

"Yeah, but going out on dates isn't the same as going out on dates when you're in a relationship... Listen, it doesn't make sense to me either, but being in a relationship is... The dates are..."

"Are what...?"

"...I'm going to stop, I don't know what I'm saying."

"Then, are you not interested?"

"Of course I'm interested. But dating someone who's your boyfriend is... It's different from the first date with someone you're just seeing if you like."

"Oh, you mean the benefits."

"...Not just the benefits. It's... You wouldn't be dating anyone but me."

"I've never dated anyone but you in the first place though?"

It feels like arguing with an automated voice on the phone. Some information gets in, but most of it doesn't.

"If we date, I don't want you dating other people." He says simply. "It'd be just me and you going on dates, or... You know... If you want to experiment with other people, then you should, but... I'd... I'd be jealous if we were dating and you did that. That's why..."

"You would not want an open relationship. I understand now. You think I'd want to see who else is interested?"

"I don't know if you _would_ , I'm... I'm saying if we were dating, I wouldn't want anyone else to... date you. Or touch you... the way we would be touching... Does that make sense?"

"I accept those terms. They would also apply to you. Correct?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't date other guys or... Wait, you accepted so quickly!"

"We're still in a library." Munakata smirks. "Keep your voice down."

"...You accepted it so quickly." He repeats quieter than before.

"Of course I did. I wasn't interested in anyone else. I like Yukizome, but we haven't gone on a single date. I don't know what we would be like together. I would rather try with you and enjoy what we already have than pursue an unknown. If it were an open relationship, I might ask her out, but I accepted your terms."

"..." Sakakura has no idea how to deal with this beautiful disaster of a person. "Then, I guess we're... boyfriends? Now?"

"Yes. If you prefer we could start tomorrow. I don't mind. But, I do want you as a boyfriend."

"Shit... I've... I've never had a boyfriend. What... do I do?"

"...Do?"

"What's today's date? Is this our anniversary date? I..." He flinches to write it down after checking his phone.

"Are you panicking?"

"I'm nervous! You made me nervous. I've never... had a boyfriend." He says looking around. Still no one around.

"Then we can learn together. Ah. I should..." He looks away. "...Prepare for the benefits more."

"..."

"You're staring."

"I... I don't know what to say. I can only handle one milestone at a time. Let's... Let's worry about that later."

"Yes, that would give me more time to prepare for you."

"...Don't say that to me, please. I... I really can't handle the images."

"Would you still like to play the quiz game I've devised?"

"Not... Not in the library."

"We could go to your room. Or mine."

"...I'm... I'm going to need some time to calm down before we do anything like that."

"I'll wait." He smiles.

It's... He's not going to calm down with Munakata staring at him expectantly. He may never be able to calm down again.


	16. Are You Bold Enough to Reach For Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11/11 is Pocky Day! So, I naturally had to contribute.
> 
> And then things got NSFW real fast.

"Don't act like you don't want to play."

"It's... not that I don't want to play. I just... don't think it needs extra rules."

"There's no fun if there aren't consequences."

"...It seems like after I became your boyfriend, you got a lot hornier."

"It's because we're actually boyfriends. And..." Munakata smiles to himself, looking away with a blush. "I've been doing research."

"Yeah, stop that. If... If you have questions just ask."

They're sitting on the bed in Munakata's dorm room, about to play the pocky game.

The rules are simple; two people begin eating a stick of pocky from either end. The first person to break away loses. The first person who makes it to the middle wins. And if they end up kissing, it's a draw.

It's a simple enough game, and it combines Sakakura's love of sweet things... And their desire to possibly end up kissing.

"Alright, I'll ask questions. What's wrong with me wanting to see your body?" He smiles politely when Sakakura flinches. "After all, I've seen most of it."

"...I..." There really isn't a good answer for it. "I don't want you to see me naked and... get all freaked out."

"Why? What's wrong with you naked? Is there something about your body that's different?"

"N-No... That's not what I mean. It's just... I get that you want to take this to the next level but... I'm afraid it's not going to be something you'll like. Or want. And I don't want to hurt you."

"..." Munakata watches him flinch. "Isn't it that you're afraid I'll reject you?"

"...There's that too."

"Juzo... I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date you the first time. You haven't shown me any side of you that I dislike. And if I seem overly eager then... It's because I'm happy that you would be my first."

"Wh-When you say it like that it... It's flattering but it's a lot of pressure..."

"Alright. We'll go at your pace." Munakata smiles. "...We'll play the old-fashioned way."

"You still want to play?"

"I... mostly want to see how many times we tie." 

Munakata's exploratory sexuality is equal parts amazing and terrifying. He's never had this kind of relationship with anyone. And when it's the person he's had a crush on since the very beginning it's... Somehow more heightened.

"I can tell I'm going to regret this."

"Open your mouth."

Sakakura sees Munakata has picked a stick of pocky up and he slowly opens his mouth.

When Munakata kisses him instead, it's a surprise but not entirely unwelcome. The way he gently pulls at Sakakura's bottom lip makes a blush creep up his chest. Munakata pulls back to admire his work.

"You... You're supposed to kiss me in a draw not..."

"I know. But I couldn't resist kissing my boyfriend when he made such a cute face just now." He says it without a hint of irony.

"I knew I was going to regret this, and I was right." He mutters under his breath.

...

The first round ends with Sakakura's victory, and he watches Munakata smirk. It's that face that says that if they were playing his way, he'd be taking off his clothes for Sakakura... And... either that was his attempt to psych him out, or he really was serious about it.

The second round is also Sakakura's victory. And of course, that just awakens Munakata's competitive side.

...

"It's not a competition." Sakakura says after Munakata stares him down. They'd just reached a draw, meeting at the lips. Munakata seems happy, but also like he wants Sakakura to lose. "You don't have to take it so seriously."

"It's not in my nature to give up."

"You just want me to take my clothes off..."

"Yes. That too." Munakata smiles. The next round ends with Sakakura letting Munakata win, but that only seems to make him more upset. "...Take this seriously. It's no fun beating you if you let me win."

"...Why are you so certain that you're going to win?"

"Because I have better luck than you do."

Munakata can be exhausting when things are peaceful. When there's a stressful situation, he's the one you want around. When things are peaceful, Munakata is the type of person who seems to have too much free time and so he ends up making things more complicated than they need to be just for mental stimulation.

"You're a real ass sometimes."

"Open your mouth."

He rolls his eyes, and agrees, even before Munakata's taken a stick, but Munakata moves forward as if to kiss him again. But he swerves out of the way of his mouth and presses his lips against Sakakura's neck instead. The effect is instantaneous, with Sakakura letting out a weak moan, body breaking out into goosebumps.

"Mm... That was a nice reaction. Show me more, Sakakura."

That dirty mouth of his kisses him harder on his neck, moving down, tracing the line from where he can feel Sakakura's neck grow warm and red with the blush, down to the clavicle.

"W-We... We... aren't playing... anymore...?" Sakakura's flushed face is still surprised that it's Munakata touching him. The way Munakata moves to touch him harder, kiss him better, drive him to distraction.

"No, we are. But this is something of a bonus round." He smirks.

"F-For who...?!"

"You were winning. I want a consolation prize."

...

Sakakura isn't really in the right position to oppose him, nor would he want to. Munakata moves more on top of him, a knee pressed squarely between Sakakura's thighs... which must be deliberate judging on how Munakata admires his confused and blushing frown.

"You're... You're okay with this?" Sakakura asks as a hand goes under his shirt. Munakata admires his musculature.

"Yes. Are you?"

"I'm... I'm a little hot, but..." Sakakura isn't really sure what he's supposed to say at this point. Munakata is... his boyfriend. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested in moving things forward. "Don't... Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with."

"I was asking about your comfort level, not mine."

"I'm t-totally comfortable..." Nervous, yes. Uncomfortable, no.

Munakata leans back and the hand fumbles with Sakakura's pants. The next thing he knows, his pants are unbuttoned and the zipper is pulled down and...

Then so are his pants and underwear. He's sitting there, with really only his shirt on, pants and underwear around his ankles. And Munakata over him. He... can't hide how aroused he is. And he certainly can't deny he's almost totally exposed now.

Munakata looks at his near-nakedness with a small smile, as if he's found something interesting. The hand... slowly traces down his belly button to...

"I did expect you were big. Although I've only ever seen my own up close."

"D-Don't talk about it... That's..." He's a little embarrassed as Munakata's hand traces down him, and circles around the head, examining the stickiness, almost scientifically. "...You... You're making it hard to... focus."

"I don't need your focus. I just need more from you." He continues to smile as he coaxes out more stickiness from Sakakura. "I need all of you."

"A-All of me?!" What did that even mean?

"..." Munakata pushes Sakakura's shirt up, kissing exposed skin. His chest, his nipples, the abs he's secretly jealous of and... "Are you happy? To be touched like this, I mean."

"Y... Yeah... I am."

"...Am I behaving strangely?" The question comes so far out of left field that Sakakura stares at him. "I'm not... doing something I'm not supposed to?"

"You unbuttoned my pants and... started touching me." Saying it out loud makes it stranger. Somehow dirtier, but in a good way. "I... I don't think now's the time to ask that."

"But you are not opposed to it? I haven't made you uncomfortable?"

"...No. I'm okay. But... you don't have to do anything. If you don't want to. I... It's okay if..."

"You're already this exposed, I'm surprised you would be so shy. It's an unexpected reaction from you. You're surprisingly hard to predict."

Munakata has gripped him and even though it's a light touch, he can feel himself oozing, even as it trickles down and coats part of Munakata's hand.

Surprisingly hard to predict? At this point, he's only surprisingly hard.

Sakakura isn't sure how this is going to go until... Munakata moves and kisses the head of his cock. It's such a deliberate move, and one he wasn't sure he should have been expecting. He feels himself shudder and... Munakata continues to work him with his mouth.

"D-Don't... That's... I'll..."

"Should I stop?"

"I... I might..." The words sound dirty in his ears but, he should at least be honest. "You'll make me..."

"Cum?"

"...Yes. That."

"That... was the goal." Munakata says, a blush now staining his face. "Are you opposed to this? Do you want me to stop?"

"I... Well... Well, no, but... Don't do it for my sake..."

"I was doing it because I wanted to see what it was like. And... Maybe you could also do this to me later? I'm... I'm curious as to how it actually feels."

...

"Well... Yeah. I could... I could give it a shot..." He says, heart pounding like thunder in his chest. "But, you're okay with...?"

"Yes. I was... hoping to do something like this with you. Although, there's plenty of pocky left for the next game." He says, blushing harder than Sakakura now. "Although, please tell me if you feel yourself begin to orgasm. I would rather not be caught... unprepared."

"I... am not sure I can make any promises..." Sakakura manages to say it shakily. These are entirely new sensations for him. And Munakata, without missing a beat, locks eyes with him before he takes him in his mouth. "K-Kyosuke...!"

There seems to be a dark undercurrent of something in mind. Just in case. And... a lot of pocky left over.

...

What he's learned is that pocky (and/or Munakata) is dangerous.


	17. It's Cold Without You Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Behold the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?"

Yukizome is the one who asks it, which earns a strange look from the two of them.

"Plans?" Munakata asks. "I don't think so. Do we...?"

"Uhh..." Sakakura fidgets uncomfortably. Christmas is more a lovers' holiday. It wasn't that he hadn't thought of something... He just hadn't asked Munakata yet."...I... I don't know."

He dodges the question awkwardly.

"Why, Yukizome?"

Yukizome stares blankly at the two of them. It wasn't like they were especially sneaky. She had noticed them hanging out more together, and their awkward lovey-dovey aura.

"Because I have to give you your gifts. I just didn't know when I should do it."

Christmas was only two days away. Sakakura realizes that he also needs to give them his gifts.

"Then... how about tomorrow?" Munakata smiles. That would be December 24th. And it would leave them Christmas Day free for... "Is that alright?"

"Yeah! You guys can come over to my place. I'll make a cake."

"You don't have to make a cake." Sakakura rolls his eyes. "You always go overboard with party prep."

"I'm sorry, do you know how to make a cake Mr. Boxer?"

"W-Well... No..." In theory, he could follow the recipe. In practice, disaster would strike. "But just don't do anything too unnecessary."

"Just leave it all to me! Oh! And dress warmly. They're calling for a ton of snow tomorrow night!"

...

As anyone would have expected...

Yukizome has taken Christmas decorating to a new level.

Her room looks like the North Pole exploded all over. It's Christmas carnage. Tinsel lining the doorway, fairy lights that blink and twinkle along the walls, a small plastic Christmas tree with small ornaments, odd Christmas ball ornaments hung from the ceiling, stockings on the wall. Reindeer motifs are everywhere.

Her cake is on a small table in the room, with a red and green striped tablecloth over it.

"...What did I tell you." Sakakura says to no one, because Yukizome won't listen and Munakata seems unbothered by it.

"It's fine, it's fine. Come on in!"

"You really went all out." Munakata smiles admiringly.

"Don't encourage her."

Sakakura leaves the door open. The idea of two men in her bedroom is something even she has to worry about, he decides. He'd rather not cause her any problems.

"You want something to drink?"

Without waiting for a response, she's pouring them sparkling apple cider.

"...That's non-alcoholic, right?" Sakakura asks, giving her a worried look and motioning towards Munakata, the lightweight.

"Of course. I wasn't going to get you guys drunk."

"It looks like champagne..." Munakata admires it as she serves it to them in plastic champagne glasses. "You really do think of everything."

"That's my secret ability!" She laughs to herself.

...

After cake, and lots of talking, and worries about being loud, they finally get to the gift giving portion of the evening. Sakakura had worried that Munakata would have maybe not gotten anything; afraid for him, since misunderstanding customs was what made Munakata nervous... But it looks like Munakata has indeed brought gifts.

"Who wants to go first?" Sakakura looks to them.

"I'll go!" Yukizome says cheerfully before handing them both bags.

Munakata's is red, Sakakura's is green. Ho ho ho.

Sakakura reaches into the bag and pulls out a rather elegantly knitted scarf. It's... It's really well-made, but...

"Did you... knit this yourself?" He asks.

"Yup, sure did!"

Munakata's is even more impressive. A blue sweater, that looks very professionally done. Is this the ability of the SHSL Housekeeper?

"It's beautiful, Yukizome."

"Yay! I got a compliment." She nudges Sakakura. "Are you jealous?"

"..." He would be, if Munakata hadn't already sucked his... Nope, better not say that out loud. "Let me go next."

By comparison, Sakakura's wrapping skills are very poor. Still, the ribbons and bows hide the rougher edges.

He hands his gift to Yukizome. As she carefully unwraps it... It's a large assortment of different and brightly colored silk ribbons for her hair. The way she practically launches herself onto him in a hug is a surprise though.

"Thank you! They're so nice!"

"...Here." Once Yukizome detaches herself from him, Munakata is handed a a long box, wrapped in paper, tied with string. "I saw this and it... I don't know, it reminded me of you so..."

Munakata curiously quirks a brow as he unwraps it.

It's a box for a tie, he realizes. He opens it and... It's an elegant white silk tie, with some kind of black design on it. Something... clicks within him momentarily. A feeling of nostalgia he doesn't really understand. Even Yukizome seems surprised as she waits for his reaction.

"...I really like this. Thank you." Munakata smiles, unable to take his eyes off the tie.

"W-Well... I was there looking at the silk stuff after getting Yukizome's ribbons and..."

"Yeah, yeah, quit fishing for compliments." Yukizome elbows him in a friendly way.

"I-I was not...!" He kind of was. But. He can't say that now.

"..." Munakata slowly puts down his gifts and produces two boxes from a bag he'd brought with him. "I apologize that they aren't wrapped. I was... less than adequate with the wrapping paper."

Somehow, the two of them can't help but snicker and give each other a look. Imagining Munakata trying to wrap something and failing is... just too cute.

Sakakura is surprised at the size of the white box he's been given. It looks like something you would get clothing in. Yukizome's is much the same; the only difference is that their names have been elegantly written on the box to avoid confusion.

With some trepidation, Yukizome opens hers. It's... a bright yellow peacoat. She stares at it in wonderment.

"This... This must have cost you a lot...!" She looks as if she really can't bring herself to accept it.

"You need to stay warm. If I had your talent, I would have made it myself." He smiles politely. It wasn't like Munakata was hurting for money.

"But... But still..." Yukizome doesn't know what to say. "Thank you."

Sakakura's gift is much the same. He pulls it out of the box.

"It's ironic that you say that my gift reminded you of me because... I saw this and it also reminded me of you. It was something I knew I had to get for you."

It's a long army green parka or windbreaker with a large fuzzy hood. It's made of some kind of synthetic material, and it looks like it was built more to keep rain and snow out, but the hood does provide some warmth. It works as both a winter jacket and for spring or fall as a rain jacket.

Sakakura instinctively stands up to put it on.

There's a strange feeling of nostalgia he can't quite explain.

"...I... I really like this." Sakakura says quietly before sitting back down.

"Good. I'm glad my gifts were a success. I don't have much experience picking gifts for others but..."

"I love it." Sakakura cuts him off, but then withdraws respectfully. "Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I... I really... Thank you, Kyosuke."

Yukizome watches them tensely throughout this whole display until...

...

"...'Kyosuke', huh?" She says in a whisper with a sly grin. "Mm... I see, I see..."

"Shut up..."

...

Their little party soon ends and the three go their separate ways after leaving Yukizome's dorm.

The sun is setting, and snow has begun to fall. It'll be dark before they know it.

Sakakura spends a few hours to himself trying to think of things that he and Munakata could do tomorrow. If they really were going to get as much snow as they expected, there might not be much to do. They hadn't gotten to spend Christmas Eve together as he'd planned but... maybe tomorrow...?

As he pours over things like movie times, or restaurants that might accept reservations even given the short notice... A chirp from his phone jolts him away from this.

It's Munakata.

"...'Call me'...?" Sakakura blinks before calling Munakata. "Hey, got your message. What's up?"

"That was quick. Were you waiting by the phone?"

"It makes noise when you leave messages." Sakakura frowns. Munakata must be teasing him again.

"...Can you come over?"

"Huh? But... It's late."

"...Bring... Bring an extra pair of clothes, like... usual."

Usual? ...That... Well, that usually meant they were going to be... doing something. From since when Munakata first... Well, it had hard not to do some things. But it had only been hands and mouths, not the act itself.

"You... You're sure?"

"...Is it wrong of me to want you?"

"N-No. Of course not. We're..." Together, he thinks. Munakata breathes a small sigh of relief in his ears. "But... But there's school tomorrow, right...?"

"Not with the snow. And... even if there is, I won't go."

"Huh? The Class President is going to skip school?" He laughs.

"I want to spend time with you. Are you... busy?"

"No... But... You're... You're sure, right? About me staying over?"

"..." Munakata is quiet for a few moments but then... "...You should come over now. Before the snow becomes too deep. I'll be waiting."

...

Oh. This... This was...

Sakakura can feel the butterflies in his stomach multiplying. Not just the night, but the whole day tomorrow? Did that mean...? No. That's... Why was Munakata so shy about it?

It couldn't be. But... But it did mean something. Even Sakakura understood this meant something.

Without skipping a beat, he makes sure to put some of his clothes in the gym bag, not just pajamas.

He makes sure to grab the new green jacket Munakata has given him, and puts it on. He also remembers to take his boots, and the scarf the Yukizome made for him. 

...

The way over there is more difficult than he'd expected. The snow is indeed piling up. There likely won't be class tomorrow... So... A whole day with Munakata... And... in his bed. And it was going to mean something.

Was this going to be a romantic evening after all?

Sakakura's face is burning bright red, but at least he can blame that on the wind. Pulling up the hood helps. It's not an especially warm coat, but it is one that will keep him dry. Ironic, considering he's very sure there's probably a wet spot in his underwear now that he really hopes Munakata won't notice. Now is not the time to let his desires get the best of him.

...

He rushes through campus to Munakata's dorm. No one else is around. The wind and snow have begun to pick up even more. Probably, no one wants to be out there in this mess.

He makes it to Munakata's door, out of breath and once he enters, he lets the warmth of his room take him over again.

"...You came quickly." Munakata smiles.

"I always come quickly."

"..."

There's a... silence that no one really knows what to do with. It only stops long enough for Munakata to softly snort, having valiantly tried to keep his comment to himself.

"..." Sakakura takes off his jacket and tosses it at Munakata. "Shut up."

"I'm sorry. You... did that to yourself." Munakata smiles, blushing, as he hangs up Sakakura's jacket. "...It looks good on you. The jacket, I mean."

Sakakura puts his gym bag down.

"Thanks. My... My boyfriend got it for me." Sakakura feels awkward saying that, but it is nice to say. At least in the privacy of the room they share together.

Munakata comes closer and presses his hands on Sakakura's cheeks.

His cheeks are freezing, but Munakata's hands feel like they're made of fire. He can't help himself from trying to give him all the warmth he can.

"Then your boyfriend must care about you a lot."

"Y-Yeah. He's... kind of... well... He cares a lot."

"My boyfriend is like that too. Very caring." Munakata smiles at this silly game they're playing. "I love him very much."

Sakakura instantly turns redder than he's ever been.

"What...?"

"You want me to say it again?"

"I..." Sakakura's mind is going blank. "You... You do...?"

"...Wasn't it obvious?" Munakata is also blushing, but not as red. "I know it is a cliche, but... saying something romantic is expected on a day like to day."

"You're killing me."

"You don't have to say it back, if you're still unsure. I... wanted you to know how I feel."

"Of course I feel the same way! Why would you..." Sakakura grumbles before his expression turns serious. "You read my letter. You know I've... I've always... My feelings for you haven't changed. They've only gotten stronger. Of course I love you... Kyosuke."

"Then... Please stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you're interested in reading me rewrite DR3 Future Arc to get a happy ending for Munasaka and mostly everyone else, come join me over in the Hope Side we all deserve -
> 
> The Wheel of Samsara
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8511808/chapters/19508686


	18. A Thrill of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things here are very vaguely NSFW. Nothing is TOO explicit, but even so.

Undressing Sakakura was the easy part. And it was fun, but... Somehow, he couldn't stop his hands from shaking.

What would it feel like? And would he like it?

He can feel Sakakura's heart beating like crazy when he holds him close to kiss him, but neither of them are quite brave enough to do more than kiss, even when they're finally naked on the bed.

There are awkward pauses in their kissing where they end up looking at each other, waiting for some clue or indication of how to proceed.

Although Munakata leans forward, he quickly eases back, suddenly shy.

"..." 

"What's wrong?" Sakakura would be more worried if he were the only one naked but... "...Are you not feeling well?"

"It's not that." He answers quickly. "It's... I'm nervous. I don't... want to ruin this."

"...You haven't ruined anything." Sakakura places his hand on Munakata's shoulder. "Really."

"I... always... _always_ pick the wrong thing. I always mess it up in the end somehow. I go left instead of right, or I think wrong is right... Does that make sense?"

"Sorry... No. I don't really get it." Sakakura watches the complexity of the emotion change on Munakata's face.

He looks like he's trying to string something together in his mind, as if he's trying to solve a puzzle as his eyebrows knit together.

"I'm not good with words. Not in this situation. But... You mean a lot to me. I don't want to make you hate me. I do want you, but not if you... come to hate me."

Sakakura stares at him, and Munakata now looks down, away from his eyes.

"Hey. Look at me." He says, calmly at first.

"..."

"Look at me." Sakakura tilts Munakata's head back to look at him. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But... I love you. You're not scaring me away. Even... Even if you choke and my... you know... comes out your nose."

"..." Munakata's face goes blank. "...Why is that the first thing that came to mind?"

"A-Anyway..." Sakakura coughs and moves past it. "We don't have to do anything. We can just put our clothes back on or... or not. I don't know what you exactly wanted to do..."

"...I was going to ask you to take my virginity."

"..." Sakakura turns bright red. 

So. That was what he intended after all. More than what they had been doing up until that point but...

"Is that... not alright?"

"I... I'm... You kind of surprised me. I... I-I mean, I kind of thought that's what you wanted but you said it so honestly I didn't even know how to..."

"I've heard it's uncomfortable at first, but there's no one else I want to do this with." Munakata says, hiding the waver in his voice as best as he can. "...And I know it's something you want in a boyfriend so..."

"..." He sighs. "You know if you're not into sex, I get it. I-"

"It's not that I'm not interested. I can appreciate the feelings and I like the touching. But, I don't like doing things that I might not be good at." Munakata speaks honestly. "...More than anything, I enjoy being close to you. And if sex is a way to connect with you, then... I don't mind at all. But I..."

...

"I don't want to make a fool out of myself either." Sakakura wants to hold him and tell him not to worry so much. And so he embraces him, feeling Munakata shudder in surprise. "If you don't laugh at me, I won't laugh at you... How's that?"

"...Are you... alright with the idea of having sex with me?"

"I'm fucking terrified. But, yeah, I'm... more than okay with it. If you'll have me."

"I... want to feel the weight of you on me. I want to see what you look like when you... well... when you... Is this normal?"

"You're worrying too much. Wanting that... is the least weird thing about you." Sakakura jokes with him as he kisses Munakata's forehead.

"...What's the weirdest thing about me?"

"Your fashion sense." Sakakura jokes, and Munakata chuckles through his nose.

"...I have condoms. And... lubricant." Munakata says in a low voice, changing the subject. "Is that alright?"

"Uh, you'd kill me if I didn't use lube. I don't think you'd forgive me. Especially if it's your first time."

"It is my first time, I told you that."

"I'm surprised you have condoms though. I... did bring some but..."

"I would have bought them much earlier. Once I had seen you naked it was easier to judge what size to get."

Sakakura blushes at Munakata's brutal honesty. He'd somehow imagined coy games and blushing and people hiding their feelings... Munakata just said most of what he was thinking as if it were nothing. He was only self-conscious about the things he wasn't saying, or so it appeared.

"...That part of you is really... cute... Kyosuke."

"Which... part of me?"

"This part... And this part..." Sakakura begins to kiss at Munakata's neck, moving to different spots as he speaks. "And this part... And definitely this part..."

"You're... initiating foreplay..."

"I'm trying." He blushes when Munakata puts his motivations out in the open like that. "You're making it very hard."

"Yes, I can feel it pressing against me. I think it's leaking, so I'm glad."

"..."

~ ~ ~

"Ow..."

Munakata winces after Sakakura shifts and accidentally puts too much pressure on Munakata's back. The two of them are a clunky mess.

"Sorry!"

"It's alright. Could... I get a pillow?"

Sakakura leans back and takes one of the pillows to place under Munakata's back. They're... very clearly both virgins. And this isn't even the uncomfortable part.

"Does that feel... better?"

"...Yes." Munakata says as Sakakura spreads Munakata's legs to start to line himself up. "Although, I feel as if you... are seeing too much of me from that angle."

"Oh, yeah... I can see every inch of you like this." Sakakura says with a joking tone, smirking. "...I kind of like you like this."

"You would."

Sakakura laughs in his throat as he puts on the condom, and begins to work lube into Munakta. Too roughly at first. Munakata winces and seethes.

"...Sorry. I..." Sakakura goes easier when he feels Munakata tense up. "I'm... I'll go... slow. Slower. I mean. I... Yeah."

"It's going to be uncomfortable either way." Munakata says quietly, Unsurprisingly, having his legs around Sakakura's waist and having Sakakura using his fingers like this is... "...But, go easy on me. If you can."

"I... I wouldn't just ram it in."

"I would hope not. Otherwise, I will have to retaliate."

"Is that a fact?" Sakakura smirks.

"Yes. You on your hands and knees. And me... showing you what it is to be gentle."

"...Shit... don't say things like that so easily."

"...We're both naked. Very naked. I think we've made it to the point in our relationship where I can say things like that to you in bed."

"That..." Sakakura sighs, bright red. "...You talking about sexually punishing me is not..."

"Punishing...? All I did was say I'd show you what it meant to be gentle." He quirks a brow. "Would you like me to-"

"Shut up. Can't... I just can't..." 

...

After some awkward stopping and starting, they...

"...This... doesn't feel that bad." Munakata admits once Sakakura is fully inside of him. "Although it's an odd... sensation."

"Am... Am I hurting you?" Sakakura tries to keep his movement steady and still, waiting for Munakata to adjust.

"No... It... does feel uncomfortable. But not bad. It... feels like fullness?"

"...You're... seriously, I think you could make me... just from saying things like that."

"We'll work on your endurance in the future, then."

"Shut up."

"I'm trying to help." Munakata smiles, that smug fake innocent look he gets...

Sakakura kisses him, hard. Anything to get that smug look off his face and...

"Can I move...?" He asks quietly, like it's a secret. "Or do you want me to wait?"

"...Move... but slowly at first."

There's something there. Behind all the emotion and confused energy of the room, moving in close, close enought to see the same thing he's feeling reflected back at him.

"...Kyosuke."

Sakakura cups Munakata's face with his hand and Munakata shudders. There's a sudden realization that neither of them are technically virgins anymore. That this... is a new reality for both of them.

A feeling surges there that says that they've changed the course of their destinies somehow in this moment. And that this moment is etched into the walls of their hearts.

"..."

"I do love you. Always."

"...Always, huh..." Munakata smiles in spite of himself. "...From anyone else, I might not believe that. Grand gestures in the heat of the moment don't... normally fill me with much confidence."

"Yeah... I think I know what you mean. But... I do. I love you, Kyosuke."

"I love you. I..." He isn't able to say that he'll love him always, because it seems too unpredictable and insincere to say something like that so casually. "...I want to remember this moment. You and I."

"Yeah. Me too."

"...Juzo." Munakata smiles. "...I don't want this with anyone else. I don't want to be anywhere else."

"Then stay with me."

"..." Munakata chuckles. "Where else would I go?"

The words don't always make sense. But hopefully their bodies can be clearer when it comes to all the things they can't put into words.

"Stay with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I had a very hard time naming this chapter. For the Despair Tango and Hopeful Waltz, and for this one, I usually go for song lyrics. This one I couldn't decide between 'Everything is Different' and 'A Thrill of Hope'... though I think 'A Thrill of Hope' goes better with the Christmas theme?)
> 
> Sorry for recent inactivity, things have been very hectic this December but I'm hoping to be a bit more regular with writing once things settle!


	19. The Love You Found In Me

Sakakura snores.

This isn't exactly new information, but how can anyone possibly make that kind of noise and still be healthy? ...Maybe he's been punched in the face too much and it damaged his septum somehow? Although his nose doesn't look like it's ever been broken...

At least he's warm... Very warm.

Munakata doesn't mind being the little spoon, though now that he's awake, he wishes he could also be grabbing onto Sakakura...

The muscular chest behind him, the soft rise and fall of it against him... offset by the cutest chainsaw noises he's ever heard.

It's not that difficult to slowly tilt Sakakura onto his back, and from there the snoring dissipates somewhat. Munakata sits up and admires the man next to him.

Slowly he runs a finger down Sakakura's sternum, and down the dividing line of his abs with great admiration at feeling the taut muscles underneath him. Sakakura seems to rouse, but only with half-coherent mumbles and a hand that brushes against the trail and scratches the tingling tickling sensation that has no doubt been left behind.

...

He hopes it won't wake him, but... Munakata slowly digs for his phone before capturing a picture of Sakakura's sleeping face. That's... That's probably creepy. He's going to have to ask for Sakakura's permission to keep it later. 

Even so...

Munakata leans down, momentarily concerned that this is some kind of... incorrect or offensive action to take, but... he slowly presses his lips against Sakakura's.

When he pulls back, Sakakura hasn't stirred, though there is more mumbling. At least there wasn't a lot of morning breath. 

...After the second and third kisses like this, Munakata begins to feel like maybe it isn't right to kiss him without permission. Maybe that's not allowed? Or is that wrong somehow...?

As gently as he can, he places his hand on Sakakura's bicep. 

A flutter of his eyelids and a deep inhale...

"...Mornin'..." 

The groggy voice speaks up at him after Sakakura opens his eyes.

"...It's mid-afternoon now, but good morning." Munakata smirks. They... had a late night. Apparently.

"Shit. Well. Good night then..."

Sakakura rolls over onto his side facing away from Munakata.

"...You're going back to bed?"

"Maybe..."

Munakata quickly seizes his chance to become the big spoon, admiring the way Sakakura gasps when the hands wrap around his chest and waist.

"You don't want to eat something? Or... have more fun?"

Sakakura snickers.

"...Did I create a monster?"

"It's not that. It's... You're naked... I'm naked... I did the preparation for everything last night. And..."

"..."

"You didn't hurt me, if that's what you're worried about." Sakakura tenses. An obvious right answer. "I... enjoyed myself."

"...Well... we... did it more than once. I... I hoped you'd enjoy yourself, you know..."

"I bet you're blushing."

"...Shut up."

"Do you want to go out and look at the snow later...? We'll have to get food eventually. We can also go and look at all the lights and everything."

"...Okay. That sounds... like a fun idea."

"Then, it's a date."

"Yeah. A... A date..." Sakakura turns over back to face Munakata. "Kyosuke."

"What is it?"

Sakakura, whose hair is a beautiful disaster of bedhead and cowlicks, stares at him for a moment, eyes darting to Munakata's lips before he's pressed Munakata down against the pillows with a hard kiss that's all passion and no finesse.

"I love you."

In a move that leaves Sakakura momentarily dazed, Munakata has latched onto Sakakura and rolled him over onto his back so that now Munakata is on top of him and Sakakura is the one pressed into the pillows.

"...Good. Because I'm not done with you yet." Munakata smirks and hunches down to press his lips against Sakakura's nipple, instantly getting a tremor of excitement. "...You're all mine, Juzo."

"Uh... I... O-Okay..." A little scared... and now kind of horny. "...Kyosuke."

"Don't stop... looking at me like that." Munakata says, suddenly out of breath. "...If this is all that there is, then... don't look away."

"..." He's sure Munakata's thinking too much again, but... "...Okay... I won't. But there's... way more than just this."

He doesn't want anything to change between them, though, there's a sense that things have become even deeper now. Maybe that's what Munakata feels too.

"...Did... I say something strange again?"

"No stranger than normal." 

And he quiets the inevitable follow-up question with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Now that we are here together  
>  I hope this will last forever  
> I just can't imagine myself without you_


	20. The Word I Couldn't Keep

For the second day in a row, Sakakura isn't in class.

It's not just missing class, but avoiding the two of them that has Munakata and Yukizome concerned. They do talk from time to time, but it's been almost two weeks since...

Munakata isn't one to feel jealous needlessly, or at least, that was how he saw himself. But there was something about it that made him feel insecure. The nagging feeling that maybe Sakakura was tired of him already, or that there was something he had done to make Sakakura not want to speak to him.

There was always that insecure side of him that whispered poison in his ear like that. Especially when it wasn't true. Obsessing over perceived flaws... And "researching" things like "what to do when your man starts to ghost you"...

Maybe the internet wasn't as helpful as he thought.

A sharp kick to the back of his knee makes Munakata drop to one knee, more confused and surprised than in pain.

"Wha-?!"

"I'm talking to you. You could at least have the decency to pretend you're listening." Yukizome has that voice that says she's got her hands on her hips and is glaring at him. He just knows it. "What's your deal?"

"...Sorry. I... What were we talking about?"

"..."

"Are you angry?"

"..."

"You... are angry."

"No, I just wanted you to know how it feels like to be trying to have a conversation with someone who isn't answering." Yukizome begins to pout.

"...I'm sorry. I was preoccupied. Forgive me."

Yukizome sighs.

"...It's Sakakura, right?"

"He hasn't been in contact recently."

"Yeah, same for me. I think... he's just working hard though." Yukizome tries not to sound too worried, but ultimately fails. "Even though he said he'd attend classes, he does have responsibilities, I guess?"

"It's not that he isn't attending classes, it's that he hasn't told me about it."

"You're not going to say something like, 'That's the one thing I can't forgive!' or something, are you?" Yukizome tries not to laugh.

"..."

"You two are kind of dramatic sometimes. Were you two always like that..."

"Hm?"

"Want to go look for him?" Yukizome suggests.

"Where should we look?"

"If you were a guy with more muscles than brains, where would you go?"

...

He's lost track of the number of pushups. So many that his arms are starting to go numb, but he'd already gotten tired and dizzy doing situps on the bar, upside down. Having the blood rush to his head was disorienting and made him nauseous after a while.

The familiar ache of his muscles and sweat, telling him to stop, but continuing anyway and pushing through the pain. The winter cold outside made it too hard to go running. Maybe he'd see if he could get into the pool and do laps later. But for now, the gym was the best he had.

"Sakakura."

The voice startles him, almost making his arms give out mid pushup.

Looking up, he can see Munakata and Yukizome.

"...Munakata." He says before going back to pushups.

"Hey." Yukizome waves. "What's up?"

"Working out."

"Obviously..." 

"What's wrong?" Munakata asks and Sakakura stops again, momentarily.

"Nothing."

"...You missed class. And you haven't been responding to my messages. Again I ask, what's wrong?"

"Sorry. I got stuff on my mind. I don't have time to hang out."

"Sakakura..." Yukizome frowns.

"Sorry you came all this way. I'm busy."

"Sakakura..." Munakata tries to keep his voice even, looking around and seeing none of the other students around. "...If we're breaking up, at least look me in the eyes."

At this, Sakakura's arms do give out, and he falls flat on his face.

"Ow, fuck..." Slowly, he peels himself off the ground and sits up. Naked from the waist up, Sakakura's drenched in sweat and shiny. He moves his bangs out of his face, though they're also slick with sweat and sticking to his forehead. "What are you talking about?"

"If you're not interested in me anymore, I want to hear you say the words."

"...I'm..." Sakakura looks around cautiously. "...I never said that."

"Your signs are very clear."

"Are they?" Yukizome rolls her eyes. "You two suck at communication."

"...I'm not... I don't want to." Sakakura murmurs. "Shit, I didn't mean to give you that impression. I really am just... just... busy."

"Busy...?" Munakata's expression softens.

"...I lost weight."

"Huh...?"

"Lucky." Yukizome pouts.

"No. Not lucky. It..." Sakakura grumbles. "...It means I lost muscle mass. I haven't been sticking to my diet or my workout routine. So I gained fat and lost muscle."

"...?"

"You don't get it." The look on Sakakura's face seems disproportionately upset by all of this. "...I need to stay in shape. I can't get distracted now that... now that I have a shot..."

"A shot? At boxing?"

"If my parents knew I'd lost weight they'd lose their fucking minds." He can already imagine them harping on him. "They're always like that. I... I can't let them down."

"Sakakura, I don't think sweating to death is helping." Yukizome continues to frown.

"I... I messed up. I got distracted. I've got more matches coming up, and if I'm not in my prime, then that's it. I'm gone... And... And I'll have fucked up the only thing I'm good at. Don't you get it?!" Sakakura's voice echoes loudly off the high vaulted ceiling. "This is all that I have! This is the only thing I'm good at! Boxing is who I am!"

"..." Munakata kneels down next to him on the ground. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it wasn't like you could do anything."

"Even just saying that you were working out more and would be busy would have been preferable."

"...Sorry, I only know how to disappoint people." Sakakura says it, a rueful smile on his face. "Even you."

"I understand you're upset, but I think you're blowing this out of proportion. And I'm not disappointed. You aren't disappointing anyone."

"You don't have any idea what my parents are like. I... They gave up so much so I could even have the chance to be here, and... if I'm not at my best, then what the fuck good am I...? I was having fun and being lazy and I let myself slip... But I can't do that. Not with so much on the line."

"You're starting to spiral. You haven't jeopardized anything just by a slip. These things happen. You're being too hard on yourself. I can appreciate your situation and I admire your dedication and discipline, but... you have to come up for air sometimes."

"There's plenty of air. And anyway, sometimes it's still hard to breathe."

Munakata sighs. Placing his hand on Sakakura's shoulder, ignoring the feeling of the sweaty warmth, he tries to get Sakakura to focus on him.

"You've been working out for days, haven't you. Without stop?"

"..."

"...You know that's not healthy. I understand athletes push themselves to these extremes, but I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're worth more than your title."

Sakakura stares at him, and at the hand. Part of him wants to push it away, ignore it, continue on... but what good would that do? Munakata wasn't even the type of person that would work on.

"...Did I ever tell you about the first time I won a tournament?"

"No."

Sakakura groans and lays back on the ground... which is actually probably a bad idea considering the floors of gyms are not really the cleanest places to lay down, shirtless and sweaty.

"I did a few underground boxing tournaments. Bare-knuckle, pretty much no rules. For money, things like that. Bare-knuckle is actually easier than how we do it with gloves. In bare-knuckle you don't hit people in the face if you can avoid it because teeth can hurt and there are more bones and shit to fuck up your hands. When you hurt your hands, you want to stop. The boxing gloves keep you from messing up your hands that badly so you actually can hit someone in the face and be more okay than normal..."

Yukizome makes a face. Blood sports were really not her thing, usually. She was mostly there to support Sakakura, but two men hitting each other in the face was not a fun time for her usually.

"...My first actual tournament that was legit, my parents were there. They knew all about the underground stuff. Hell, they even encouraged it if it helped me get better. I made it all the way to the end and it's my last fight. I was trying to tire the guy out. He was big. Bigger than me, even. So, I'm doing my best to keep this guy from landing any real hits, so he tires himself out. But I let my guard down a few times and he hits me right in the face. Blood everywhere... It was a fucking mess. Lucky he didn't break my nose."

"..." Munakata listens to the story attentively.

"But I still won. Knocked him out. Actually may have broken his nose...? Don't remember. So... They give me my trophy and everything. People cheering me on. But my parents look so... disappointed. So angry at me. On the way home after I get patched up they just go in on me about how they can't believe I made an amateur mistake and how I should be ashamed for not getting a clean victory... I won, but because I got hit it wasn't good enough. It's... It's never good enough..."

"Sakakura..."

"I try so hard all the time for them, and it's just not fucking good enough. And if they knew I was losing muscle mass, they'd flip their shit. 'That's not like you', 'We expect better', 'We didn't spend that much on your training so you could throw it all away'... I'd be... I'm... an embarrassment to them. If I can't... If I'm not... If I'm not at my best, then... what the fuck was it all for...? What the fuck good am I?"

Munakata pulls Sakakura up to hug him.

Ignoring the sweat, the dirt... The everything else.

"You're doing the best you can."

"...No, I'm not. I... I can't..."

"You are." Munakata says again, more forcefully. "It's okay to forgive yourself."

"They... They'd be so... Why am I this fucking weak?!"

"You aren't."

"I try... I try so hard. And it's still... I'm... I'm so tired... I'm so fucking tired..."

...

They wait until Sakakura has calmed down, back on his feet. Yukizome helping wipe the sweat off of him with his towel which... now really smells like sweat. She has half a mind to scrub it immediately.

"Have you eaten?" Yukizome asks, holding the towel by two fingers and very far away from her.

"...Protein and vegetables. So many eggs..." He makes a face.

"That must be hard since you love sugar and cake and stuff." Yukizome suddenly drops the towel and points. "Could it be you love that stuff because it's forbidden fruit?"

"...Why are you torturing me with food?" He groans. "Can we talk about something else? ...I can't have that kind of stuff most of the time, and especially not when I'm trying to build muscle. If I were at my target weight it'd be..."

Sakakura groans again and shakes his head, telling them it's best to leave it be.

There's... a lot more precision and planning to being an athlete than Munakata realized. 

"Still, you need to rest too."

"And shower." Yukizome says flatly. When Sakakura gives her a disapproving look, she shrugs. "I'm just saying."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't realize what strain you were under." Munakata bows and Sakakura immediately makes him stop.

"Cut that out. You... You doing that makes me uncomfortable." Sakakura crosses his arms. "You don't have to apologize like that..."

Munakata reaches out and takes him by both shoulders with his hands.

"I want to help if I can. If... you need help creating a meal plan or an exercise schedule, please let me know. I can help."

"You... don't have to. I... I was overreacting before. It was the holidays and... I kind of lost it there." He looks away, bashful as always. "Sorry about that."

"Even so, I want to help."

"...Yeah?"

"Of course."

Sakakura sighs, but he's smiling.

"You're a goody goody, you know that."

"Hm?"

"You're too nice to people. If I were a bad guy, I'd take advantage of that."

Sakakura flicks him in the forehead.

"Ow." Munakata rubs his forehead with a blank expression. "What does that make you?"

"Huh?"

"Are you a bad guy? Because you seem like a goody goody yourself, Sakakura."

Sakakura blushes.

"Don't say something like that..." He rubs the back of his head. "I'll... You'll make me want to take advantage."

"You can if you want. I don't mind."

"Y-Yeah?"

Sakakura moves closer, but Munakata doesn't turn away.

"I said I don't mind. I'm more glad that you aren't upset with me. I thought..."

"Of course I'm not upset with you. I..." Sakakura reflexively pulls Munakata closer and kisses him. It's a sudden move, and bolder than either of them are expecting because Sakakura quickly releases him. "...Sorry. I... I don't know what came over me."

"...I still don't mind." Munakata clears his throat. "Although... I do believe you now when you say you weren't upset with me."

"...Hah. Well... Maybe I'm a bad guy, taking advantage of you now."

"I doubt it. Unless being sweaty and half-naked was part of the plan."

"Th-That... is not what I was planning."

"Then I'll enjoy the view while it lasts. Unless you want to be bad...?"

"Did you forget..." Yukizome clears her throat loudly, glaring at the two of them. "...that I'm standing right here?!"

"...Ah. Yukizome." Munakata is blushing and moves a bit back from Sakakura. "Sorry."

Sakakura is bright red.

"You did! You forgot I was here!" Yukizome immediately begins to pout. "...I get that there's no room for me but at least be considerate of my feelings here..."

"You were the one watching!" Sakakura, blushing points at her. "It's your fault!"

"How's this my fault?! You're the ones who decided to have a love scene all of a sudden with one of you half-naked."

"You were looking."

"Why would you do it right in front of me? I'm not a houseplant!"

**Author's Note:**

> Part 4 in the series "Adios, Despair!" ... although it's more like Part 2.5?  
> Dedicated to all the people who need a little more fluff in the tags.
> 
> Part 1- The Despair Tango  
> Part 2 - I'll Follow You Into the Dark  
> Part 3 - A Hopeful Waltz


End file.
